Chapter Sixteen

Monica was roused from her sleep by a knocking at the door and she wearily sat up on the bed and rubbed her eyes. Where usually she would have just bid her guest to enter, this time she got up and opened the door as she saw Paul standing there, his hands laden with shopping bags. Though her dark eyes glimpsed his face, she elected not to meet his eyes.

“Special delivery,” Paul announced, managing a smile as he held up the bags, “I hope you find everything to your liking.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” She replied, moving to take them from him, but he was not so easily swayed.

He could tell that her intention seemed to be to get him in and out as quickly as she could, but he chose to not release his hold on the bags as he moved past her to lay them down on the bed where the kittens were sleeping. One tiny head shot up and sleepy eyes looked at him as he ran a finger over the small head, “There should be plenty of items for your little friends in one of those bags as well, Monica.”

“Thank you,” Her eyes moved to the kittens as she never left her position at the door, “I hope it wasn’t too much trouble for your friend.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course it wasn’t,” Paul assured her as he turned to face her once more, feeling like there was more he needed to say, “Listen, I’m sorry things worked out the way they did. When I planned the trip into town, the last thing I wanted was for him to find you-.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Monica stated, a trace of sadness lingering in her voice, “Yesterday was wonderful, but it just caused a bit of inconvenience for today, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” Paul looked at her incredulously, wondering if this was the same woman he had been with yesterday, “Is that what you consider this? An ‘inconvenience’?” When she didn’t respond, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair and managed to keep his voice more steady, “That isn’t the word I would have chosen, Monica, and if you are thinking that you are the inconvenience, then you need to rethink things. This is my job and I choose to do it and I try to do it well. I hate the fact that something took away your security net, as that means I failed, but it won’t happen again. But despite the fact that you are my assignment, I like you and have enjoyed your company and though I don’t know you all that well, I think I know enough to say that what you are doing right now isn’t going to help anyone, yourself included.”

“I’m doing what I have to do, Paul. Nothing more,” She replied tensely, just wishing he would leave.

“What you are doing is exactly what he wants you to do, Monica,” The agent replied his anger at the killer getting in the way, “He wants you to feel vulnerable and afraid to the point that you shut down and you’re making his job increasingly simple for him at the moment. He’s instilled things in you that you’ve never felt before and that scares the living daylights out of you, but instead of dealing with how he’s made you feel, you’re not allowing yourself to feel anything-.”

“That’s enough, Paul.”

At the sound of Andrew’s voice, Paul turned his head, a mixture of surprise and annoyance now on his face, “I’m not finished yet-.”

“I think you’ve said enough,” The blond angel replied evenly, casting a glance at Monica as if to prove his point.

Paul could clearly see that the color had drained from her cheeks at his words and he cursed himself for being so harsh with her once more, “I’m sorry, Monica,” He muttered, angry enough at himself now to not feel as if he could face her, “Excuse me.”

As the agent left the room, the little angel slowly walked over to the bed, aware of Andrew’s eyes upon her, and shakily sat down, her focus on the floor. It wasn’t so much Paul’s words that had upset her, but more the fact of how close to the mark he was.

Andrew approached her slowly and carefully as he took a seat on the bed next to her, his heart hurting once more at her expression, which for the first time in so many years of knowing her, was unreadable. He knew that Paul had been speaking the truth, but one look at her had told him that the agent was upsetting her and that was something he was unwilling to allow. Though Paul’s words had been correct, his tone had been too harsh and abrupt for the fragile little angel. Andrew also knew that Paul had said what he had because he cared about Monica, but she was unaware of the depth of that caring. She had already been hit from one direction today and breaking down walls with a sledgehammer was by far not the best approach in this situation.

“He’s right, you know,” Her whisper broke the silence.

“Yes, he is,” The angel replied, longing to wrap her up in the safety of his arms, but forcing himself to hold back.

Monica’s fingers worked nervously against the edge of the bed as she fell silent for another brief moment, “I don’t know how to handle this…”

“Then let me help, and let God help,” He urged as gently as he could, though he saw her flinch.

“I don’t know how…” Her words were barely audible to him, but he could sense her desperation.

“You could start by not shutting me out, angel, “ With trepidation, he reached for her hand, relieved when she didn’t pull away, and concerned when she clutched it so tightly, her knuckles turned white, “All this fear; all this emotion, Monica, it has to have an outlet.”

“I’m scared.” She whispered, her gaze still fixated on the floor.

“You’re an angel and God will take care of you, as will Paul and I,” He was desperate to reassure her but the fearful expression was still on her face.

“He wants to hurt me…what he did to the cat…” Her eyes damp with tears, she closed them tightly.

"Shhh… don't think about it, Monica… please," Andrew consoled her, finally wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her tight against his chest.

"I can't think about anything else!" she protested. "She wasn't even nice to us, but to see her… a poor animal… with her wee babies right there… and the wall…" she broke into helpless sobs.

Andrew rubbed her back and let her cry, knowing that trying to calm her down would do no good, and actually relieved that she was at least getting it all out. "I know," he murmured over and over again, his voice low and soothing.

He was somewhat startled when the Irish angel suddenly pulled away, wiping angrily at the tears on her face. His questioning eyes sought out hers and were disappointed by the hardness he saw in her normally deep and soulful eyes.

"This is exactly what I didn't want to do," she claimed, running the back of her hand under each eye. "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel this way, and I definitely don't want you and Paul to see me this way."

"Angel Girl, you can't change how you feel, and closing yourself off from the people who care about you only hurts everyone involved. Your emotions are one of the things I love about you… they are part of what makes you the perfect angel God created you to be…"

"Well He can have them back then," she choked out. "I don't want them any more."

Andrew closed his eyes, trying to think of the words that would make her see the truth. Those words had always been hers, spoken to those in need, and searching for the ones to say to her seemed an impossible task.

"Monica," he said softly, looking into her eyes once more, "you said that you didn't know how to handle this, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to handle it alone. You may think that if you pretend everything is okay and that nothing bothers you, then that will make it so, but I think you know the world well enough to know that isn't true."

