Chapter Twenty Four

“Stay down,” Paul ordered as he tried to calm the racing of his heart, before he began speaking to the agents outside on his radio. His face was set in grim determination, his hopes mounting that this would be the last time; that they would catch him.

“Are you all right?” Andrew uttered, turning his eyes to his friend, who only continued to stare up at the cracked glass, “Monica?”

But the little angel didn’t answer. A sudden coldness had consumed her body and she couldn’t take her eyes off the glass and all that it implied. The wind had just blown in a new direction and it was one she had barely considered, but now the absoluteness of it filled her completely.

“Don’t move. I’ll be right back,” Paul instructed as he stayed low but headed to the door, his gun drawn as he headed out to the porch.

“Monica,” Andrew stated her name again, more firmly this time, his concern for her deepening and not just because of this latest attack.

The hardness behind her name snapped her from her shocked reverie as she looked over at him from her position on the floor, “Andrew, I want you to go Home. I don’t want you here anymore-.” Her voice shook with urgency as she met her eyes squarely with his.

To say he was bewildered by her words would have been an understatement as Andrew struggled to focus on this new situation despite all the emotions that were already running through him, “Monica, what-?”

“Those shots weren’t meant for me!” She cried out, as if she was unable to believe he hadn’t noticed what she already had, “They were meant for you and Paul and no one is getting hurt for me, especially not you!”

Looking up at the window, he realized what she was referring to and couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. The shots had seemed to come simultaneously, indicating that there was more than one person firing and by the placement of the bullets, it was clear that McArthur and his friend were intent on picking off Monica’s protectors. Turning his head back to her quickly, he saw the desperation in her eyes combined with stubborn resolve as he tried to find words that would soothe her panic, “Angel, I’m not going anywhere and I think you know that. I’m fine and Paul is fine. God was watching out for us, just like He always does.”

“I don’t want you here! This is my problem! I’m the one who stayed that night…I’m the one who saw him!” Tears wet her eyes as she thought about what could have happened only moments ago. She knew he was an angel and couldn’t die, but for him to suffer any pain because of this would be unbearable to her, “Andrew, please…just go…please go…”

Her pleading ripped through his very soul while at the same time, his heart was filled with love just knowing her love for him would make her sacrifice her own security at having him here in order to keep him safe. Reaching over, he took her chin into his hand and whispered gently, “No.”

The little angel looked positively crushed at his response as in a blink the tears spilled over onto her cheeks, “Andrew…”

“No, honey. We’re in this together. You, me, Paul and the Father,” He never released her chin as he spoke softly to her, “Nothing is going to happen to me and nothing is going to cause me to leave you. Monica, I’m not only here because God sent me here, but because I want to be. I want to be with you.”

“But I don’t want you hurt,” She insisted tearfully, her voice catching in a sob, “You or Paul. Paul isn’t an angel, Andrew and I don’t want him dying for me.”

“His job is to protect, Monica. If it weren’t you, then it would be someone else.”

“Then I’d rather it be someone else!” She lowered her head as the tears overtook her. She longed to be able to pull herself together and be strong, but this last threat was quickly overtaking her. Her own fear of this man was hard enough to deal with, but trying to cope with what he could do to Andrew or Paul was something she didn’t want to face.

“He got away,” Paul’s disgusted voice stopped Andrew from replying to her as he looked up at his partner, “But we’re leaving. Now.”

Feeling as if he was suddenly having trouble keeping up with how quickly things changed of late, Andrew tried once more to clear his mind, “But I thought-.”

“He’s getting too aggressive and I’m not willing to risk this any further. You were probably right to begin with; we shouldn’t have stayed after the other night,” Paul’s voice held unbridled fury as his patience with this situation was quickly getting out of hand.

”What about our crooked agent? If he knows where we are heading…”

But Paul shook his head firmly, “No one is going to know until they have to. We’re being accompanied to the airport by local police officers as I don’t trust anyone other than you at this point. The agents who will be at the new destination will be from that state and it is doubtful they are involved with McArthur. They are all being briefed now by the head of the department and this mission has become even more secure as there are to be no leaks to anyone else in the agency.”

Andrew rose to his feet and moved to help Monica, who appeared to be completely inconsolable at this point, “When are we leaving?”

“Right now. The car is just outside the door.”

“Let me gather up the kittens and I’ll be right with you both,” Andrew knew there was no way he was leaving without Monica’s little charges, regardless of how urgent it was and he received no argument from his partner.

“Leave them,” Monica uttered firmly, though it broke her heart even more to say the words.

“No,” He replied once again as he headed for the steps, not seeing the panic that immediately overcame his best friend.

“Andrew!” She cried out after him, terrified that something would happen to him once he was out of her sight, but she was stopped from following him by Paul’s arms securely around her.

“I know what you’re thinking, honey,” He whispered to her, “He was trying to rid you of our protection this time, but I assure you that he is gone now.”

But his words did little to calm her as she briefly struggled to get away from him before giving up the fight. She only wanted this over. She wanted her angelic existence back and to know that her best friend and Paul were safe. She felt as if she wanted so many things right now and they all felt completely out of her reach.

*****

Everything was slightly less frantic this time, and Paul breathed a sigh of relief as they drove away from the house, hopeful that this move would be their last. He spotted Monica in the rearview mirror, and then concentrated on the road, unable to bear the blank look of acceptance on Monica’s face. He had made her lie down across the back seat, and she had one arm dangling inside box of kittens on the floor in front of her, but her eyes were dull and lifeless, hardly noticing the little animals batting at her fingertips.

After the initial shock she had calmed down considerably, to the point where he was almost worried about her. Last time they had been forced to move she had clung onto Andrew, and spent a good portion of the trip on the edge of hysteria. This time she had skipped that, and the air of resignation that surrounded her now made him afraid that she was giving up.

Sharp little teeth finally brought Monica out of her reverie and a fleeting look of amusement swept over her face as she tapped Sam on the nose after pulling her pinky finger from his mouth. She hadn’t known that it was possible to feel so incredibly tired and forlorn. She wanted to scream and cry, but there were no tears left, and her throat had long since closed. Ever since she had been hustled into the car she had spent the time going over plan after plan in her mind; plans to keep Andrew and Paul safe and to end the assignment once and for all.

Maybe if she could just talk to McArthur… maybe she could reason with him… maybe if she revealed who she was… A myriad of possibilities floated through her still sleep-deprived mind. She asked God over and over again to just allow her the chance to appear to the killer, or to at least leave Andrew and Paul behind and run away. She closed her eyes as He rejected her request yet again. It wasn’t even a vague, non-answer, either, it was a firm ‘No, my child,” and her heart sank just a little lower.

She was about to rephrase and ask once more, but before she could she felt a warmth cover her like a blanket.

“Please, my child, do not ask Me again. Rest your mind and your body, and trust that My plan will overcome.”

The words released something within her soul, and her mind quieted, while her heartbeat evened out. It was as though she could feel His very hand stroking the worry lines from her brow, and only moments later she was asleep.

“I guess it’s a good thing we had a few things already packed,” Andrew commented, referring to the overnight bags they had each stored in the trunk, “although I was hoping we wouldn’t need them.”

Paul’s knuckles whitened as he tightened his hold on the steering wheel. “Yeah, so was I… at least not this soon. I just hope this isn’t going to be the last straw for her.”

There was a minute of uncomfortable silence and Andrew looked over his shoulder at the sleeping form of his best friend. Her devastated words still rang in his ears… her frantic pleas for him to leave… as if he would ever be able to abandon her. He was thankful that she was sleeping, and he had felt the Lord’s presence in the car, and knew that He was the one deserving those thanks. Unfortunately, His presence also indicated that Monica had been speaking to Him, and Andrew worried about what she had been said that had caused Him to intercede in an almost physical way.

“You know I don’t think those bullets were never meant to kill us,” Paul said, never taking his eyes off the road, though the muscle of his jaw clenched, and his anger was almost palpable.

“What? How is that possible… and how do you know?”

“Those shots were fired from sniper rifles, Andrew… coulda’ been a quarter of a mile away, but those things are accurate. If he’d wanted us dead, we’d be dead… and more importantly, so would she.”

Andrew’s skin began to crawl, his feelings for the killer coursing through him. He had been trying so hard to control them, and he wondered if, like Monica, this would be the last straw for him. “Then why didn’t he? It doesn’t make any sense, Paul. If he wants her dead then why in Heaven and on Earth is he playing with her?”

“I told you before, and you’re exactly right… he is playing… and it’s a big old game for him. A game he feels like he just can’t lose. He made those shots to get to her mind, not her body. I saw her looking at that window… and I don’t even want to know what she said to you after I left,” Paul was still clenching the wheel in a death grip, his words coming out like shards of ice. “She was bad enough when she was just worried about herself and her kittens…” he trailed off, but Andrew didn’t need to hear the rest. He already knew it by heart.

Monica was one of the most caring creatures he had ever known. She already felt guilt for Josh’s death. She had told him she felt badly about monopolizing his time when he could be helping others. He had a feeling that he knew what she had been asking the Father, and he sent up his own prayer to let Him know that he didn’t want to leave her side, and would stay and protect her for as long as it took.

It was a much quieter scene at the airport this time as only the two patrol cars that had blanketed them on the drive, pulled up to the plane with them. As angel and agent got out of the car, Andrew opened the back door and as carefully as he could, lifted the sleeping angel into his arms, hating to wake her. But thankfully, Monica seemed to be out for the duration, at least for now, and this came as a great relief to both he and Paul. Her head rested against his chest and he felt her nestle just a little closer as a sad smile played on his lips. He watched as Paul grabbed the box of kittens and carried them on board, before he laid a tender kiss on the sleeping angel’s forehead.

He passed Paul once more as he headed up the steps to the small private plane and he moved to place his friend on the sofa, before reaching for a blanket to cover her with, grateful when she never stirred. The Father had given her rest, which He had known she had needed, despite the long nap she had earlier and the sleep had come at the perfect time, allowing her mind to ease from all the things that currently clouded it.

After checking on her feline family, Andrew looked up just as Paul boarded and sealed up the plane after depositing the bit of luggage they had prepared in the event of an emergency on the floor. “Paul, do we have a pilot?” Andrew asked, having not seen anyone else enter the plane.

“You’re looking at him,” The agent replied with the faintest of smiles, though it was quickly replaced with seriousness, “No one and I mean no one from here is going to know where we are heading. McArthur isn’t working alone and from here on out, we’re going to try and make sure that he doesn‘t stand a chance of finding us.”

“So where are we headed?” Andrew asked, taking a seat near Monica’s sleeping form.

“You let me worry about that for right now,” Paul stated softly. “We have a few options and I haven’t completely made up my mind of yet. You take care of her and let me get us off the ground and out of this state.”

Andrew sank back in his seat as Paul disappeared into the cockpit, and he gazed down at his best friend unable to resist reaching down to stroke her hair with a loving hand. He was thankful for the time alone with her while Paul flew the plane, even if she was sleeping and he kept a firm hand on her as the plane taxied down the runway and began is ascent.

The pressure in the cabin caused the little angel to stir a few minutes later and she lifted her head slightly to look up at him through exhausted brown eyes that were overflowing with sadness.

The older angel patted his leg inviting her to use it as a pillow and she obliged, too weary to argue or to try to fully awaken and his hand moved to stroke her pale cheek, “I talked to Paul, angel. Those bullets weren’t meant for us, all right? They were meant to upset you. He’s trying to mess with your mind, Monica, in the hopes that you will do something foolish and he is sadly mistaken if that is what he thinks will happen.”

She gave a brief nod as a sigh escaped her, knowing it all made sense. For both shots to have missed their targets would have been a miracle and though she knew God worked those each and every day, she also understood that He didn’t interfere with free will, “I’m sorry I asked you to leave,” Monica whispered, closing her eyes against the soothing feeling of his hand, “That’s the last thing I want. I can’t imagine doing this without you, Andrew.”

“You don’t have to,” He assured her, rearranging the blanket over her small form.

There was silence between the two friends for several minutes and Andrew thought she had drifted back off to sleep when her voice once again filled the void, “Andrew?”

“What is it, honey?” Physically feeling the heaviness of her heart weighing down upon his own.

Keeping her eyes closed, she replied in a voice so small and blighted, “I’m…I’m afraid I may be starting to hate him. I don’t know how to forgive him for any of this and I don’t have any understanding for anyone so cruel.”