She shook her head, turning her face to the floor, her nervous fingers picking at the quilt on the bed. "But I don't…"

Andrew interrupted her. "You just told me that everything Paul said was right. Are you going to sit there now and say it wasn't?"

"No," she whispered.

"Then who do you think you are helping by pulling away?"

"Myself," she said, and then, looking up at him through dark lashes still wet with tears, she whispered, almost below his hearing, "and you."

He had been leaning forward to hear her, but at that single word he sat up and let out a breath, something close to shock coloring his expression. "Me?" he said in disbelief. "What? Monica…"

"I know how it hurts you to see me this way. I know you want to make it all go away, and you can't. I know that you can feel what I'm feeling half the time… and I don't want you to. It's bad enough it has to touch me… I don't…"

This time it was Andrew's eyes that turned hard as he quickly prayed that McArthur never come within his sight for fear of what he would do to the man. He softened his gaze before pulling Monica's exhausted body close.

"Angel, don't you know how much more it hurts me to have you keep things from me? I feel empty inside when I can't sense you there. I know that it's probably selfish of me, but I want to be the one to help you when you need it. I don't consider it a chore, I consider it an honor."

She looked at his face, seeing the sincerity and truth in his eyes, but still she asked, "Really?"

"Really. I told you weeks ago that there's no where else I'd rather be, than right beside you."

She moved her head to his chest, listening to the beat of his heart, and feeling her own echo the pattern. "I just wish I knew what to do," she said after a time.

Andrew looked down and then kissed the top of her head. "Well, as a matter of fact, I happen to have an idea about that."

"You do?" she said hopefully.

"Yes. I think it's time you talked to the Father, and shared some of this with Him." He was distressed but not totally surprised when her eyes clouded over and she nestled her head back against chest.

"I want to," she said quietly, "But I don't know…"

"Monica, I'm not going to force you. It's just something to think about. You'll know when the time is right for you… just remember that His heart is always open to you, and so is mine."

The Irish angel held tightly to him, allowing herself to feel the comfort he could provide. "I know."

Monica had elected to stay in Andrew’s arms for a long time, trying to draw strength from him, before she finally left her safe haven to go in search of Paul. She wandered slowly down the stairs and followed one of the few bursts of light that was coming from the study. The little angel hesitated at the door, feeling badly as she saw him sat at the desk, elbows propped on it and his head resting in his hands. It was obvious he had been trying to work, perhaps checking out any leads at the farm, but that his thoughts had strayed.

“Paul?” Quietly, she approached him, watching as he raised his head to look over at her.

“Monica, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean-.”

Silencing him, she held her fingers to his lips until he had stopped talking, before she withdrew them, “You have nothing to be sorry for. The things you said up there were true; I just didn’t want to hear them at the time.”

Watching as she took a seat on the small love sofa across from him, he turned in his chair to face her, “But I had no right to present it as I did, honey. That wasn’t what you needed.”

She was quiet for a moment as she met his eyes with her own, “None of this is your fault. The only one to blame is the free will of this man. I’m just grateful you reacted so quickly and got me out of there before he could really find me.”

“I would do anything within my power, Monica, to keep you safe,” He replied softly, “We never should have gone into town yesterday.”

“Yes, we should have,” She argued gently, with a nod of her head, “You can’t take a good memory and decide it is wrong because something bad happened because of it. Yesterday was wonderful and I treasured every moment of it. I felt safe and free and like me again, so how can that be bad?”

“When you say it that way, it can’t be,” Paul replied, a small grin on his face, relieved when she returned it with one of her own, “So I take it we are still friends?”

“Absolutely,” She smiled, as she rose to her feet, “I’m going to turn in early as I’m pretty tired.”

“Do you want me to show you how the security system works down here?” Paul questioned, as he too stood up and stretched, feeling better now that he knew she was. He noticed the weary look in and around her eyes and he shook his head, “It can wait till morning. Just make sure you don’t come downstairs tonight or before Andrew or I are awake in the morning or you’ll set it off. Not sure if my heart could take another false alarm,” He winked at her, delighted when she laughed.

“Good night, Paul,” She said softly as she prepared to leave, but the agent caught her arm and pulled her into a warm hug.

“I’m glad you are doing a bit better,” He whispered softly to her as he slowly released her, “Now, go and get some sleep. You look wiped out.”

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Monica replied as she slowly headed up the stairs, shaking off the very odd feeling she had just gotten.

*****

After the little angel had found a pair of pajamas in the clothing that had been purchased for her and had changed into them, exhaustion won out for several hours. Today had exhausted her emotionally and physically, there was the three hour time difference between the farm and the new safehouse, that had allowed her fall asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

She had tended to her little kitten family, setting them up and delighting in the fact that the agent had even gotten some toys for them to play with, as well as a rather large basket for them to sleep in to replace the box. So after being fed and tired out from play, they lay sprawled on top of each other, fast asleep.

All was peaceful when she suddenly opened her eyes and found a pair of malicious eyes staring back at her and terror filled her heart and mind as she shrank back, “Please…”

“It will only hurt for a moment, remember?” He grinned at her, as her eyes caught a glimpse of the shiny object in his hand, “You thought what I did to the cat was bad?”

Frozen in fear, her dark eyes pleaded with him, “Don’t…please don’t….”

“It’s hunting season…”….

Monica jerked awake and bolted up in her bed, her heart racing so quickly it felt as if it would pound right out of her chest, as her breaths came in short gasps. Her frantic eyes searched the room, but she was alone…alone.

An instant later, Andrew was at her side and she flung herself into his arms, “Where were you?” She whispered, her voice laden with fear.

“Paul was still awake…Angel, you’re trembling,” He held her tightly in his arms, waiting for her to calm down, “It was just a dream, honey, just a terrible dream. You’re all right and I’m here.”

“Don’t leave me,” She uttered tearfully.