Her words left him speechless and completely unsure as to how to answer her as he had been wrestling with his own feelings about McArthur. He hadn’t given much thought as to how Monica had to be feeling about him as he had been wrapped up so tightly in his own anger at the man. But as the loving and trusting little soul that she was, he knew now that she had been searching for any shred of goodness in this man who was continuing to torment her. He also knew now that she had come up empty handed and that had to be breaking her heart. She wanted to believe in the overall goodness of the human race but for weeks now, she had only been faced with evil and violence and probably more of it then she had ever experienced in her existence and all coming from one person and she was fighting not to allow him to change her heart.

“Angel, I don’t believe you have it in you to hate anyone, not even this man,” He told her truthfully, hoping that would bring her some small comfort.

“I feel dangerously close,” She whispered sadly, clutching his knee with her fingers, “I don’t like the way this feels, Andrew.”

Andrew closed his eyes, forcing himself to keep stroking his hand through her silky hair. He thought that he was possibly the worst angel to be talking to her about hate, but there was no one else. “I know you don’t, Angel,” he managed to say, though his throat was growing tight. “Think about all of the words of love you’ve said to so many people. Those words are a part of you, they define who you are. Don’t give in to what you’re feeling now… hang onto that love you know so well.”

The Irish angel moved just her eyes to gaze into his face; a face that reflected all the love he felt for her. She didn’t know if she could pull that feeling from her own heart, but she decided to take strength from his.

Chapter Twenty Five

Sheets of rain buffeted the plane, and cut visibility as Paul edged the nose down and began the descent. The door into the cabin was open and he turned around briefly to see his two passengers sitting on the sofa, one with a lap full of kittens.

“We’re heading in, and the weather’s a little rough, so you two had better strap in,” he told them.

Neither angel had ever been particularly scared of flying, but the conditions outside were rough, and Monica quickly scooped up her little charges and deposited them in their box. The dark clouds completely obliterated any sign of the sun, and made the afternoon look more like evening.

“You aren’t having a bad feeling about this, are you?” she pointedly asked her friend, eyes shifting to Paul as she spoke.

Andrew smiled reassuringly and patted her hand. “Nope. It might be bumpy, but we’ll make it.”

She nodded, feeling at least a little better knowing that, and then fastened the thick belt around her waist.

“This is actually pretty unusual,” Paul called out. “I bet it’ll pass through by the time we get to the ranch.”

“Ranch?” Monica asked, curiosity aroused despite all the other feelings battling for dominance within her heart.

“Yeah, well I figured you got along pretty well with those horses back on the farm…” Paul hoped that he had made the right decision.

He didn’t want her to think that he was just trying to patronize and distract her from her very real fears, but at the same time he desperately wanted to see that spark of happiness return to her eyes. He was feeling confident that this would indeed be their last stop, and that McArthur would never be able to find them after all of the precautions he had taken. He wasn’t about to take any unnecessary risks, but he didn’t want to have to keep Monica under lock and key either.

When the little angel looked to Andrew for answers he responded with a raised eyebrow and a shrug. “He didn’t tell me anything,” he said, “but I think he made a good choice.”

“Okay everyone,” Paul announced, “here’s where it gets hairy. Just hold onto something. We’ll be down in a minute.”

The plane began a more rapid descent and the pounding rain sounded more like ice hitting the roof and wings. The runway lights were lit, guiding them in, and Paul smoothly angled the plane towards the single strip of tar. A strong wind rocked the plane but he quickly compensated and leveled out the nose. He couldn’t prevent a very pronounced bounce as they hit the ground, but he kept the plane on track and applied the brakes, feeling the sharp deceleration that forced him forward against his seatbelt. The loud rush of the engines died down slowly and he taxied to the end of the runway, breathing a long slow breath when he finally brought the plane to a complete stop.

“Sorry about that landing,” he said, glancing back into the cabin. A look of slight confusion passed over his features as he took in the relatively calm expressions on his companions, and then he smiled. Apparently they trusted his skills more than he did.

There was no one there to meet them this time, just a car parked to the side of the runway and the blinking lights of the tower. The “airport” was no more than a hangar with an attached office, and Paul gave a wave to the man sitting inside as he ran to the car, trying unsuccessfully to dodge the heavy raindrops. He pulled the car closer to the plane as Andrew and Monica gathered their things, and within fifteen minutes they were speeding off the tarmac, bound for their new temporary home.

The road was almost perfectly flat, but Monica could make out cliffs in the distance, and scrub brush dotting the sides of the long, straight road. The rain continued for another few minutes, and then it suddenly petered out, going from a deluge to a spattering of droplets in a matter of minutes. The clouds, so dark and menacing just a short time earlier, seemed to grow thinner and lighter as they moved off, and then the first rays of sunshine broke free, shining off the red cliffs, and looking like the light of God touching down to bless His creation once more.

Monica was particularly struck by the feelings that the vision stirred within her breast. The negative feelings were still there, and she didn’t know how she could deal with them on her own, but one look at that light reminded her yet again, that she didn’t have to do it alone.

“That rain was actually probably a good thing,” Paul said. “It can get up to a hundred degrees or more, even when you’re not in the middle of the desert, and a little storm cools things off for a short while at least.”

“It’s been a while since I did quite this much traveling,” Monica said with wry grin, “I feel like I’m getting a tour of the country.”

“Well I wish the circumstances were a little more pleasant, but at least you’re smiling again,” Paul said.

Andrew glanced back at the little angel, extremely glad to see that smile himself, although he could also see all of the emotions it masked. He had a feeling that those now-hidden emotions would make themselves known in the night, but he was willing to take what he could get.

The remainder of the ride to the ranch was relatively quiet as Monica tried to rest in the little bit of peace she had temporarily found. She was fairly certain it would not last, but for the moment, the scenery combined with finally being away from the house and all that had transpired there had her feeling slightly more appeased then she had felt in the last several days and she wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as she could.

Glancing down at her furry charges, she scooped Lucy out of the box and cradled the kitten in her arms as she continued to look out the window. Strangely, for an angel who generally enjoyed being around people, the fact that there were no houses or other cars in sight came as a great relief to her. It served to make her feel safer though she was still determined to not let her guard down and she wondered how long it would be once this was over that she would finally feel safe again.

The ranch seemed to appear out of nowhere as if it were little more than an oasis, but as it grew closer, it seemed to take on life. The ranch was situated in the valley, the mountains acting as a breathtaking backdrop that hugged the little ranch from a distance. The Irish angel could make out the stables and the corral, positioned next to the house and it all seemed very warm and inviting. As the car pulled up the dirt road, her expression further softened at the sight of two foals in the corral with the other horses, and when Paul stopped the car, Monica quickly jumped out, seeming to forget her current situation for a moment.

As his friend hurried towards the corral, Andrew started to raise his voice to stop her, as he and the agent got out of the car as well, but Paul laid a hand on his arm to stop him, “Let her go. At the moment, there is not a soul in the world who knows we are here and I don’t plan on letting anyone know until morning. Let’s give her these few hours to not feel caged and afraid. After everything that has happened, she deserves it.”

Andrew felt tears prick the corners of his eyes at Paul’s words as he silently nodded his head. He knew that for the moment, Monica had forgotten why she was here in the first place and with the reminder from his partner, he realized how grateful he was for that fact. Though it would be brief, he was currently seeing his dearest friend as she had been a few weeks ago, before any of this had started. He elected to keep his distance, along with Paul, allowing her the moments of freedom, where fear was not her predominant emotion.

The older angel had always been struck by Monica’s ability to bond with animals and children especially, though she always made an impact on every human she met. Now was no exception as he watched the two foals trot over to her as she approached them, her soft voice seeming to intrigue them. He was mesmerized as she reached out a hand to stroke them each in turn as one of the larger horses approached as well and nuzzled her shoulder as if to say “Hello”.

His heart positively ached as he watched her, so wanting the innocence that had always been Monica to remain in place, despite all she had witnessed and endured the last few weeks. He and God alone knew just how deeply she had been affected by everything and he felt as if the moment of watching her with the horses was a stolen one, as if it had somehow been taken out of context and didn’t belong in this day and place, but he treasured it with every fiber of his being. He chose to allow it to be proof that one day she would again be all right, full of life and love, instead of the guilt and despair that he could still feel weighing upon her heart, despite her smile.

As if feeling his eyes upon her, the little angel turned around and met her eyes with his as she slowly walked back to the car to gather up her kittens, “They’re lovely, Paul and it is so beautiful here,” She looked around her once again, wishing she could believe that no violence could ever some to such a peaceful setting. At one time, she would have believed that to be true, but now that kind of trust felt like little more than a fanciful wish.

Paul and Andrew both noticed the way her eyes clouded briefly and Paul was quick to speak up, “How about we get our things inside and your kitten family settled and then go for a ride? We have a few hours of daylight left and tonight you can gallop off into the setting sun if you want to.”

A smile crossed her pretty face as she nodded her head, “I would love that, Paul,” Her words were heartfelt as his offer was a gift; the gift of being able to feel like herself for a while and to simply feel the freedom of being one with the Father’s creation.

*****

Once Monica had seen to her kittens and Paul had given both she and Andrew a quick tour of the spacious ranch house, human and angels saddled up and set off across the land. The early evening breeze was warm and inviting as they rode in comfortable silence, each of them weary from the long and stressful day, but unable to help but to take advantage of not being restricted for the time being.

As Paul cantered ahead a little ways, Andrew’s heart saddened at the fact that Monica stayed close to him and he was reminded that fear was choosing this for her. While her spirit longed to feel the wind in her hair, her mind couldn’t allow it this time, afraid of what could be lurking down the road ready and all too willing to harm her and he was determined that her spirit win out over her mind, “Up for a little race, angel?” He asked her with a smile.

Her face lit up as she nodded her head eagerly and a moment later, they were both spurring their steeds forward at a gallop. The little angel’s face was lit up with joy as she seemed to become one with her mount, leaning down in the saddle, only hearing the sound of hooves beating upon the earth. Andrew stayed close to her, allowing her not only to feel safe, but also like the free spirit she had been created to be once more.

The sun sank below the horizon, but its light continued to streak the long clouds purple and deep pink against the incredibly blue sky. Monica took in deep breaths, feeling as though the air was cleaner and sweeter. Perhaps it was the fact that it hadn’t yet been tainted with violence and violation, but she only knew that it seemed different to her, and she welcomed it after the days stuck in the house. Her hair was a wild tangle, and her cheeks were flushed with color and dimpled from the smile the graced her lips. Paul couldn’t remember her ever looking quite so beautiful, and he hated for the moment to end, but he knew from experience that the darkness could fall faster than expected.

“I think we’d better start heading back,” he announced, reining his horse in and turning back towards the ranch. He expected some slight protest from Monica, but she was too much at peace to argue.

“Do you think we could do this again tomorrow?” she asked, thinking for the first time that this place might remain her safe haven.

Paul felt his heart well up, struck by the tender look on her face and by the child-like hopefulness which crept back into her voice. He had missed it for the past week and he was so glad to discover that it had not been completely lost.

“Sure we can. You just say the word. There’s lots of territory out here to explore.”

Paul wasn’t the only one happy to see a trace of the old Monica coming back to them. Seeing the sparkle in her eyes he was almost able to believe that she was completely herself again, but he knew better. His heart still felt heavy within his chest, and he knew that a part of that weight came from her. Even if McArthur was caught the next day, and they were able to return Home immediately, it would take time for her to recover. A sadness passed over his eyes as he considered that she would probably never be exactly the same. He quickly blinked away that thought when Monica turned in her saddle to face him.

“Thank you for the race,” she said very simply, but the words and her crooked grin conveyed much more than their literal meaning.

She realized why he had challenged her and although it had been a relatively small thing, it was still a demonstration of the special connection that they shared. She didn’t think that she had ever appreciated that bond as much as she did now. She couldn’t imagine not having it, and she pushed aside the fleeting image of the bullet holes in the glass. God had given them a gift, and no man was going to take it away.

*****

“In honor of our new home here, I propose an old fashioned barbeque,” Paul suggested as the three of them reconvened in the kitchen.

They had taken care of the horses, unpacked and showered, and were all feeling much more relaxed and comfortable than they had in some time. Monica was twisting her damp hair up into a ponytail, but she nodded her agreement with Paul’s idea.