“Never,” He assured her, trying to stop the anger from forming in his heart once more as he said a silent prayer for peace. He was afraid that if he couldn’t find it, his anger could very well turn to hate for one who had caused someone he loved such pain, “I’m right here, Angel Girl. Sleep. I’ve got you,” His hand tenderly ran through her hair as he felt her begin to calm as she drifted off to sleep.

But instead of returning her to her pillow, he continued to hold her, afraid that if he let her go, somehow her nightmares would come true.

Chapter Seventeen

Morning had arrived and Paul's footsteps outside the door woke Andrew from his restless slumber. The Irish angel was still cradled in his arms and he cast a somewhat panicked look at the door. Explaining their position would be rather difficult to do, and he really didn't think that Monica needed the additional stress. Thankfully, he felt a familiar warmth surround them both, and quickly set her down on the bed, pulling the covers up to her shoulders before disappearing just as the door opened.

The agent only opened the door a crack, just wanting to check on her before going downstairs to start breakfast. She appeared to be sleeping peaceful and he was grateful for that small mercy. He stepped back into the hall, quietly shutting the door as he went. A door down the hall opened, and Andrew emerged, hair unkempt and eyelids still at half-mast.

"Is she still sleeping?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, and more soundly than I expected, although I suppose yesterday was enough to knock anyone out," he gave a grim smile.

They moved to go downstairs and Paul turned to the blond angel. "Thanks, by the way," he said as he keyed in the code for the alarm system.

Andrew looked at him quizzically, not quite sure what he was referring to.

"Whatever you said to her seemed to work," he explained. "I don't know what I was thinking talking to her the way I did." His eyes moved to the floor. "I guess my mouth got ahead of my brain. I just couldn't stand seeing her like that… not feeling the way--"

"Hey, what you said was right," Andrew interrupted, unwilling to hear Paul elaborate on his feelings for the little angel. "You just said it a little too loudly," he smiled at his own joke and was relieved when Paul let it go at that.

"In that case," the agent said with a chuckle, "thanks for toning it down for me."

"Did you hear anything else last night?" Andrew asked as they approached the kitchen. He was hopeful that perhaps there had been some lead, or a clue as to how McArthur had managed to find them; anything that could bring the assignment to a speedier end.

"Nothing," Paul's mouth turned down in a scowl. "The guy's good, I'll give him that. He knows what's on the line and he's not about to make any careless mistakes. I hate to say it, but our best bet is that he'll track us down again and try something here."

The angel looked at him, eyebrows raised. "What? I know we haven't been partners for long, but that doesn't really sound like your style."

"It isn't, but we're a lot more secure here. If he so much as shows his face our guys'll be all over him."

Andrew didn't look so sure. "You're talking about turning Monica into a sitting duck," he stated plainly.

Paul looked at him with understanding. "I don't like it any more than you do," he said. "In fact, I think I probably like it less."

The subtle reference to his feelings for the Irish angel did not go unnoticed, and Andrew felt the muscle in his jaw tighten. "Let's just say I'm hoping that they catch the guy before he gets anywhere near this house," he said.

Paul nodded his head. "Agreed, but let's not lose sight of the possibilities."

Andrew didn't bother to reply. There was certainly no way he would be losing sight of anything, including Monica.

*****

Monica's eyes blinked open lazily, then focused on the view out her window. She half expected to see the barn, with the rolling fields spreading out beyond it, but those things were gone. She let out a dejected sigh, unaware that she had even been holding it.

"How many more places am I going to have to say good-bye to before I can go Home?" she whispered.

"I'm not sure, baby, but the Father will be with you at every one of them."

Monica rolled over, her face showing the amazement she felt. "Tess?" she cried out softly.

"That's right, Angel Girl," the older angel said, her smile spreading across her face. "The Father thought that you might like a little visit."

The little angel flew out of her bed and all but flung herself into her supervisor's arms. "He was right," she said, "as always."

Tess hugged her young charge tightly, having heard from the Father all that had occurred and anxious to discuss these things with the little angel to find out how she was really doing, “It’s so very good to see you, baby.”

“I’ve missed you,” Monica whispered, happy tears shining in her eyes as she felt her supervisor finally pull away from the hug to hold her at arm’s length, searching her eyes as if looking for something.

“So how are you, Angel Girl? I want the truth now, so don’t you sugarcoat anything for me,” Though her voice held a hint of sternness, her eyes reflected her love for the younger angel.

Monica drew in a deep breath, knowing that like Andrew, there would be little she could hide from Tess anyway, “Yesterday was really hard,” She admitted softly, “And I didn’t handle it all that well…”

“I wouldn’t say that, Monica. There are parts of it you could have handled better or differently, but angels learn from their mistakes too. I’m glad Andrew helped to set you straight, as did Paul,” Wrapping her arm around her charge’s small shoulders, Tess led her over to the bed so they could sit down.

“You sure don’t miss much, do you?” The little angel grinned impishly and the uncompromising look that Tess gave her only caused a giggle to escape, though she tried to look penitent.

“I have a couple of special interests in this one, Miss Wings and I think you know that,” Tess replied, unable to resist a smile at the sound of the giggle she had missed hearing of late.

“I’ve been so grateful for Andrew being here, Tess. Though this has been difficult, it would have been twice as much so without him,” Her smile widened as she said a silent prayer of thanks for his unwavering friendship and presence in her existence.

“The Father knew you were going to need him in your corner, baby, and Andrew wouldn’t have been satisfied being anywhere else, and I think you know that,” She eyed the other angel sternly once more, “As you do know that, I hope you also now know better than to try to keep things from him about what you are feeling.”

Monica nodded her head solemnly, her face showing sudden seriousness, “Do you know when this will all be over, Tess?”

Tess sighed softly, wishing she had the answers that Monica was looking for. She knew her charge was struggling and that the incident in the barn yesterday had unnerved her. She only hoped that the little angel would be able to hold her own for awhile longer, “No baby, I don’t. I wish that I did, but nothing has changed about this situation. That man is still out there, and even once he is caught, you have to see this through until the end and that means testifying against him.”

Disappointment clearly radiated on the gaelic face as she nodded her head sadly, though the frown softened as Lucy gave a soft mew and crawled into the angel’s lap.

“And about these kittens of yours…” Tess began, looking a little disgruntled, but seeing the almost pleading look in Monica’s eyes, she changed her tone quickly, “We can discuss them later,” She added, though she had no idea what to do with them once this whole thing was over and done with as it was obvious her charge loved them dearly and that they were in their own way helping her to cope with her situation, “What we need to discuss now however, is your needing to have a little conversation with the Father. Though He knows what you are feeling, baby, He would still like to hear it from you.”

Picking Lucy up in her arms and hearing the comforting purr, she rubbed her face against the soft fur, “I know and I will…soon.”

The older angel shook her head, knowing she couldn’t force the issue despite the fact that she wanted to. Monica needed to go to Him of her own free will and her need to do so. Though Tess knew that her friend needed to go Him now, for reasons of her own, Monica was still holding back.

Tess was also debating a little chat with Andrew as well, if she could get him alone for a few minutes. She knew he was struggling as well with issues, mostly concerning his anger at the killer and the way he was tormenting Monica. Yesterday had done a number on the blond angel that not even Monica was aware of and his fury needed to be squelched before the smoke of his anger became a full fledged fire.

“Have you seen Heather and Missy?”

Monica’s question pulled the other angel from her thoughts as she smiled slightly, “As I matter of fact, I did stop in to check on them the other day. They’re taking it one day at a time and leaning on God and each other,” She gave Monica a pointed look, “You helped to teach them that, so don’t forget it yourself.”

“No ma’am,” She replied, though another smile tugged at the corners of her mouth at the news that Josh’s family was doing as well as could be expected.

“They send their love, baby. They are aware that you were a witness and they’re counting on you to help bring justice for Joshua,” She immediately saw the troubled look enter into the little angel’s eyes and knew what it was about, “Monica, had you not been there, Josh would have been killed anyway, so the fact that you were there doesn’t change a thing. The important thing is that you saw the man who did this and can bring him to justice before he hurts anyone else.”

Monica appeared to consider this for a moment as for some reason she hadn’t before. She had focused on having been there when McArthur killed Josh instead of what would have happened had she left as she should have. The difference all had to do with knowing who had done this and she knew. Instead of thinking about what she hadn’t done in saving Josh, she was now thinking of what she had done by being there. She had identified a dangerous killer; a killer who wanted to kill her. That was the only piece of this that left her unsettled.

Clearly able to see how Monica was mulling this over in her mind, Tess watched the wide range of emotions cross her charge’s face; everything from understanding to fear and she didn’t hesitate to pull her close once again, “As frightened as you are, Angel Girl, the Father is still in control and He will use this situation for good. No matter what happens in the days ahead, you keep focusing on that and you won’t go wrong.”

Though the question of what if the killer found her before the FBI found the killer still lingered in her mind, Monica nodded her head and managed a sheepish smile, “I think the Father and I are long overdue for a little chat.”

*****

Down in the kitchen, Paul and Andrew were drinking coffee and waiting for Monica to make an appearance. Neither of them really wanted to be the one to suggest waking her although both of them wanted to be the one to do so. Andrew was particularly anxious to check on her, not wanting her to wake and think he had abandoned her.

“We should probably start breakfast,” Paul said. “She didn’t eat anything yesterday and she needs to eat.”

“Well if we want her to eat, then blueberry pancakes would be a good start,” Andrew said before he even realized that the words were out of his mouth. They were her favorite breakfast food, and he hadn’t even thought twice about mentioning that fact.

Paul looked at him and his eyes narrowed just a fraction before Andrew quickly spoke up again. “I think she mentioned liking them the other day, on the walk down to the barn,” he covered.

The agent seemed satisfied with that explanation and started rummaging through the fully-stocked refrigerator. “Well she’s in luck because I think we’ve got everything but the sink in here.”

Andrew retrieved a mixing bowl and spoon while Paul gathered ingredients. The kitchen was quite a bit larger than the one at the farm, and the blond angel looked around for the fire alarm. He had a feeling that with nothing else to do, Monica would be difficult to keep out of the kitchen.

“So, what are the plans for the day,” he said casually, knowing that the Irish angel would quickly go stir crazy if she didn’t have something to do, and hoping that Paul had some ideas.

One look from the man told him that he hadn’t thought quite that far ahead.

“I was hoping that you had something in mind,” Paul admitted. “I’ve gotta tell you, she’s not exactly the usual witness. Hey, you’ve seen,” he said, referring to their brief partnership prior to Monica’s arrival. “Most are happy enough to sit in front of the tv or hole up in a room with a few books or a hobby,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Of course usually we don’t have to have security this tight,” he added.

“Yeah,” Andrew replied with a grin, “she’s anything but ordinary.”

Paul shook his head as he combined flour and buttermilk and a pinch of salt. “Well we’re going to have to think of something, at least for a couple of days. There’s a little land around here but truthfully I don’t even want her out of the house.”

Andrew nodded his head in agreement, although he hated thinking about how she would handle any kind of extended confinement. To go from being an angel traveling far and wide over God’s creation to being trapped in one place was already having an effect on the little angel. She had admitted that out on the farm, and at least there she had been able to lose herself for at least a little while out in the fields with the horses. Unfortunately the only thing he could really do was pray that McArthur was found soon so that at least she could have some semblance of a normal existence on earth.

A light thudding sound from above caused Andrew and Paul to look upwards and then glance at each other. Andrew was thankful that the agent had his flour-covered hands full with stirring the batter.

“I’ll check it out,” the angel said. “It’s probably just one of the kittens.”

He walked out of the kitchen slowly, but then took the stairs two at a time. He couldn’t conceive of anything being wrong with the Irish angel, but he was past taking chances. He slowed his pace as he approached her room, and knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to startle her if she wasn’t awake.