“Do you think we could eat outside?” she asked, not wanting to push the issue if Paul thought it was a risk, but desperately wanting to remain out of doors and free.

“I don’t see why not,” he saw the look of thankfulness in her eyes and wondered if perhaps this place would be a new beginning for everything. He had tried to keep his feelings at bay, but he didn’t know how much longer that could last… or how much longer it needed to. Talking to Andrew about Lauren had served to remind him of all the reasons why he shouldn’t pursue Monica, but the fact remained that his emotions were telling him all of the reasons why he should.

The little angel was almost as quick to pick up on the subtle change in Paul’s expression as Andrew was, and she took a mental step back. Her heart beat a little faster, remembering that she was supposed to be taking care not to lead the agent on. There were just so many other things going on that it was hard to keep everything straight in her head. She had forgotten that just an innocent look from her could mean something very different to him.

“Why don’t you get the grill going,” Andrew said as he crossed between Monica and his partner on the way to the refrigerator. “I’ll start getting the burgers ready.”

“Sounds like a plan… and don’t forget some hotdogs too,” he added as he stepped through the screen door and out onto the back patio.

Monica’s gaze followed him out until he was totally involved in lighting the charcoal, and then she hurried to Andrew’s side. “I…” she wasn’t even able to finish her thought before he placed a finger to her lips to stop her.

“You didn’t do anything,” he said sternly. “You have too much to think about already… I don’t want you worrying about that too… not right now. Please,” he said with all the love in his heart, “just let yourself relax for a little while. Everything will work itself out eventually… you don’t have to think about fixing it all right this instant.”

Knowing that he had probably been a little frustrated with her former blindness in relation to Paul’s feelings, the little angel was relieved at Andrew’s words. “Thank you, Andrew,” she whispered, her dark eyes staring into his, “for everything.”

His green eyes held her gaze as he replied with complete seriousness, “Actually, I need to be thanking you, angel.”

“Me?” Her expression turned inquisitive as she shook her head slightly to indicate her confusion over his words.

“Yes, you. For allowing me the honor of being one of your protectors. While I know it hasn’t been easy, if you had to be here, then I’m more than thankful that I am as well.” He smiled seeing a tearful grin cross her face at his words.

“Andrew…” Monica reached for his hand and squeezed it gently, not knowing how else to express her own thanks at his thoughtful and caring words. But then again, with Andrew she didn’t need words. He already knew.

Chapter Twenty Six

The night sky in the valley was perhaps one of the most magnificent sights that Monica had ever seen. The heavens, though darkened with night had come alive above her head as the stars had appeared in multitudes, stretching out like a sequined blanket in the sky for as far as her eyes could see.

Having been unable to sleep once the three of them had all gone to their rooms, she had crept quietly outside, knowing that for tonight at least, there was no real danger as no one knew that they were there. By late morning, she knew that the ranch would be alive with new agents sent here to protect her and once again the net of protection would be thrown over her, limiting her movements as she tried not to suffocate under its weight. So for now, she had decided to take advantage of the moment to feel as unafraid as she possibly could.

“There you are.”

The sound of Paul’s voice shifted her gaze from the sky to his face as she smiled a bit sheepishly, “I hope this was all right. It’s just so beautiful out here that I couldn’t resist.”

He considered her reasons for a moment before nodding his head as he took a seat next to her on the step and followed her gaze up to the stars, “Tonight it is fine as I don’t foresee any trouble. Come morning, however…”

“Understood,” She let out a soft sigh, knowing all too well that morning would bring the problems of a brand new day and she would have never seen herself preferring the darkness to a sunrise, but for right now, that was the reality of it.

They sat in compatible silence for a moment, before Paul spoke up once more, his voice holding a tinge of nervousness beneath its usual warmth, “I have to tell you, Monica, I think you have handled all of this remarkably well, especially considering what has been thrown at you.”

Managing a small smile, she glanced over at him, “At times, I’ve wondered, Paul, but you and Andrew have certainly been wonderful. I don’t think I’ve thanked you since the first night we arrived at the farm, so thank you. You’ve helped to make this bearable.”

“You don’t have to thank me, honey,” Tentatively, he reached for her hand and grasped it in his own, “It has honestly been a pleasure.”

Though the gesture of her hand in his was a small thing, a knot began to form in the pit of her stomach as she tried to swallow back her panic, “I’m sure my nightmares, midnight walks and moments of grace falling off horses have been a real treat for you, Paul,” She smiled, trying to casually pull her hand away, but he held on tightly, “Not to mention my turning your safe houses into a refuge for orphaned kittens.”

He chuckled softly as he met his eyes with hers once more, “You’ve been a breath of fresh air, Monica, kittens and all,” He lowered his eyes for a moment, trying to summon up all his courage to admit his feelings to her, “Monica…”

“Paul, don’t,” She whispered, unable to fathom the thought of him baring his heart when there was no way she could return the feelings and desperately wanting to save him as much hurt as she could.

His eyes widened slightly at her words, “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“I think I do,” Monica replied, her expression one of complete remorse, “I think I understand more than you realize I do.”

He released her hand slowly to fold it with his other one as he clenched them together tightly, “So you’ve gathered that I have feelings for you,” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement that he had resigned himself to.

“Yes,” She gazed back up at the stars, trying to gain strength from their glory, “Paul, you’ve been a good friend to me, and I treasure finding that in you, but-.”

“But that’s it, huh?” He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice. He wasn’t upset with her, only disgusted with himself. He had known all along that she was an innocent and any gestures she had made towards him had only been pure, but now he had placed her in another awkward situation and himself in one too.

“I’m sorry,” Monica uttered in a voice so soft he almost thought he imagined her speaking. Her heart ached at the hurt she could so clearly see in his face and she wished she had some way to alleviate it.

“Don’t be sorry,” Paul replied, rising to his feet in preparation to go back inside the house, “And don’t stay out here too long. It’s getting late and you should get some sleep.”

“Paul…” Her eyes pleaded with him, longing to have the relationship between them stay as comfortable as it had been, but he had quickly put up a wall that she had no idea of how to tear down.

“It’s fine, Monica, really,” He told her as gently as he could as he opened the screen door, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Monica sadly watched him go back inside, her heart aching at the hurt she knew she had caused. Turning back to look into the sky once more, she felt her soul well up with all the grief that had gathered in it over the past weeks. Her vision was blurry as she tried to pick out the constellations, desperate to see that some things were constants.

“Oh, Father,” she whispered finally, as she bowed her head, unable to see through her tears. “Please give me the strength to continue, and please give me the right words at the right time.” She knew that eventually Paul would learn of her true nature and she just hoped that the fact that she and Andrew had kept it secret wouldn’t hurt him even more.

She stayed outside for a while longer, but with Paul’s expression weighing on her heart she couldn’t find as much joy in her surroundings. She spun around once more, taking in the stars and moon and the mountains silhouetted against the dark sky. She wasn’t sure when she would have a private viewing of it again and she wanted it committed to memory. Then, taking in a deep breath, she moved towards the door and went inside.

The moonlight was more than bright enough for her to see her way through the house, and she padded quietly down the hall to her room. Her heart beat a little faster as she approached Andrew’s room, and she paused in front of his door, her hand hovering over the knob. Then she closed her eyes and dropped her head and her hand. There was no need to wake him from his first real night’s sleep in over a week. Just after dinner she had managed to whisper to him that she didn’t think she’d need his help sleeping, and she wasn’t about to disturb him now.

Her room was bathed in moonlight and she felt a certain peace when she entered it. It wasn’t the light of God, but it was light that He had made, and she climbed into her bed determined to fall asleep surrounded by its comforting glow. Unfortunately that light couldn’t penetrate behind her eyelids or into her heart where the doubts and sorrows of the day still dwelled.

“Having trouble, angel?” the soothing voice floated down to her ears as she rolled over for the hundredth time, and her eyes snapped open to see Andrew standing beside the bed.

“Andrew,” she breathed his name with relief but also shame. “I told you that you didn’t need to come,” she said remorsefully, feeling that her troubled heart had probably been enough to wake him.

“I know, but I wanted to check on you anyway.” He reached down to cup her face in his hand. “And don’t forget… you aren’t the only one who misses being able to spend time together.”

She smiled, but it was strained and he knew immediately that something had happened. After dinner she had been acting relatively happy, planning for the next day’s ride, making one last trip to the barn to see the foals, and playing with the kittens in front of the big stone fireplace in the living room. He had known that her fears and worries had not disappeared, which was part of the reason for his late night visit, but now, looking into her dark and troubled eyes, he could see that there was something more.

“I went outside to look at the stars,” she said, and Andrew continued to look at her questioningly. “Paul came out to find me and he started to tell me things that I didn’t want to hear…”

“Oh, Monica,” he sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her close. He knew, without asking, exactly what those “things” were.

“I stopped him, but it was too late. I told him that I treasured his friendship, but that only seemed to hurt him. I didn’t know what else to say,” she said helplessly. “It happened so suddenly, and I guess I never really planned out what to say… I guess I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to say anything.” She leaned against Andrew’s chest, letting his heartbeat calm her own troubled heart.

“That’s what I was hoping too, Angel Girl,” he told her, closing his eyes and kissing the top of her head. “It was just one more thing that I didn’t want you to have to deal with.”

“But I did… and I think I did it badly… and now I don’t know how things are going to be between us. He wouldn’t look at me after I stopped him, and I don’t know how I’ll bear it if things are all horrible and tense. It’s bad enough to feel that someone out there wants to hurt me, but if I lose Paul’s friendship too…”

“That’s not going to happen,” Andrew said firmly. “You’re right… I’m sure that he is hurt at the moment, but he isn’t going to let that change the way he acts towards you… even if you can’t return his feelings he can’t shut his off, and I know the last thing he wants is to hurt you.”

A few tears leaked from Monica’s closed eyes and she let out a shuddering breath. “Yes, but I hurt him… and I can’t stand knowing that I did that. I’ve never hurt anyone on purpose…”

“Hey, now… stop it. You didn’t hurt him on purpose either. You didn’t do anything to make him feel the way he does about you.”

She shook her head slightly. “Maybe… or maybe I was so scared for myself that I didn’t pay attention to everything else that was going on.”

“Monica, you had a right to be scared, and you had a right to think about yourself for a change. You may be an angel, but even angels can’t watch out for everyone, all the time. Only God can do that.” He held her a fraction tighter as he went on. “You have been stronger than you think, baby, never really changing who you are or the way you act, despite everything that’s happened. That’s why Paul was able to fall in love with you in the first place, but that doesn’t make it your fault.”

“I wish that I could believe that,” she murmured, feeling herself move closer to sleep.

“Even if you don’t believe it, it’s the truth… and you know that the truth is always in you.”

As he felt her drift off to sleep in his arms, the older angel sighed sadly, and he slowly laid her back against her pillows. The moonlight coming in through the window picked up the shiny paths that her tears had made on her cheeks and he longed to erase the pensive expression on her face, even in sleep.

“Father, she feels like she is carrying the weight of the world on her small shoulders,” He whispered softly, his gaze resting on the moon outside of her window, “If it be Your will, please allow this to be over soon, for all of us. We are all dealing with our own emotions in this and none of them are easy.”

He smiled, feeling God’s love fill the room and looking down, he watched Monica’s expression soften as she seemed to feel it as well. Tenderly brushing the hair from her eyes, he leaned down to kiss her forehead as he whispered, “Sleep well, sweet angel.”

Though he knew she had wanted him to sleep tonight, he elected to stay at her side as even in sleep, these were still moments he could share with her.

*****

Paul tossed and turned early the following morning, sleep completely evading him as he tried to take his mind off what was really troubling him in order to focus on the tasks he needed to complete today. He would need to contact the head of the agency to let him know where they had gone yesterday. He knew the director would not be pleased with him waiting even this long to give their location, but Paul knew that keeping quiet last night would be well worth the reprimand, despite the fact that maybe had this place been occupied with other agents last night, he would have perhaps kept his big mouth closed to Monica on the porch.

The tortured look in her eyes had remained on his conscience all night and he cursed himself again wondering what he had been thinking in the first place by trying to tell her in the midst of all the conflict how he felt about her. He felt even further stricken by the fact that she had already known and had apparently been trying to put off the inevitable by not discussing her knowledge with him.