“Come in,” her sweet voice floated through the door.

He quickly obeyed, his face breaking into a grin when he saw her sitting cross-legged on her bed, surrounded by her collection of kitten fluff balls. She was smiling, something that he hadn’t expected, and he felt his heart lighten just a bit.

“Good morning, Monica,” he said. “I see that you’re training for a career as a future cat-herder,” he joked.

“Maybe,” she said with a little smirk. Then her bright eyes met his, and he knew she had more to tell him.

“What is it, angel?”

“Tess was here,” she whispered, not wanting Paul to overhear should he be nearby. “The Father sent her down to visit.”

“Oh!” Andrew exclaimed, his own eyes matching hers. He knew how much such a visit must have meant to her. “I’m so glad.” He paused. “And I hope she set you straight on a few things,” he said teasingly.

“Actually,” she said seriously, “you did that yesterday.”

He felt a light blush rising to his cheeks and picked up one of the kittens to distract himself.

Monica noticed the flush to his cheeks and grinned widely, finding his embarrassment adorable, but she was also tactful enough to let it slide, “Thank you for staying with me last night,” She told him softly, her eyes flashing with gratitude, “Without you, I don’t think I would have ever gotten back to sleep after that nightmare.”

“I’m just sorry I wasn’t here in time for the nightmare to have been avoided altogether,” He replied, not wanting to even ask what the dream had been about as he didn’t want her to have to rehash it.

She stifled a giggle as Whiskers decided to climb up on Andrew’s shoulder and have a little walk about, “I think she likes you. She has good taste.”

Andrew rolled his eyes playfully at her as he caught the kitten and set her back on the bed, where she immediately pounced on one of her siblings, “Whatever are you going to do with all of them once this is all over, Monica?” He asked with a smile, as he sat down beside of her on the bed, despite the fact that he knew they couldn’t stay up here very long without Paul getting curious about where he had gone. But Andrew also knew that they now had an advantage with the steps at this house. He would be able to hear Paul the second the agent’s foot hit the first one.

She sighed heavily as she leaned into him, one of the kittens still in her lap, “I don’t know. Tess sort of insinuated we’d deal with all that later.”

“I’m sure we’ll come up with something, angel,” He assured, unable to keep himself from wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He supposed that as an angel, she had never had anything physical belong to her and now for all intent and purpose, the kittens did, especially as they were now motherless. He saw the way she looked up at him with trusting brown eyes and he knew now beyond the shadow of a doubt that he would have to find a kitten solution that would please her when this was over, “We should get downstairs. Paul’s making blueberry pancakes for breakfast.”

The little angel’s face lit up in a smile once more, “You remembered.”

He smiled, knowing that there wasn’t anything he didn’t commit to memory once he learned it about her, “I nearly got myself into trouble with it, but yes, I remembered. So lets go. You didn’t eat anything yesterday and that just isn’t acceptable.”

Letting him pull her to her feet, she chuckled at his attempt to be stern with her and she impulsively wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, “I’m so glad you’re here, Andrew.”

Smiling, as his heart warmed at her actions, he lifted her slightly off the ground as he squeezed her tightly, “Me too, angel. Me too.”

*****

“You’re just in time,” Paul smiled as Monica came into the kitchen after showering and getting dressed and he set down a plate of pancakes in front of her.

“They look and smell wonderful,” She grinned, suddenly feeling ravenous as she took a bite and closed her eyes to savor the taste, “Add taste to that list as well.”

“I’m glad you like them,” The agent moved to take the cup of coffee Andrew had just finished pouring for her and set it down in front of her, thankfully missing Andrew’s slightly annoyed expression.

She waited until they had sat down with her with their own plates to venture the question that was playing on her mind, “So did they have any luck at the farm? Did they find anything?”

Andrew and Paul exchanged a glance before Paul elected to answer her question, “No. Not yet anyway and they are checking the surrounding area as well as you heard yesterday. We’ll find him, Monica. It just may take a little more time.” He held his breath, awaiting her reaction, but she only nodded her head as she took a sip of her coffee.

She seemed more accepting today, and he could only hope it would last after a few days of being closed up in the house, though he was still struggling with an idea of something that could occupy her, “Are the clothes Michelle picked out to your liking?”

“Oh yes,” She smiled gratefully in his direction, “It seems Michelle knows my tastes rather well.”

“She mentioned something about a sales clerk offering her a lot of help,” He shook his head and chuckled, “Michelle said it was like the woman appeared out of nowhere and started handing her things.”

Andrew quelched a grin, wondering if the infamous sales lady could have been Tess as she had obviously been in the area. He knew that despite the fact that clothes were a small thing, having things she liked and felt comfortable in could still make a difference to the little angel.

Paul allowed his eyes to roam around the kitchen, an small idea forming in his mind, “You know, I don’t think this kitchen has seen a coat of paint or been updated at all in years.”

Immediately picking up on what his partner was hinting at, Andrew nodded his head in agreement, “It’s a shame really as this house is used so often, to not make it as pleasant as possible.”

Monica thoughtfully took another bite of her breakfast as she looked around the room, surveying the situation. The paint was dingy and though the room got a good bit of sunlight, it still felt far from cheery. Even the curtain seemed drab and much too dark, not allowing as much light as was possible. It was a project for idle hands longing to do something, “Maybe a very pale lilac,” She mused, twirling her fork in her fingers, “What color is on those walls anyway?”

“Antique white, maybe?” Andrew offered, clearly able to see the thoughts churning in her head.

“I think the only thing antique about it is the amount of time it has been on the walls,” Paul remarked dryly, trying to not show his pleasure at her apparent interest, “Maybe we could bring someone in here to get it painted and freshened up one day.”

“I’ll do it,” Monica quickly intercepted, a quirky smile on her face. She knew Paul and Andrew had dangled the bait hoping to distract her, but she didn’t plan on letting them know she knew that, “Can we get paint and brushes? Oh, and how about new curtains and maybe a white border with lilacs on it to match the paint?”