“What did you expect from her, for God’s sake?” He muttered aloud to himself. Her days had been filled with fear, she had been ripped from her home and then from numerous homes and he expected her to confess that she was falling in love with him as well. He never should have let his own emotions get into the way; he should have learned that the first time around.

No, he would just bury his feelings for her and concentrate on getting this case solved so he could give her what she truly wanted-her freedom. He had more than enough to keep him occupied and he made a mental note to contact the agents in the previous state to see if they had turned up any signs of McArthur after the shooting yesterday. The man was good, but he would make a mistake eventually and Paul was determined to be there the moment it happened.

*****

Though given the choice, Monica would have preferred to hide in her room this morning, she knew that would only serve to make matters worse. Paul would quickly detect that she was avoiding him, and she certainly didn’t want to make him feel any more uncomfortable than he already did.

She had awoken alone, though Andrew’s presence had been lingering in the room and she sighed softly, knowing he had stayed with her through the night. Though she felt guilty about it, his protectiveness touched her deeply and she whispered a quick prayer of thanks once more that he was there to help her shoulder this burden, which was quickly getting heavier as the days went by. Just when it felt that things couldn’t get any worse, she was proven wrong once again. McArthur trying to hurt her was one thing, but the fact that she had hurt someone else last night, was not going over lightly with her. She hated the way it felt, knowing she had caused one of God’s children pain, despite the fact that she also knew she had no way to return Paul’s feelings. Yes, she loved him, but as one of the Father’s special children and as a friend who had been helping her through a very difficult time.

The house was quiet as she climbed out of bed, taking a moment to gaze at the sunrise before showering, changing, and heading to the kitchen. She started a pot of coffee, before pulling a pan from the cupboard and setting it on the stove, her mind laden with indecision. She wanted to do something nice for Paul and though maybe breakfast was a shallow thing to want to do, it would at least be a start and she knew she had to start somewhere. But her doubts in her abilities came to the surface once more, remembering the mess she had made of a meal the last time she had tried. Cooking had never been one of her gifts and the last thing she wanted to do was set off the fire alarm again and she wasn’t surprised to feel tears of frustration pricking the corners of her eyes.

“I’ll help,” Andrew stated softly as he came up next to her, already knowing what she was trying to do and dismayed to see the presence of tears in her dark eyes.

Monica looked up at him as a sad smile crossed her face and a moment later, she had wrapped her arms around him in a hug as tight as she could muster, knowing in that moment that the gift of not having to explain her intentions to him was far more important than her lack of culinary ability.

Embracing her back tightly, he felt her drawing in a deep breath to get her emotions under control once more and he waited until she had done that before he released her gently, seeing that her eyes had cleared.

“Thank you,” She smiled, her love for him apparent in her expression, as she faced the task once more only this time with renewed energy. She needed something to focus on that couldn’t go astray and breakfast had given part of that and Andrew’s guidance was filling in the missing part of the equation.

He watched as she took from the refrigerator the items she had decided upon and laid them on the counter before the two of them set to work, Andrew being careful to not have her handling things which could burn easily. The fact that this was important to her made it every bit as important to him and he didn’t want to see her disappointed. She had seen enough of that lately to last her the rest of her existence.

“Remember something for me, angel, all right?”

She looked up from the sink where she stood peeling potatoes for hash browns. Nodding her head, she waited for him to continue.

“I know you want things with Paul back the way they were before,” He began carefully, his eyes meeting with hers, “But I don’t want you holding yourself responsible if things don’t fix as easily as you would like them to. You cannot control the way he feels or how he chooses to handle this situation. So are we clear on that one small fact?”

A small sigh escaped her, “Yes, we are and I know you’re right. I just wish…” Her voice trailed off as she returned her attention to the potato, “I don’t really know what I wish anymore. I wanted this whole thing over, but when that happens, it means Paul goes off on his own again maybe still feeling hurt and I don’t want that at all."

The older angel actually felt a wave of relief at her words, taking them as proof that she would one day heal from this experience as her love for God’s children was so clearly stated in her thoughts. Glancing down the hall and still not sensing a stir from Paul’s room, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “Have faith that God will work all of this out in the end. No one is more aware of what rests on your heart right now than He is, sweetheart.”

Leaning her head back against him, she looked up at him and smiled, “And you. You know more than you let on sometimes I think.”

Chapter Twenty Seven

The aroma of cooking food drifted down the hall to Paul’s room and he knew that he couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. As he hastily pulled on his clothes without even bothering to shower, he tried to decide which he would prefer; to have Monica hiding out in her room or to have her pretending that nothing had happened. He stood staring at his reflection in the mirror above the dresser and then furiously combed his fingers through his hair, disgusted with himself over his mental debate. He knew that he had given Monica one more thing to worry about, and here he was busy thinking about what solution would be easier for him to handle.

As he approached the kitchen he heard low voices and took a deep breath, knowing that she was awake, and hoping that things wouldn’t be too awkward. He rolled his eyes as a tiny giggle rang lightly in the air. At least she still had Andrew to rely on for friendship, he was thinking. They had always seemed to get along perfectly, and he didn’t think his partner was going to be startling her with any unwanted advances any time soon.

“Paul!” Monica said, perhaps a touch too brightly, as he came through the door. Her nervousness showed in her eyes, but she managed to keep her voice steady. “We made breakfast,” she said, pointing out the various pans and dishes, “and I didn’t even set off the fire alarm this time.”

Andrew’s heart ached at the effort Monica was putting forward to make things normal again. One look at Paul had told him that it simply wasn’t going to be that easy. The agent’s eyes were dull, and he was exuding nothing but a business-like attitude.

“That’s great, you two,” Paul said, without much enthusiasm. “I’ve got a hundred calls to make, but save me some toast.”

The hopeful spark immediately vanished from the little angel’s eyes and even Paul noticed its leaving, but he couldn’t let himself dwell on it. He had a job to get done, and that’s what he was going to do. “Andrew, if she wants to go out, stay with her. A full team should get here within an hour after I make my first call, but let’s not take any chances.”

Andrew nodded silently, and Paul just as silently left the room. A few seconds later they heard him entering the study, and the door clicking closed. Andrew looked over at Monica, who had turned her back to him and was studiously tending to a bowl of hash browns; adding salt and stirring them continuously.

“Monica,” he started, tenderly, “he just needs some time right now.”

She didn’t stop her actions, afraid of what would happen if she didn’t have something to concentrate on at the moment. “I know,” she whispered. “I just can’t stand to see the look on his face and know that I put it there.”

Andrew wanted to repeat everything that he had already told her; that it wasn’t her fault and that she hadn’t put that look on his face or the feelings in his heart, but he knew that the words would mean nothing to her in her present state of mind. She needed time as well, and the only thing he could do was offer her support if she asked for it, and be alert enough to know when she needed it but couldn’t ask.

“How about a little trip out to the corral after breakfast?” he suggested, knowing that being around the animals was at least one sure way to improve her mood.

“Okay,” she agreed, and then her dark eyes were staring into his. “I know you want to take all of this away,” she said softly, “and I wish you could…”

“But it isn’t something that can just be brushed away. I know, angel,” he said sadly.

She finally put down her spoon and pushed the bowl away from herself. “You know,” she declared, “I really don’t think I’m up for breakfast after all. Let’s just go outside.”

Her expression was begging him to agree with her, and although he hated the fact that she was too upset to eat, he didn’t have it in him to push the issue. “Whatever you want, Monica. Maybe you’ll have more of an appetite after you spend a little time with some of your friends outside.”

“Perhaps,” She stated half-heartedly as she put the bowl and a few other things back in the refrigerator, before leaving the bread beside of the toaster in the event that Paul got hungry while they were outside. She had an hour of freedom left before the demarcation of other agents would once again be present, and she only wished her heart felt lighter in order to enjoy it.

Andrew followed her outside, the humidity in the air already present despite the fact that it was still quite early and the silence between them felt as heavy as the heat as they walked to the corral. He knew she was struggling with her thoughts and he wanted to give her the space to do that, though it was taking everything in him to not attempt to reassure her as best as he could that everything would work itself out in the end.

He absent mindedly stroked one of the horses after they arrived, while his friend turned her attention to the foals. Though she was now smiling, there was sadness behind it and he knew that all too soon the reigns on her independence would tighten once more to add to her problems.

“If I could just tell him the truth, then he would understand,” Her soft voice interrupted his thoughts as she looked up at him, a glint of hope in her eyes.

But he shook his head, hating to be the one to squelch that desire for truth, “You can’t yet, angel. The Father hasn’t told us that it is time and without His help, Paul would only think that the stress had really gotten to you,” He had hoped for another smile, but was sorely disappointed and further dismayed with the words that followed.

“It doesn’t seem right to be an angel when I can’t even tell the truth about it to alleviate hurt that I’ve caused.”

“Monica, what if you weren’t an angel? Would anything about this scenario change?” He was treading on thin ice, not for her but for himself, as he wasn’t certain he wanted to know this answer. He had entertained these thoughts when the situation with Paul had first come to the surface and he had been battling jealousy, wondering what would happen if all three of them were simply humans placed in this situation. He knew that regardless of her answer, it didn’t change anything on the surface, only possibly in his heart.

Monica looked away, considering his question, “No, it wouldn’t change a thing. I care about Paul very much and though being completely human is hard for me to imagine, I don’t think that even in that situation, I’d have those kinds of feelings for him.”

He breathed an inward sigh of relief, though he almost felt embarrassed by the fact that her answer meant so much to him. It made not one bit of difference either way, as it didn’t change who she was, but knowing she was a bit of a dreamer, he was still relieved to know that she wasn’t engaging in thoughts that if she was human then things would be different, “So no matter what, the result would still be the same, so you can’t really blame this on the fact that you are an angel.”

“He would barely look at me this morning, Andrew,” Her eyes clearly showed her hurt and guilt and he wasn’t sure that there was anything he could say to her to take it away.

“I know, honey,” His own voice held sadness, “But hopefully that will change with a little time.”

“All the hoping in the world doesn’t seem to be changing very much lately,” She remarked dryly, not liking the pessimism she felt coming over her while at the same time, not feeling as if she could stop it as so much had changed in her existence in the last few weeks.

Andrew watched her go back to stroking the foals as he made a decision to take a chance and try to talk to Paul. He had little control over what happened with McArthur, but perhaps he could make some impact on the agent. Though physically it was the least of her problems, emotionally it could make a difference in her opinion of the world, which was quickly diminishing.

*****

At the sight of the unfinished and uneaten breakfast, Paul felt the guilt wash over him like a wave. It was just another piece of evidence that he had upset Monica and he was having trouble digesting that fact, though he had been completely uncertain of how to act now that she knew the truth. His own appetite now diminished, he sighed as he put the bread back in the drawer.

“Care to talk about it?”

Andrew’s voice startled him slightly as he turned around to come face to face with his partner. Leaning up against the counter, he folded his arms across his chest and shook his head, “I don’t see where there is much to discuss. I take it she told you about what happened last night?”

The angel nodded his head, praying for the right words to make this situation more bearable for both Paul and Monica, “She’s pretty worked up about it, to be honest. She doesn’t want to lose your friendship.”

“That won’t happen-,” Paul began, but his partner quickly cut him off.

“Your actions this morning told a different story, Paul. I’m sure you were feeling awkward, but so was she and only trying to make things comfortable once more,” Andrew explained, trying to be as gentle as he could, seeing the slightly defensive look on Paul’s face.

“Where is she now?” he asked.

“Down at the corral. She wanted a minute alone.”

“She feels safe there,” He stated after a moment, with another heavy sigh, “And after all that has happened, I certainly can’t blame her. You and I are the only two stable things she has going for her right now, I suppose, and I blew one of those last night.”

“You said things to her she didn’t know how to answer,” He replied, wishing he could tell Paul the entire truth, but knowing that was not a possibility, “And now she feels terrible for hurting you.”

He shook his head hard, “It isn’t her fault. I never should have let myself get to this point.”

“I told her that, but she doesn’t believe it coming from me, or at least she won’t let herself believe it,” He corrected himself, knowing Monica really didn’t doubt his words to her, but more that with everything else going on, she couldn’t hear it.

Paul couldn’t find anything else to say to his partner. He knew that he had behaved badly, and there really was no excuse besides his injured feelings. Andrew was tactful enough to leave without saying any more, but the agent didn’t need to have the truth pounded into him before he realized it for what it was. He still had a few calls to make and retreated to the study again, but this time he was also thinking about what to say to Monica the next time he saw her.