“I believe that can all be arranged. I’ll make a call right after breakfast,” Paul winked in Andrew’s direction, obviously pleased that his little plan had worked.

“You know what this means, don’t you?” The Irish angel asked innocently, peering up at her two protectors with a hint of mischief in her eyes. Seeing their perplexed expressions, she explained, “You’ll have to allow me to be in the kitchen other than to eat.”

Laughter broke out between man and angel as Andrew shook his head in amusement, “I think that can be arranged, as long as you promise not to touch the stove.”

Chapter Eighteen

Andrew had to hand it to Paul; his idea to get Monica redecorating was brilliant and the agent managed to have paint and supplies at the house within an hour after Monica said she wanted to do it. The blond angel noticed the small, sort of satisfied grin on his friend’s face, and had a feeling that their little act to get her painting had been fairly transparent as far as she was concerned. However, he didn’t care if she knew, he was just glad that she seemed genuinely happy to have something to do.

“First we need to take down those curtains,” she directed, standing in the middle of the kitchen and swiveling around with one hand on her hip and the other at her chin. “Hmm… and then I think I’ll start painting over on that wall.” She pointed to one of the inside walls that only had one doorway.

“You’re the boss,” Paul joked.

“Well for the moment, anyway,” she smiled back. “I think I’m going to need a ladder for those tall bits,” she continued, pointing at the top part of the wall.”

Paul’s eyes narrowed, suddenly thinking that perhaps this was not the best idea. “I don’t know about that. I’m sure Andrew or I can get those parts.”

The force ten glare that she sent his way was enough to make him take a step back and Andrew stifle a laugh. “I am quite capable of climbing a ladder,” she insisted. “I’m not even afraid of heights.”

Paul held up a hand to forestall any more arguing. “Okay, okay, I’ll get you a ladder. The place is all yours.”

She winked at him, innocently, and the agent felt his heart speed up. “I wouldn’t go that far,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind a little help,” she said with a grin.

Andrew, witnessing the little exchange, and knowing that Monica was just being her usual sweet and naïve self, felt his stomach clench. He was quite sure that Paul would not see it that way. In fact, even from his vantage point across the room, he could see that the man was beginning to get a slight blush through his cheeks.

“I’ll go and get the ladder,” he said, needing the air as much as anything else. “I think I saw one out in the garage when we pulled in.”

Monica gave him a little wave, and then turned to her paint cans and pans and rollers. “Now,” she said, just a little doubtfully, having never actually painted anything before, “I think if I’m careful I should have enough to do the whole room.”

Paul burst out laughing as he cast his eye along the five cans of paint a fellow agent had brought in. “Monica, you have enough paint there to do at least three kitchens. So knock yourself out.” He turned away briefly to gather up some rags, but looked over his shoulder at her, saying, “and I don’t mean that literally!”

She smirked at him, and then pried the lid off of one of the paint cans. She glanced down at the pale looking paint and a disappointed sigh escaped without her knowledge.

“What is it?” Paul asked, moving to her side.

“Nothing,” she said, putting on a smile, “I was just hoping for lilac. This will be fine… it’ll really lighten the place up.”

Paul reached over and grabbed a paint stick from one of the bags and went to work stirring the paint, trying to keep from laughing again. He watched the little angel out of the corner of his eye and saw her expression change to one of amazement as the color slowly swirled into the paint.

“How’s that?” he asked when he was sure it was done.

“Perfect!” she exclaimed. “I guess I haven’t actually done much painting… or any painting…” she admitted.

He grinned and looked into her smiling face. “That’s okay, I’m sure you’ll go a great job,” he declared.

She carefully poured out the paint and within a few minutes had managed to make a passable effort and painting the wall. Of course it was a bit uneven, and a bit drippy, but Paul didn’t want to spoil her fun when she was having such a good time. He only approached her when she stood back to look at her progress, hands on her hips, and a slightly puzzled look on her face.

“Problems?” he asked.

“It doesn’t look quite right,” she admitted. “What do you suppose I did wrong? Maybe a wee bit more paint,” she said, reaching for the roller.

“Nooo… I don’t think that’s the problem,” Paul said, keeping the humor in his tone to a minimum. “I think you’re laying it on a little thick actually. Here, let’s see you do it again.”

She stepped forward, paint roller in hand, and went to slop yet more paint on the wall, moving in a side to side pattern.

“Ok… I think I see your problem,” he said, reaching around to take hold of her hand. “You really want to go more up and down,” he said, directing her arm.

He honestly had only meant to give her a hand, but the feeling of her small body nestled so close to his chest, her hand within his own, it sent his heart racing again. He felt his hand involuntarily tighten around hers, hardly noticing that they had stopped moving.

“Oh!” Monica exclaimed. “I think I see what you mean.” She turned her head upwards to meet his eyes, and was only a little startled by the sudden closeness as Paul ducked his head slightly.

“Here’s the ladder!” Andrew announced, as he entered the room. He nearly dropped it on the floor when he saw Monica almost surrounded by Paul’s larger form, their faces only inches apart.

Monica looked over at him with a smile, her face radiant in her simple pleasure, “I think I get it now, Andrew!”

Thinking that she most certainly did not, Andrew just nodded his head, trying to curb his frustration, which was quickly beginning to overwhelm him. He was feeling very annoyed with Paul for pushing this issue with Monica and surprisingly annoyed with his best friend for not seeing what was happening. She had more than enough clues lately and he was finding it increasingly difficult to believe that she had no idea what was going on in Paul’s head. Though these were not emotions angels experienced, she had certainly observed them in humans before, but seemed to be completely missing it now that it was directed towards her. In addition to that, the fact that she appeared comfortable with the agent’s misguided attention was only allowing Paul to think she was enjoying it. Not that she wasn’t, but it was purely in the innocent way one would cherish the attention of a new friend.

Suddenly feeling very self conscious now that Andrew had returned, Paul released Monica’s hand and took a step back, “Now that you have it, I’m going to check with the guys and make sure everything is quiet. I won’t be gone long.”

Once Paul had gone, Monica cast a glance at her friend, who seemed intent on applying a coat of paint on the wall with a vengeance and her brow furrowed in concern, “Andrew?”

Her unasked question hung in the air for a moment, before he simply shook his head, not once looking at her, and the little angel’s eyes filled with hurt. She felt as if she had done something wrong, though nothing she could think of had happened to make him appear so stand-offish with her. Lowering her paint roller, she tried once more, “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” He replied simply, now irritated with himself, able to feel her hurt in his heart and not liking the fact that he was inflicting it.

“I beg to differ-.”

“Monica.”

It was a warning and she knew it. He didn’t want to be pushed at the moment, but this was out of character for him, and it stung terribly. Blinking back tears, she put her roller back into the pan and rolled the excess paint off of it, before slowly applying it to the wall once more. Her earlier happiness was gone as the few moments of stolen time with Andrew were being intruded upon by a culprit she couldn’t even identify. He was always warm and loving to her, and this sudden change in his demeanor concerned her and left her completely bewildered.

Feeling overwhelmed and needing a little distance as it was too hard to be in the same room with him when he seemed upset with her, she muttered a quiet “Excuse me,” as she laid down her roller and hurried out of the kitchen.

Shaking his head angrily at himself, Andrew laid down his own brush and drew in a deep breath, knowing he couldn’t leave things like this. He wasn’t really angry with her and he knew that while at the same time to tell her the full truth would be impossible as he couldn’t put that kind of pressure on her. He didn’t want her knowing of Paul’s feelings until it was unavoidable, but he could at least admit his own.

Finding her in the living room, auburn head lowered, he approached her and knelt down in front of her. Tilting her chin up with his fingers, his expression saddened at the sight of her tear-filled eyes that held a mixture of hurt and confusion.

“I’m sorry, angel,” He whispered regretfully, hating the absence of her earlier delight that he had erased.

“You’re upset with me,” Monica replied softly, knowing it was true, but not understanding why.

“No. That’s where you’re wrong,” He lowered his eyes for a moment before raising them again, not looking forward to being so painfully honest, “I guess…I guess I’m not accustomed to having to share you with anyone other than God and Tess, Angel Girl. I don’t like it.”

Her eyes widened at his words as she tried to wrap her mind around them, “Paul?”

He smiled ruefully as he nodded his head, “He enjoys your company and it’s his job to protect you and that is something I’ve always taken solely upon myself to do. It’s something I’ve loved doing, even though I know the Father does just fine by Himself without my help, but it’s always been one of my ways of being able to show you how much I love you. Now it is also in Paul’s place to do that and I’m ashamed to say that I’m not always comfortable with that,” He brushed back a strand of hair she had missed with her haphazard ponytail, which looked so natural it only added to the beauty God gave her, “And I suppose it doesn’t help that we have to be careful all the time either.”

“Oh Andrew..” She smiled sadly, her heart filling with so much love for him it ached. Taking his hands tightly into her own, she continued, “I like Paul, I really do, but I love you. You’re my dearest friend and I always prefer taking my troubles and my need to feel safe to you. I told Tess this morning that your being here was the saving grace of this entire mess and I meant that. If you weren’t here, I don’t know what I do or who I would talk to about what is on my heart. Guarding everything I say is more difficult than I could ever imagine, but know that given a choice, other than God, I’d chose you as my ‘protector’ every time.”

His smile widened as a slight blush rose to his cheeks, “Maybe I just needed to be reminded of that, angel. Paul’s training as an agent makes him a tough act to follow.”

Grinning, she disagreed gently, “That’s where you’re wrong. He’s a good man, but he doesn’t hold a candle to you.”

His blush deepened and he elected to hide by tugging her into his arms and hugging her tightly, “I’m sorry I hurt you. That is something I never want to do and never take it lightly when I do.”

“I just needed to understand, Andrew, and I’m glad you explained it to me,” She nestled into his arms, cherishing the feeling of love she always found there as she made a decision to be more careful with Paul. She knew Andrew was worried about her being in danger as it was, and she didn’t want to give him anything additional to feel badly about.

“I’m glad I did too. Now what do you say we go and paint a kitchen?” He asked, kissing the top of her head lightly.

“That sounds like a plan,” Monica agreed as she raised her head, but her face paled slightly as her eyes met with those of Paul, who was watching from the doorway, obviously having been looking for them.

“I was wondering where you two had wandered off to,” Paul said coolly, not daring to let his feelings override his professionalism. It was not an easy task, given that he had just witnessed his partner hugging the woman he had already admitted to having feelings for. He never would have guessed that Andrew would go behind his back.

Naturally, the thoughts behind Paul’s cold look never occurred to Monica, but she did realize that her current position with Andrew was not exactly what one would expect of two people who had only met a few weeks earlier. Then again, she remembered that Paul himself had hugged her the night before, to try to give her some comfort.

“I’m sorry, Paul,” she spoke up, ignoring the somewhat worried expression on Andrew’s face. “I was just feeling a little bit overwhelmed and I came in here to take a breather. I guess Andrew didn’t think I should be alone,” she smiled sweetly, thinking that it was not a lie; it wasn’t even stretching the truth. “I guess with you two watching out for me, I don’t need to worry about getting lonely,” she joked, trying to get a smile out of the agent.

Meanwhile, Andrew had managed to pull himself together, and he looked at Paul, judging his mood. The agent’s eyes had softened a bit, and he hoped that the man wasn’t going to read too much into their completely innocent embrace. “I didn’t want her just sitting in here getting herself all worked up again,” Andrew said, easing himself away from the angel, and standing up.

Paul looked back and forth between the two of them and let his shoulders relax, along with his jaw. He knew his partner well enough to know that he wouldn’t lie to him, and even if he didn’t the pure and innocent look on Monica’s face was enough to tell him that he had nothing to worry about as far as they were concerned.