It wasn’t long before the first contingent of agents showed up at the house, and after a brief introduction, they took up their appointed rounds and Monica closed herself up in her room, claiming that she wanted to read. Andrew had a feeling that she really just wanted to pretend that she was in the house of her own free will. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize whatever bit of peace she had been able to make for herself so he forced himself to stay away.

Paul noticed what Monica was doing as well, and now he realized that having her cloister herself was definitely not what he wanted. Even if she couldn’t return his feelings, he still wanted to be able to see and talk to her as a friend. It had been less than a day and he already missed the sound of her laugh. He knew that Andrew had spoken to him in order to get him to change the way he was acting, so that Monica wouldn’t feel so badly. However, he felt like he needed to do something a little more direct as well.

He took in deep breaths of the hot desert air as he walked down the hallway to her room. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so nervous. Facing death seemed like a piece of cake compared to confronting one rather small, Irish woman.

His light tapping on the door barely made a sound, but he followed it with a quiet, “Monica? Could I speak to you for a minute?”

Inside the room, Monica’s eyes grew wide and her face paled. She had been sitting on the floor, in the middle of a Navaho rug, playing with the kittens and trying not to think about Paul or anything else outside the room. Now, here was one of the objects of her distress, knocking on the door.

“Of… of course,” she called out, praying that she would be able to hold her emotions in check.

The door opened slowly and Paul stepped inside and immediately sank to the floor across from her and started absent-mindedly dangling a piece of string that one of the kittens had been playing with. There was silence for a minute, as Paul gathered his thoughts, suddenly wondering what had possessed him to enter the room.

“Is everything all set outside,” Monica was the first one to break the silence, but she didn’t let her eyes leave the floor.

“Ummm… yeah… yes… everything’s all set,” Paul snapped out of his reverie, and he looked directly at her, wishing that she would glance up and meet his eyes the way she always had before. “Monica,” he started, his voice quite different from the all-business tone from the morning. “I just wanted to apologize for last night.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she replied, shaking her head, and distracting herself by rolling Lucy over and rubbing her tummy.

Paul raised one eyebrow and looked at her doubtfully. “That’s not the way I see it, Monica.”

“You were just telling me how you felt,” she said, wishing that something, anything, would happen and make the conversation end. “I’m the one…”

“You’re the one who what?” Paul asked. “Told me the truth in the gentlest way you could?”

She shook her head again, still not ready to listen to those words that absolved her of guilt. “It’s my fault you felt that way in the first place… and now you’re hurting because of it.”

“That is just not true, Monica, and you know it’s not true. You didn’t do anything but be yourself. I let myself get carried away, and I have no one but myself to blame. Then I go and tell you all about how I feel, when you’re going through what is probably the worst time in your life, and then I don’t even have the decency to talk to you this morning.” Paul let his head hang down, feeling even more disgusted with himself after saying those words aloud.

Monica’s eyes, on the other hand, finally moved from the floor to the agent’s distressed features. “You didn’t know what else to do. I know you didn’t do it to hurt me. I know that’s the last thing you’d ever do,” she said, feeling slightly more in control than she had since breakfast.

“You’re right about that. I don’t want you hurting, and really don’t want to be the cause of it. So please, believe me when I tell you that you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

She still had her doubts about that, but she could see how sincere he was, and she ducked her head a bit and met his eye at last. “Okay, but only if you do the same.”

Paul gave an exasperated little grin, even as his heart clenched, recognizing that this kindness was one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with her in the first place. “That sounds like a fair deal,” he agreed, and he held out his hand, noticing that Monica only hesitated for a fraction of a second before reaching out her own to shake hands.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” he said brusquely, “let’s see if we can’t make the most of this day. It’s beautiful outside, and I don’t want you spending all your time cooped up in this room. Trust me, the agents here are under special orders… you’ll hardly even know they’re around.

*****

He hung up the telephone in disgust, the words of his superior still running through his mind.

“Stop playing around with her and get the job done. You can be terminated as easily as she can, so if you know what is good for you, when you check in tomorrow night, it will be to inform me that the problem has been eliminated.”

He had been enjoying his games with her. The look of sheer terror on her face each time particularly delighted him and he had been looking forward to tormenting her a bit more before actually killing her. But he was left with no choice now.

By tomorrow night, she would be dead and the hunt would be over.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Though the afternoon had been spent pleasantly, Monica more than “hardly” knew that there were other agents on the ranch. It wasn’t that she minded the men and women who were assigned to help keep her safe, but more that their presence stood as a constant reminder that there was still a man somewhere out there who was intent upon doing her harm. Therefore, the angel really wasn’t surprised that when night fell, she found herself feeling more than slightly skittish, despite her noble attempts not to show it.

What did take her by surprise was how completely unsettled she felt, as though the humid night air itself was closing in on her. She kept trying to tell herself that she was safe, that there wasn’t any possible way that McArthur could know where she was, but there had been several moments, when she had been sitting in the living room with Paul and Andrew, when her heart had welled up with such intense panic that she had to remind herself to breath. Try as she might, she couldn’t seem to shake the feeling, and not even the conversation and the kittens were much distracting her from her feelings of anxiety.

“Maybe tomorrow we can ride to the canyon,” Paul mused, knowing how much Monica had enjoyed the afternoon ride. Things had, for the most part, been comfortable between the two of them, though he found himself wondering if she had been working as hard as he had been to make that happen. He had been determined to keep his feelings for her to himself, though in those moments when the wind caught her hair and a peaceful smile had been playing upon her lips, he had still felt his heart beat a little faster.

“That sounds like a great idea, Paul,” Andrew replied, wondering once again if Monica was even paying attention to the conversation. To anyone else, it might seem that the little angel was watching Whiskers and Angel battling over the ball of yarn, but Andrew could just make out the look in her eyes, and it was an expression that more than worried him. He knew that she had plenty on her mind, but this feeling he was getting from her was enough to make him feel on edge, “What do you say, Monica?”

His question caused her to jerk her head up as she mentally rewound the conversation. Forcing a smile in Paul’s direction, she nodded her head, “That would be lovely.”

“Well, with that settled, I’m going to go and check in one last time with the troops to make sure all is well and then I’m headed to bed. I’ll see you both in the morning.”

The two angels bid the agent good night as Paul left the room and headed for the back door. As soon as he had rounded the corner, and was out of sight and earshot, Andrew turned his attention completely on his best friend, “Angel, are you all right?”

Hearing the urgency in his voice, Monica dropped the bit of her façade that she had been able to hold onto in front of Paul and turned haunted eyes to her friend. The look in them nearly took Andrew’s breath away and her words chilled him, “Andrew, I think…I think he knows I’m here…”

He blinked, trying to understand what it was she was trying to say, “Monica, that isn’t possible. Paul has taken every precaution to make sure that this place is secure and that McArthur has no idea of where you are.”

She shook her head hard, though she decided against telling him how very frightened she felt at the moment, “I can’t seem to shake this feeling that he knows.”

“Maybe it is just because of the other agents being here now, “ He rationalized, “Things don’t feel as normal as they did last night-.”

“No, that isn’t it,” She interrupted, her hands working nervously against the legs of her blue jeans.

“Then what, sweetie?”

“I don’t know!” Immediately, she looked horrified over the tone in which her words had been delivered and she dropped her gaze down to the floor and repeated more softly, “I don’t know.”

His concern quickly mounting with her outburst, Andrew moved from the chair to the floor to be closer to her. Whatever this was, it had her physically rattled and he tried to pinpoint when he had first noticed it tonight. Reaching out, he placed a finger under her chin and raised her head to meet his eyes once more, “Talk to me, Angel Girl.”

Her eyes searched his, looking for reassurance; something that would take away this sense of foreboding that was quickly consuming her, “I don’t know what it is and it may all be in my imagination, but I just feel like he knows where I am; that he’s out there somewhere, waiting. I’ve never felt this way before, not even after the cat or the flowers, but right now, something just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right in my heart.”

“When did you start feeling this way?” His voice was soft and soothing, though he felt anything but that after hearing her admission.

She shook her head again, obviously trying to remember, but the feeling that was now nearly suffocating her had grown so gradually, “After dinner sometime. I thought I was just tired and maybe that’s all it is, but it crept over me so suddenly and now it won’t let go.”

Andrew wrapped an arm around her thin shoulders, and pulled her close. “I can’t tell you why you’re feeling this way,” he said gently, “but I can tell you that none of us are going to let anything happen to you.”

“I know that, and I know that God is here with me too, and that I shouldn’t be so afraid. I’m an angel… I should feel perfectly safe… but I just can’t make my heart believe what my mind is saying.”

“Then stop trying, Monica. Yes, you are an angel, but you have been in human form for a long time now, and that has to be making you feel vulnerable. Don’t try to make yourself push your fear away. Instead, why don’t you concentrate on all of us who care about you and are dedicated to keeping you out of harm’s way… and that includes me and the Father.”

She looked up and some of the outright panic had drained from her features, but her eyes still held a pleading sort of helplessness that went straight to his heart. “I wasn’t going to ask,” she began, letting her gaze drop to the kitten who had climbed into her lap, “but do you think you could stay with me again tonight? I know you didn’t even get last night to yourself, but--”

“Don’t say another word.” He tightened his hold on her, noting how small and fragile she really was, and feeling the now familiar anger push itself forward. “You never, ever have to feel badly about asking me to help you… in any way. Understand?”

She nodded and tilted her face upwards again, a weak smile stretched across her pale features. “I’ll try to remember that, but I reserve the right to always be thankful.”

He smiled back and leaned in to kiss the top of her head. “Agreed. Now, let’s get the kittens and you tucked into bed, and I’ll be in as soon as I’m sure Paul is asleep.”

The Irish angel didn’t waste any time in getting herself ready for bed, and soon she was lying in her bed, the thin sheet feeling like hardly more than air on top of her, and the warm air bringing her ever closer to sleep. Physically she was exhausted, and ready to let dreams overtake her, but her mind was still going over every detail of the evening, trying to remember when she had begun to feel so anxious.

“Sleep comes faster when you actually close your eyes,” Andrew whispered, as he appeared at the foot of the bed. The warm glow that surrounded him brought a feeling of relief and peace to Monica’s heart and she smiled slightly and moved over so that he could sit next to her.

“I was just trying to remember if something happened to make me feel this way… maybe something I saw, or heard, or maybe the Father was talking to me.”

Andrew chuckled a little at that last supposition. “Monica, if He had something to tell you, I don’t think you’d have to be wondering what it was.”

“Yes… I know… I’m just…”

“You’re just trying to make sense of things, but sometimes they don’t make sense. McArthur could be outside right now,” he instantly regretted his words, as her eyes grew wide in terror, but he went on, “or he could be a thousand miles away. It doesn’t make any difference at all, because he’ll never get the chance to hurt you. If I have to stop him with my bare hands, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Monica had moved close to his side, and she had her head resting just above his heart. She could feel the tension in his body as he spoke, and a little chill ran down her spine.

“Andrew,” she spoke very calmly and quietly, never moving her head from its resting place, “I don’t want you doing anything that you will regret later. I don’t want you doing anything that goes against the wonderful angel that you are.”

He knew that she must be sensing the anger within his heart, and he wasn’t even surprised. Their hearts often seemed to beat with one rhythm, and he certainly knew when hers was troubled.

“I can honestly tell you, Angel Girl, that the only thing I could ever regret would be allowing something to happen to you that I could have prevented.”

“But Andrew, I’m just one angel, and angels can’t die, and you said yourself that the Father is watching over me as well.”

“There are no ‘buts’ in this situation, and you are much more than ‘just one angel’ to me, and you know it.” His tone was firm, and she knew better than to continue arguing. “I’m sorry,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “I didn’t tell you all that to give you one more thing to fret over.”

Monica’s eyes were still open and staring off into the darkness as she thought of what to say. “I just don’t like being the reason for you even contemplating such things,” she said slowly.

“You aren’t the reason, Monica. He is. Don’t ever forget that, okay?” He looked down at her and tenderly stroked her hair, hoping to soothe her to sleep.

She didn’t say anymore, and she did allow her eyelids to flutter closed, but she also said a special prayer before she drifted off. She prayed with all her heart that Andrew wouldn’t be anywhere near her when McArthur finally found her.

Monica’s eyes snapped open the second Andrew left her bedroom the following morning, her heart instantly knowing that she was alone once more. Despite his presence last night, sleep had been sporadic at best, and the two angels had several late night conversations, though Andrew had steered their discussions to Tess and to past assignments in order to try to keep her mind off her troubles and the little angel hadn’t had the heart to tell him that the diversion really wasn’t working.

The feelings of foreboding and dread were still with her and as she flung back the sheet, she found her hands to be shaking, though she elected to try to sum it up as being caused by lack of a good night’s sleep. A hot shower stood to make her feel a little more centered and she then spent some of the early morning time playing with the kittens, before deciding to head to the kitchen to see if anyone else was up yet. Though she enjoyed the time with her little charges, being alone was wearing on her and she knew she needed more of a diversion. She only wished she knew where these feelings of doom were coming from, but neither she nor Andrew seemed to have any answers.

As she exited her room, she left the door open, deciding to give the kittens the run of the house for a bit as she loved their natural curiosity. She adored watching them explore all of the little places she took for granted and especially delighted in their desire to attack inanimate objects, with their little tails switching back and forth as they crouched low to the ground, no more than little furballs with seemingly serious agendas.

The little angel smiled slightly at the thought as she walked down the long hallway, but a loud clamoring from the kitchen caused her to stop dead in her tracks as a scream escaped her before she could think about it. Though the noise ceased immediately, her heart felt as if it were in her throat as she pressed her small body up against the wall.

“Monica!” The sound of both Paul and Andrew’s voices had little effect on her as agent and angel bolted down the hallway, having heard her terrified scream.

Andrew’s eyes filled with compassion at the sight of his frightened best friend. Monica was trembling and small beads of sweats had appeared on her forehead and he instantly knew that the feelings from last night were still present. He could see it all too clearly as her breaths came in short panicked gasps.

“Monica, it’s all right,” Paul told her softly, seeing the obvious terror in her eyes. Reaching for her hands, his eyes grew wider as he felt how cold they were, and he held tightly to them, hoping the contact would help to calm her, “I dropped a pan in the kitchen, honey, that’s all.”

“Paul has already made rounds this morning, Monica,” Andrew interjected, longing to pull her close in order to hug away her fears, “Everything is fine,” He stated the last word quietly, yet firmly, wanting her to know that her feelings of McArthur being close were unfounded.

Monica nodded her head shakily, trying to calm herself down in order to get her heart beating at regular intervals once more, “I guess I’m not quite awake yet, “ she explained, trying to force a smile. “The noise just really startled me. I feel so silly…”

“There isn’t any reason to feel that way,” The older angel replied, shaking his head firmly, though he noticed she didn’t even have it in her at the moment to be embarrassed by what had happened and that in itself spoke volumes. When she had the nightmare back when this had all begun, she had been mortified when her scream had sent them running, knowing it was a dream. This time, despite her attempted smile, the raw fear was still in her brown eyes.

Realizing he was still holding onto Monica’s hands, Paul released them slowly and nodded his head in agreement, “Andrew is right. A noise like that this early in the morning would startle anyone, not to mention someone who has been through what you’ve been through.” Seeing she appeared a bit calmer, he smiled at her, “That noise was actually a sign that breakfast is about ready, so I hope you’re hungry.”

Somehow returning his smile, Monica turned to follow him down the hall, feeling Andrew’s eyes on her the entire time. She only hoped that after breakfast and maybe a ride, she would feel more like herself; or at least more like who she had become.

*****

Their late morning ride was cut short by threatening thunderstorms through the valley, sending the threesome galloping back to the ranch before the rains began. Paul had spent a good bit of the ride convincing Monica she was safe and that there was no possible way McArthur had any idea of their location, so the angel had done her best to squelch her anxiety over the situation.

By the time, the horses had been tended to, the winds had picked up considerably as the heavens opened up and rain began to fall furiously, pelting down on them as they began to run back towards the house.

“Looks like we have a bit of trouble,” Paul yelled above the storm as he looked towards the porch. The winds had all but ripped the screen door from its hinges and as they had left the backdoor open to allow the air to circulate through the house, one small black and white kitten was cowering on the porch, having ventured out into the storm.

“The kittens!” Monica cried out in dismay, her worry for them overshadowing all the other feelings she had been dwelling on that morning.

Andrew was quick to scoop up Sam, and as Paul and Monica reached the porch, the little angel immediately spotted Angel and Smokey over on the far side of the porch, as they vocalized their dismay and fear of the rain and thunder with frightened little mews. She rounded them up quickly and deposited them back inside of the house and was further frustrated to only find Whiskers inside after a thorough search.

Hurrying back into the kitchen where Andrew and Paul were trying to fix the screen door, she approached them worriedly, “Lucy is still missing. I’m going to check outside. I won’t be but a minute.”

“Craig is positioned near the stable,” Paul called to her, bolting to secure a wicker table that the wind had sent flying across the porch, “He’ll help you.”

Andrew felt a brief flicker of concern, wondering if he should accompany her, but Paul’s words earlier about her being safe echoed in his head and he knew that his going with her at the moment could have an adverse effect on any feeling of security that Paul had managed to instill in her once more. His eyes followed her briefly as she hurried down the steps and into the pouring down rain, her voice calling out to the kitten, before he returned his attention to the door.

Monica’s long hair stuck to her face and neck as she scoured the area for her missing charge, trying to decide where she would have hidden if she had been caught out in the rain. Immediately deciding that Lucy would have headed for shelter, the angel quickened her pace and slipped inside the stable.

Wiping water from her face, before running a hand through her already dripping hair, she called out for her kitten once more, “Lucy! It’s all right, baby, you can come out.”

Hearing a small mew from the far end of the stable, Monica’s face broke out into a smile as she ran towards the sound and scooped the very wet kitten up in her arms, “I was worried about you, little one,” She informed the cat, kissing the top of her head, before she turned around to head back to the door once again, though she took the time to check the stalls to make sure none of the horses were spooked by the storm.

A scream escaped her throat and was drowned out by the deafening thunder as she came to the third stall, and her blood ran cold while her hold on Lucy tightened. The first thing she saw was the blood before she recognized who it was coming from, and her heart instantly knew that Craig was dead, but as soon as the thought registered in her mind, she felt an arm wrap around her throat and the cold hard feel of steel pressed against her temple.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Inside the house, Andrew kept shooting frequent glances towards the stable as he helped Paul secure the door with a few new screws. He was willing the angel to come running out of the building, kitten tucked against her chest, face beaming with happiness over having found her missing ‘lamb’. Unfortunately that hadn’t happened, and his heart beat faster with every moment that she was absent. He wondered idly if this was the way Monica had felt the previous night. If so, it was no wonder that she had been so shaken up and unable to sleep.

“That should hold it for now,” Paul said as he finished attaching the last screw, throwing the twisted old one into the trash. “Good thing we keep this place stocked for every eventuality,” he joked, closing the lid on the old toolbox which had obviously seen better days, but which held all of the basic house-hold tools.

Andrew looked up, his own smile not quite making it all the way to his eyes. Paul didn’t seem the least bit concerned, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

“I hope she found Lucy alright,” he said, half-hoping that it would spur the agent’s natural protectiveness.

Paul was busy putting the toolbox back under the sink, but he answered, his voice sounding echo-y and distant from within the cupboard. “I’m sure she did. She’s probably sitting on a bale of hay, talking Craig’s ear off right about now.” He shut the cabinet door and leaned back on his heels. “Or vice versa… Craig can be a bit of a talker himself,” he continued.

“Well maybe I’ll take an umbrella out to her. She’s bound to be wet already, but no sense letting her get soaked to the skin,” the blond angel said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Good idea,” Paul agreed, and then glanced down at Andrew’s hip, “and for God’s sake, take your gun. I thought I already told you that you should be wearing it all the time now.”

Andrew was fairly certain that God wouldn’t be affected if he didn’t take his gun, but for some reason, for the first time ever, he actually felt compelled to follow Paul’s order. The weapon had been stored in its belt holster in the kitchen drawer, and he pulled it out, and carefully clipped it onto his belt.

“While you’re out there, could you remind Craig that he said he’d work the late shift tomorrow?” Paul asked. “I’m going to check in and see if anyone back at the farm ended up finding anything. I doubt it, but maybe whoever let the bastard in has admitted it by now.”

The cold metal against her skin felt more like a blow to her stomach as she struggled to continue breathing. Her heart was pounding out of control and she wasn’t sure how she was even still conscious. She felt her body begin to shake and her panicked breaths forced involuntary little sounds from her throat, that sounded nearly like the kittens’ mewling cries. She had no idea what would happen to her if he pulled the trigger at that moment; she could feel that she was still in human form, and although she felt God’s presence with her, she knew that she was not going to be transformed into her angelic self.

“It has been fun, hasn’t it,” he whispered into her ear, his hot breath sending another shiver through her and bringing hot tears into her eyes, “but I suppose that all good things must come to an end, right?”

“Please…” she managed to croak, shaking her head almost imperceptibly.

“Please what?” he answered her. “I think I’ve been quite fair with you.” He moved the gun to trace down the side of her face, and then tapped the top of Lucy’s head with it.

Monica flinched and closed her eyes, hugging Lucy closer and praying that whatever was going to happen wouldn’t take long.

“You know, I had quite a good time with their mother,” his voice was low and filled with venom. “I wanted to do the same to each one of them, but I decided to let you keep them.” He paused and brought the gun back to her temple. “I don’t remember you ever thanking me for that,” he said, pushing the barrel hard against her skin.

The angel’s eyes were open again, staring straight ahead through the tears that filled them. She swallowed hard against the tightness in her throat before speaking. “Thank you,” she whispered, even as her mind flashed back to the terrible images from that other barn.

“That’s better.” He smiled and moved his arm from around her neck.

For a fleeting moment she thought that she might have a chance to break free, but then he was spinning her around and slamming her up against the stall door. She looked away to avoid his cold, depraved stare, but her eyes lit on Craig’s lifeless body and she let out another small cry as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut. A rough hand at her chin and the gun jabbing into her ribs made her open them again and she was forced to stare into those soulless eyes. What frightened her most was that they weren’t filled with hatred for her, or even with anger. They were completely devoid of any expression except pleasure, and she couldn’t comprehend that such a man existed.

“I really wanted to gut you like that cat and then watch while your little bodyguards tried to bring you back to life,” he hissed, tightening his grip on her face while her mind spun off in a hundred directions. “Unfortunately that would take a bit more time and my associate is getting antsy.” His face suddenly changed, becoming almost cheerful. “Anyway, I think it might be more fun to watch your face while I kill the two of them.”

“Nooo, please,” the tears finally escaped her eyes and the anguish in her voice was almost palpable. This was a culmination of her worst fears. Paul was completely vulnerable, and even though she knew that Andrew couldn’t be harmed she was terrified of what he might do, and how it would affect him.

“You don’t seem to understand that you don’t have a choice in what happens here,” McArthur said, eyes raking up and down her small body with disdain. “You couldn’t even save that worthless cat you’re holding if I decided to snap its neck right now.”

Monica felt a stream of anger seep up through her fear. How could this man be so evil? Why would God allow this to happen? She had never before doubted His plan or His wisdom, but faced with such evil she couldn’t help but wonder why he had been created in the first place… and how many others were out there just like him. Then McArthur reached for Lucy’s tiny neck and all thoughts other than terror fled from Monica’s mind as she shrank back against the door, trembling and shaking her head.

“Oh, so you wouldn’t like to see that?” he said, mocking her. “Well how about this? How about I just shoot you through the heart right now and leave? Might hurt for a while before you die, but at least your little heroes won’t end up with extra holes in their heads.”

Her face paled, thinking about the possibilities. She still had no idea how she would survive, but she had long since placed her faith in the Father. She knew at that moment that she would do anything to protect Andrew and Paul, and she nodded her head, choking back her emotions.

“How do I know you won’t stay?” she asked, her voice a thin whisper hardly audible above the raging storm.

“Oh, I always keep my word,” he answered, “and besides, I told you I’m under a pressing deadline. I was actually planning on putting a bullet between your eyes all along, but I just wanted to see the look on your face when I made you choose.” He raised the gun, aiming for her heart, his expression full of the deranged pleasure he got from the look of terror in her wide dark eyes.

“Put the gun down!” Andrew’s voice was strong and clear, cutting through the sounds of the rain pounding on the roof and the wind whipping around the stable. He watched as McArthur slowly turned around, all but dragging the little angel with him as she stumbled around to where he held her in front of him, the barrel of the gun once again pressing against her temple.

The older angel’s heart was pounding in his chest as his eyes met with Monica’s, and what he saw there nearly destroyed him. Beyond the tears, beyond the fear, was something he could barely understand and certainly something he had never expected to see in the brown eyes he knew so well. It was as if something was beginning to detach somewhere in the farthest places in her mind.

He had never seen her look so small and helpless and her face was so white, he was afraid she would lapse into unconsciousness at any given moment and he felt his fingers tighten on the gun in his hand, “I said put it down…now.”

McArthur laughed, the sound chilling Monica clear through to the dark recesses of her soul as her small body continued to tremble with more fear than she had ever felt before. The sight of the gun in Andrew’s hand sent a flurry of emotions through her though she was finding it difficult to focus on any given feeling.

“Andrew…go…just go…” Her voice shook so terribly that her words were scarcely understandable as the tears continued to flood her eyes before falling.

The resignation in her words caused another wave of anger at this man to surge through him. He could clearly see that right now, she was sure of how this was going to end and she didn’t want him here to witness it. McArthur had stolen from him the little angel Monica had been weeks ago, before she had first encountered the violent and deranged mind of this one man who was now standing before him. For the first time in his existence, Andrew found himself wanting to wipe that smirk off McArthur’s face in a way that caused as much pain as he had caused to the angel he loved more than any other.

“Yes, Andrew, just go,” McArthur sneered before emitting another laugh, “Your little friend and I have some unfinished business to attend to and I believe she would prefer that it be a private moment.”

“You have no business laying so much as a finger on her,” Andrew snapped, before trying to get a handle on his emotions once more, as anger erupted through him once again, the overpowering feeling nearly overriding his God given common sense, “Now, let her go and I won’t tell you twice.”

“The way I see it,” He smiled, his gaze dropping to Monica, who had closed her eyes once more, tears clinging to her long lashes, “I’m the one holding the cards right now and therefore the one giving the orders. In fact, my suggestion to you would be for you to drop that gun, though she is taking my bullet either way.”

The whimper and small sob that escaped his best friend caused Andrew’s hand to tighten on his own gun until his fingers turned white. Her terror had wrapped itself around his heart with a grip so forceful, it nearly shook him physically and he knew something needed to happen soon as facing this man and all his evilness was slowly destroying her, “She is innocent in all of this, Doug, and you know that. If you hurt her, you are going down, that much I can promise you.”

“I don’t plan on hurting her,” He replied calmly, though his action of pressing the gun more harshly against her head causing her to cry out, was just the opposite of calm, “I plan on killing her. She can’t testify against me if she’s dead.”

Feelings of desperation began to close in on the blond angel as he struggled with what action to take. For the first time in his existence, he had no doubts that if he could, he would hurt another. But to do that ran the risk of hurting Monica, both physically, as McArthur was using her as a human shield, and emotionally. Yet, how could he stand here and watch this man shoot his friend? He knew God was in control, much more so than he was at the moment, but he could also feel the fragility of Monica’s heart and mind right now. The thread was dangerously close to snapping. She had seen too much and felt too much for an angel of her gentle nature and this hatred was the opposite of all she had ever been shown before. Though she had encountered strong willed humans before, this blatant evil went against everything she had ever believed in and over the past few weeks, it had stripped her of her confidence and faith in people, even as she had fought to hold on to those things.

As she opened her eyes, Andrew felt tears sting his own at the near vacant look that dwelled beneath her tears and his heart whispered to her urgently, “Hold on, baby. Stay with me.” But his words to her were met with silence for the first time as she only closed her eyes once more, as if trying to block out that this was even happening. She had no coping mechanisms left and she seemed to only want a resolution, no matter what it might be and that truth terrified him.

“Let her go.” He repeated shakily, though he knew McArthur had no intention of doing so.

“Say good-night, Monica,” McArthur whispered into her ear as his finger began to pull back on the trigger, and he smiled at the soft cries that were escaping her.

The shot rang out and it was deafening as the smell of smoke and gun powder filled the stable and the cry that escaped Andrew’s lips joined the echo of the gun shot as McArthur fell, his body lurching forward against the little angel. Lucy bolted from her arms, the din frightening the little cat, just as the dead weight of the man landed on Monica, who with cries escaping her, as she felt the warm flow of another man’s blood upon her, found it in herself to crawl free, before she all but collapsed against the dirt floor.

As Paul watched the man fall to the floor it was as if something within his soul released. He watched Monica crawling away, and in his heart he could see Lauren, could see his failure finally made right. He hadn’t been able to save her, but he had at least saved Monica. He took a deep breath and unclenched his jaw, forcing his hands to relax their death-grip on the gun.

Andrew felt his heart finally begin to slow down as the wave of shock passed over him and he found himself staring ahead, gun still in hand, now aimed at Paul who was standing in a similar position at the other end of the aisle. The agent was the first to move, holstering his gun, and quickly moving forward. Andrew had to give himself a little shake before he could fully understand what had just taken place. His arm fell limply to his side, gun barely held between his fingers.

The only words in his mind were ‘Thank you, God’ and then he realized that he was thanking God for the death of one of His children. The conflict that rose up within his heart was something that he knew would not easily be resolved, but at the moment he had far more important things to attend to.

Monica was huddled on the floor, her eyes pinned to the lifeless man lying beside her. Andrew saw the horror and desperation in her eyes as he carefully stepped closer. When she turned them up to meet his gaze, a pain tore through his heart and he knew that it was coming straight from hers. He knelt down beside her and fished a handkerchief he didn’t even know he had out of his pocket, using it to wipe away the blood that had splattered on her pale cheek.

“You’re alright… everything’s going to be alright,” he murmured, so grateful that he could at last see an end to this assignment although in his heart he knew that it wasn’t over. He closed his eyes, wondering how long it would take to get back the angel he cared so much about.

“No,” she whispered, barely acknowledging him. “He’s not... he’s not gone,” she kept repeating, unable to believe what her eyes were telling her.

Paul gingerly stepped over McArthur’s body and reached down to feel for a pulse though he knew what he would find. “Yes he is, Monica,” he reassured her. “He’s dead. He can’t hurt you now.” As he moved closer he saw Craig’s body inside the stall and flinched, closing his eyes at yet another innocent life lost and knowing that the killer had probably used it to torment the woman before him.

“Andrew,” she said piteously, “I can’t do this… I can’t…”

Both he and Paul were becoming increasingly concerned and they feared she was going into shock. “Look at me,” Andrew said. “Please try to calm down. You need to calm down.”

He pulled her close, despite the fact that Paul was standing right over them. He could feel her heart pounding within her chest, and her quick breaths were more like gasps, laced with tears and hardly enough to bring air into her body. Lucy clambered into her lap, seeming to sense her distress, and started licking at her fingertips. That was the first thing to pull the little angel out of her trance-like state, and she finally broke down, sobbing against Andrew’s shoulder, and clutching the kitten with one hand as if her very life depended on it.

“Oh, Father, please, please, let me come Home,” she cried. “Please don’t make me stay here any longer… I can’t… I’m so tired…”

If Paul was bewildered by Monica’s words, he chose to conceal it. However, when she abruptly pushed away from Andrew, her face taking on a completely different expression, he couldn’t help but step closer, his own expression one of complete confusion.

Andrew, meanwhile, didn’t appear confused at all, merely resigned. He knew that Monica had her answer. It pained him to let her go, but he knew that she needed comfort that even he couldn’t provide.

“He says I can go Home,” her voice was filled with awe. “Tess is waiting for me.”

Andrew glanced at Paul and then back to Monica, unsure of how Paul would respond, but knowing that there was nothing he could do about it. “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said.

Her eyes grew wide as if she suddenly realized that Andrew would not be going with her. “Come now,” she pleaded, unwilling to let go of his hand.

“Angel, you know I can’t.” He hated being the cause of more tears, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Go on, now. Go to Him.”

She nodded slowly, and then looked at Paul, wishing that she had the words to give him that would explain everything, but she was beyond words. She simply gave him a tearful smile and then closed her eyes. A moment later she was gone, along with the little kitten she had been holding close to her chest.

Chapter Thirty

“What the hell just happened?” Paul exclaimed, rushing over to where Monica had been sitting.

His mind couldn’t accept the fact that she had just disappeared, and it was equally confusing to realize that somehow Andrew knew more about what was going on then he did. He looked inside the stall where Craig’s body lay, and then back out at McArthur, and finally back at Andrew.

“I asked you a question!” he shouted. “What is going on here?”

Andrew stood up and stretched a placating hand towards the man, hoping to calm him down. “I don’t know if you’re really prepared to hear this, Paul, but God thinks that you are, and He certainly knows better than I.”

“God?” the skepticism in his voice was evident and he took a step back. “What do you mean, God? What are you talking about?”

“Paul,” he said calmly, “I am an angel, sent down here by God.” As soon as he said the words he felt the love of the Father working through him, His light encompassing both angel and man.

“You’re what?” Paul was still in shock and his eyes narrowed, no longer trusting what he saw but somehow knowing that it was real.

“I’m an angel, and so is Monica. She was on another assignment when she saw McArthur murder Josh. All along she wondered why she was still called to remain here, but she knew in her heart that she was the only person who could bring him to justice. I don’t think that this was what she envisioned, but God’s plan is known only to Him.”

Paul was reeling as he tried to take everything in. His partner was an angel… Monica was an angel… … and he had spent the last month falling in love with her. “Oh my God,” he gasped, wondering if there was a special place in hell reserved for those who hit on angels. “And she…”

Andrew knew exactly what Paul was thinking and cut him off before he could say another word. “She cares very deeply for you. There’s no shame in what you felt for her. In fact, knowing her the way I do, I think it’s pretty natural.” It seemed so strange to be smiling in a place that was still draped in the cloud of horror and death, but he couldn’t help it.

“And now you’ll be leaving too,” Paul said, woodenly.

“Yes. I’ll be needed elsewhere, and Monica will need me as well.” Andrew said, “but this has been about more than McArthur and Monica,” he continued. “This has been about you as well. It’s been about you being able to move on past the grief and bitterness that have held you for the past five years.”

“Yeah, move on to the arms of an angel,” Paul said self-deprecatingly.

“Paul, the important thing is that you were able to feel something again. Maybe that’s why Monica was sent in the first place. God loves you, Paul, and he doesn’t want you to spend your life alone. He wants you to be able to find love again and be happy. Believe me, Lauren doesn’t blame you for what happened to her, and she is with the Father now, and beyond any thoughts of pain or fear.”

“She’s happy there?” Paul asked hesitantly.

“Very happy, Paul, and she thinks of you often and she hears you whenever you think of her.”

The agent was silent for a moment, a million questions filling his mind as he tried to come to terms with what he was being told. It all seemed so far fetched, though there was no denying that his partner was lit up like a Christmas tree, “Monica…will she be all right?”

Andrew took a deep breath and let it out slowly, struggling with that question himself, “I hope so, Paul.”

“You sound uncertain. If she’s an angel…”

“You spent a great deal of time with her, Paul, and her caring and gentle nature was one of the reasons you fell in love with her in the first place. What she went through here went against everything she had ever believed.” Sadly his eyes rested briefly on Craig and then McArthur before speaking again. “She’s never seen this kind of violence and she has never had anyone want to hurt her before and unfortunately, and at least for the time being, these things have damaged who she is,” He frowned slightly, feeling as if he could better explain his friend as he delved deeper into the little angel’s psyche, “Monica could always take any human, no matter how terrible they may seem, and find the good that was hidden inside of them. It’s one of her gifts, Paul, and this time, she was unable to do that and what at first broke her heart, later terrified her. She saw too many things she was unable to comprehend.”

Paul nodded his head in understanding, wishing he could have done more to spare her from all she had seen over the past few weeks, “You know, now that I know the truth, I think that on some level, I’ve always known what she was. She’s different from anyone I’d ever met before.”

Andrew smiled as he shook his head slightly, “That goes for me as well, Paul. She’s really very special, but then again, God knew that when He created her.”

“So, this is it, I guess,” The agent muttered, his eyes staring down at the ground, “I won’t see her or you again.”

“I don’t know what the Father has planned,” Andrew admitted, watching as the agent raised his eyes once more, “but what I do know is that He loves you, Paul, and He and I both want to thank you for helping to protect one of His angels.”

“I believe that pleasure was all mine…I just wish we had met under better circumstances,” Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he managed a smile, “Will you tell her good-bye for me?”

“Of course. She cares about you very much, Paul, and one of her thoughts today, despite her own fear, was to keep you safe,” Andrew elected not to state that her other thought had been to keep him safe as well. He was still wrestling with that one as well as with some things he had discovered about himself. But for the moment, he pushed those thoughts away, unable to shake the feeling that Monica needed him.

Sensing the fact that Andrew was about to leave, Paul nodded his head, as if giving his consent. He could now so clearly see the connection between the two angels and now understood why it always seemed like it was Andrew’s arms Monica had fallen into. It was suddenly incredibly obvious how close the two of them were and the agent was glad that Andrew had been permitted to stay with her through this ordeal.

“Tell God I said ‘thanks’,” Paul offered, a small sheepish grin on his face.

Andrew returned the smile as he shook his head, “You can tell Him that one yourself.”

As soon as the words had been said, the angel who had been his partner vanished from the stable and Paul closed his eyes for a moment, offering up his own prayer of gratitude at having had the privilege of keeping angelic company for the last few weeks. He felt a new feeling fill his heart; one of peace that he could not recall the last time he had felt.

Slowly, he walked back to the house, knowing he still had a job to do and calls to make. But the agent was greeted at the door by four small furry bundles, who seemed to be looking at him questioningly, as if to ask what had become of their mother and sister.

Unable to hold back a chuckle, he shook his head as he scooped up the one Monica had named Angel and heard the contented purr that she emitted as soon as he held her close, “I guess the only question now is where am I going to keep four kittens.” He had already made the decision to keep them as it didn’t feel right to give them away…and of course there was always the hope that Monica would turn up again one day for a visit, “Lets go and find you guys some food, okay? Then I’ll take care of business.”

Still carrying Angel, and with Smokey, Sam and Whiskers scampering along at his feet, he walked into what had been Monica’s room. Filling the food dishes for them, he watched as they hungrily ate and as he stood back up, his eyes came to rest on the nightstand and he smiled. The décor was now missing one cat and kittens figurine.

*****

Tess watched with concern as Monica stood out on the deck, standing more still then the older angel could ever recall seeing her, though she could clearly sense the aura of sadness and grief that surrounded her young charge.

Monica had been brought immediately to the Father’s arms upon leaving the stable and at that moment peace had seemed to wash over her. But now, after a tearful reunion, the two angels had been sent back down to earth to a place selected by God, and she had seemed to withdraw into herself. The Irish angel seemed to be fighting demons that Tess could not see and the supervisor had decided to give Monica a little space as that was something that had been lacking in her existence the last few weeks.

“Hi, Tess.”

Tess turned around and smiled at Andrew, not missing the relief combined with sadness that was apparent in his greeting, “Its good to see you, baby,” She replied, hugging him tightly to herself for a few moments before reluctantly releasing him, “Are you all right, Angel Boy?”

“I think I will be,” he replied, his eyes turning to his best friend. “How is she?”

The older angel sighed and shook her head, “Only the Father knows, Andrew. What I know is that is not the same angel I visited a few weeks ago.”

“I know,” He sighed softly, his heart still feeling the turmoil in hers, “Let me go and try to talk to her.”

“I was hoping you’d say that, baby. I can’t deny that I’m worried about her as this assignment hit her hard.”

He laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder before he felt a gentle brush up against his leg and he smiled down at Lucy, “Are you going to let her keep the kitten?” His voice held a twinge of hope, knowing Tess’ position on animals.

“Of course I’m going to let her keep it,” Tess replied, as if there had never been any question about it and she hid a smile at the amusement in Andrew’s eyes.

He squeezed her shoulder before he opened the door and stepped out into the warm evening air. The area around the lake had come to life with the setting of the sun as the crickets sang and fireflies lit the air, but he didn’t take much time to notice those things as he approached his friend and gently wrapped his arms around her as he stood behind her.

Instinctively knowing who it was, Monica leaned back into the embrace as a small sob escaped her and she felt his arms tighten around her, “Is Paul okay?”

“Paul will be just fine, angel,” He told her firmly, kissing the top of her head, “He told me to tell you ‘good-bye’.” She nodded her head as she fell silent, but he was quick to break the quiet once more, “Talk to me, Monica. What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”

Reaching up, she linked her fingers through his, feeling a bit of relief at being able to do so without worrying about being discovered, “I’m different, Andrew. I’m not the same anymore…and…I’m afraid to be down here now…”

He tightened his hold on her and closed his eyes, able to feel her apprehension keeping her body so tense it was almost rigid. "Angel, you're safe here. You don't need to worry about anything. McArthur is gone, and you don't have to think about him ever again," he said, knowing that his words couldn't possibly take away the thoughts that still plagued her.

"I can't help it," she whispered. "It's as though I still expect him to appear out of thin air, and even though I know that can't happen, I keep thinking about how many other people out there are just like him."

He wanted to tell her that she was wrong. He wanted to make her forget everything that had happened and leave her with only the thoughts and memories of hope and inspiration. He sighed and looked upwards, praying to find the right words.

"Monica, I can't tell you that there aren't other evil people out there. That would be a lie, because they do exist, and I just wish that you had never had to find that out… at least not this way."

She turned in his arms and pressed her face against his chest. She didn't have any tears left but her voice was still choked with emotion. "I wish that too," she said. "I knew… I always knew… but I never believed… and now I can't go back… I can't go back to pretending and I don't know how to go forward."

Her words chilled his soul and even though McArthur was dead he still felt anger towards the man. "It will take time, but it will happen, and Tess and I will be right beside you the whole time."

"I just don't know how I can go on to my next assignment with all these feelings in my heart. I just want to go Home again. I want to stay there." Her last words were barely a whisper, and she almost hesitated to say them.

"That's how you feel right now, but those feelings will fade eventually," Andrew promised. "The Father knows you, Monica. He knows you inside and out, and He wouldn't have sent you here to heal if He didn't know that it was the best thing for you."

"The whole time I was there… going from place to place… I just prayed for it to end. I prayed to be able to leave and have my freedom back. It's over now, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like it will never be over."

Andrew longed to keep repeating that it would get better and that she would feel like herself again, but the words wouldn't come. They seemed so inadequate. How could he tell her that things would get better when he could only half-imagine the pain her heart and soul were in? Instead he simply held her close and ran his fingers through her hair, letting his eyes drift closed as he concentrated only on bringing her whatever comfort he could.

Epilogue

Paul rubbed his eyes tiredly as he hung up the telephone, knowing he had one more call to make. The Medical Examiner had come and gone, taking the bodies of McArthur and Craig to the morgue and the agent shook his head once more. He was sure that Craig’s family was by now being notified, and it pained him to know that a good man had died at the hands of a deranged lunatic.

A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as Sam leapt up on the desk, giving out a soft “mew” as he precariously stepped around the keyboard of the computer, but clearly demanded attention. Paul knew that already the kittens had adopted him as their new foster mother, seeming to know that Monica was now gone and he found himself surprisingly content with that fact. He had never been much of an animal person, other than loving a good ride on the farm, but these four kittens were special, and he knew it.

Giving the kitten a stroke, Paul then picked up the phone and dialed the number of the agency, asking to be patched through to the director in order to give him the news that the case was solved. He waited patiently, trying to finish typing up his report by maneuvering around Sam.

“Paul?” Mike Deatrich’s voice came over the line at long last, “What have you got for me?”

“McArthur is dead, Mike,” The agent related unable to keep the relief from his voice at finally being able to say those words, “I’ve already sent our witness on her way as without McArthur, there is no trial.”

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line for a moment, before Mike’s voice came through once more and Paul could hear the strain that was present in it, but he knew his friend and long time colleague had been feeling the stress of Douglas McArthur as much as they had been.

“Good job, Paul. He’s been on our list for a long time and the world will now be a much safer place without him. Is your witness all right?”

“Monica will be fine,” Paul replied, hoping that his words were true. He wanted to trust that just the simple fact that she was an angel would allow her to heal from her ordeal, but he couldn’t disregard Andrew’s concern for the little angel either, “I’m going to take a few days off.”

“You deserve them,” Mike replied, though Paul could tell that it sounded as if his friend had other things on his mind at the moment, “Let’s get together for drinks next week.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Paul told him, before another thought struck him, “Mike, listen. I think we have a real problem. Someone within the agency is leaking information as there is no possible way that McArthur could have tracked us to the ranch, especially not as quickly as he did. I think this is something we need to discuss.”

“Next week, buddy, but you’re right. This sounds as if it could be a real issue. Paul, I need to run to a meeting, but call me at the top of the week and we’ll set a time and place.”

Hanging up the telephone, Mike Deatrich shook his head in frustration, knowing only one thing for certain. There was no way in hell that Paul could find out about how McArthur had known where his witness had been and Mike unfortunately also knew that he would do everything in his power, regardless of what that entailed, to make sure he never did.

*****

When Monica woke the next morning, she was not at all surprised to see Andrew dozing in the chair beside her bed, but she was extremely grateful. She rolled over onto her side to face him fully and propped her head up on her hand. He had been so good to her and she didn’t know how she would ever be able to express just how thankful she was.

Both of her angelic friends had been wonderful the night before. Tess had cooked a lovely but simple meal, knowing that the Irish angel probably wouldn’t be up to eating much. Then the three of them had spread a blanket outside and just enjoyed being together again. The blanket had been Monica’s idea as she couldn’t seem to bear being shut inside anymore. Her weeks of confinement had made her all the more appreciative of the miracle of God’s creation and she didn’t want to waste any time enclosed within four walls when all of nature was surrounding them.

She had been very quiet, and she had recognized that Andrew and Tess filled in with idle chatter at times, and more serious comments at others, all aimed towards making her feel more comfortable. Her heart had felt so full with love for them and for the Father that it seemed impossible for anything else to touch it, but she couldn’t deny that there was more. Sometimes it was only a shadow at the very edges of her soul, and then there were moments when it passed over her like a wave, rushing past but leaving her breathless, and her heart pounding. She could hardly define it except as a horrible mix of the doubt and fear and even anger that had alternately consumed her during her ordeal.

When it had finally grown so late that they had to go inside to sleep Andrew had automatically gone to her room after all the lights were off. Monica had insisted that he didn’t need to stay with her, that he deserved a night of uninterrupted sleep, but now here he was, with the rising sun illuminating his handsome features, and her eyes shining like stars as she looked at him. He had obviously snuck back in during the night, and she was sure that his presence was the only thing that had allowed her to sleep peacefully.

He seemed to sense her watching him and his eyes slowly opened, their green depths taking in his surroundings. A peace fell over him as he remembered that they were safe in God’s hands and that the terrible assignment was over, and then his eyes settled on the little angel in front of him as a little grin spread across his features.

“I thought I told you that you didn’t need to stay,” she said, but her voice and face conveyed her gratitude.

“What can I say? Old habits die hard,” he joked lightly, and then moved to sit beside her on the bed. “I just wanted to be here in case you needed me.”

“I always need you,” she replied, “and I wish I had the words to tell you how much… and how much I love you.”

“You don’t need any words, Angel. Remember?” He tapped his heart. “I can feel it right in here.”

She nodded and he pulled her close, feeling like he couldn’t hug her enough. It was so nice to be able to do so without wondering who might be watching.

“You slept better last night,” he said. “No nightmares.”

“No nightmares,” she confirmed, “but I think that you being here helped.”

“Maybe so, but don’t forget the healing power of time and God’s love.”

She lowered her eyes, feeling suddenly unworthy, knowing that she still wasn’t feeling herself, and not knowing if she ever would. Andrew saw immediately what was going on in her head and lifted her chin gently.

“It’s not going to happen all in one day, sweetie… or even one week… but it will happen. It will.”

Monica felt the touch of God’s love in her heart at that moment, echoing Andrew’s words, and a very tiny smile sprang unbidden to her lips. “I know it will,” she said.

“And we’ll be with you the whole time.”

She nodded her head, her eyes clouding briefly before clearing, “I’m counting on that, you know.”

“You can always count on me, angel…always,” Andrew whispered, before tugging her back into his arms.

A peaceful silence surrounded them as Monica snuggled closer and closed her eyes, wondering if she would ever again feel safe in this world, other than when his arms were around her.