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked, looking into her dark and shining eyes.

“Much,” Monica replied. “Good enough to get back to the kitchen and finish that painting job!”

Paul chuckled. “Well you don’t have to get the whole thing done in one afternoon! Take your time.”

Monica smiled, sensing that things were once again back on track. She did really enjoy Paul’s company, and she didn’t want him to be uncomfortable around either herself or Andrew. The only other option would have been to tell Paul about the fact that she and his partner were actually angels, and she really didn’t think that would go over very well without a little assistance from God.

The three of them went back into the kitchen, and soon they were all busy on different walls, covering over the dingy old paint with the pretty color that Monica had chosen. The little angel decided to show Andrew exactly why Paul had needed to give her a hand, and even he had to laugh over her “technique”.

“But I’ve gotten much better,” she insisted. “and look how much better it looks already.”

“It is a lot brighter and friendlier feeling,” Paul agreed, looking at the difference between the painted and unpainted areas. He glanced over at her and smiled. “You’ve got a little…” He reached over and swiped at the paint on the tip of her nose.

Monica giggled and her eyes lit up with glee as she suddenly grabbed his brush and dabbed a bit of paint on his own nose, and then turned to do the same to Andrew. “There!” she said, satisfied with herself. “Now we all match.”

Paul and Andrew both smiled at her indulgently, before Andrew went on the offensive and playfully flicked a bit more paint at her.

“Hey! No fair!” she exclaimed, laughing all the while.

“I disagree, Monica,” Paul said, sharing a look with Andrew. “All’s fair in love and painting,” he continued, and then proceeded to snatch back his brush and paint a little dot on each of her cheeks. He ducked out of the way when she tried to grab it back again, loving the sound of her laughter. When he glanced to his partner, he knew that he felt the same way, even if not for the same reasons, and knew it was well worth the price of a new shirt.

Chapter Nineteen

Though the day of painting had tired her out, once darkness had fallen once more, Monica once again found herself unable to sleep. She had never been fond of the dark, and this situation had done little to improve her comfort level with it. The nightmare from last night flooded back to her now as she lied in bed, staring into the blackness, and she struggled to distract herself from those thoughts.

Thankfully, Paul had seemed more at ease after her explanation this afternoon when he had caught she and Andrew in the hug, but what troubled her the most was how much it had seemed to have bothered him in the first place. He had seemed genuinely distressed when he had entered into the room and though she knew that it could have looked odd, the more she thought about it, the more she wasn’t convinced that was the reason. If it was a perfectly natural thing for Paul to offer her a comforting hug, then why would he be upset about Andrew doing the same thing?

At the time, she could only think of getting away from the premise that she and Andrew knew each other at all, but now she had more than a few doubts about the entire situation, but she couldn’t quite place her finger on what was bothering her so much. The little angel had always thought that humans were complicated creatures, who often kept what they were feeling to themselves instead of being honest about their emotions. She had watched assignments many times, dancing around situations instead of just dealing with them head on, and it always made her feel perplexed. True, she had tried to bury her feelings the other day for Andrew’s sake, but her masquerade had been unable to last long with him. They never could. The older angel knew her far too well and it warmed her heart that often there was very little she had to explain to him in words.

But Paul was different. Reserved most of the time, but he often warmed when the mood turned lighter…when her mood turned lighter. She sighed as she rolled over once more trying to stop her mind from working in order to be able to sleep. The agent had taken a chance in taking her on that outing a few days ago; so much so that he had instantly wanted to blame himself when she had been found. If he had known the dangers involved, then why would he take such risks? Granted, she had completely enjoyed the escape that day, but she also knew that Paul was a fine agent and risks were not something he would take without good reason and he really had no good reason to take this one. It hadn’t been an emergency, there had been no reason that they had to go into the town, so why would he take her?

Monica suddenly bolted up in bed, eyes wide. It couldn’t be, could it? Andrew had been jealous. Was there more to that story than he had shared with her today? Was he not only feeling threatened by Paul’s protectiveness of her, but because the agent had confided in him about something?

Feeling completely overwhelmed, as well as struggling with feelings of betrayal, Monica threw back the blanket and got out bed. She opened her door quietly and approached the stairs, deactivating the alarm system as Paul had shown her to do before she had retired for the night. She then crept downstairs and to the back door, also deactivating that system as well.

Seeing Russ, who had the night watch tonight, she beckoned to him from the screen door. Paul had introduced she and Andrew around this evening to the other agents and she had found them all very pleasant.

“Monica,” Russ approached her, keeping his voice low as to not wake anyone else in the house, “Are you all right?”

She managed a shaky smile for him, “Russ, I know Paul doesn’t particularly want me out of the house, but I could really use a few minutes of air. You can stay with me, I don’t mind, but please? Just for a couple of minutes?”

Russ looked undecided for a moment, but saw a look in her eyes that spoke volumes of just needing a brief escape, “Sure Monica. The grounds are secure and as long as you stay nearby, I don’t see a problem.”

“Thank you,” She uttered, reaching out to give his hand a squeeze, immediately thinking of the number of times she had done that with Paul. It had been such a harmless gesture, but now she could see it in an entirely different light.

The little angel walked out onto the porch and down the steps into the yard, her bare feet feeling the soft, cool grass underneath of her. Keeping her promise to not venture far, she walked in a small continuous circle, trying to sort out her jumbled thoughts.

She felt so naïve at the moment that she felt queasy, as she went over almost every detail since the first day that they had gone riding. It all had a completely different feel to it now as she looked at it as if her eyes had been opened for the first time. Had the agent assumed that she had been….flirting with him? That was what humans called it, though the purpose of it had always escaped her being an angel. It all felt like beating around the bush to her when she would see humans play these games with each other instead of just being honest about how they felt. Not understanding the concept had kept her from realizing how Paul felt about her sooner. If she was right.

And why would Andrew keep it from her if he knew? Why would he just allow her to keep moving in the same direction, while Paul’s feelings for her grew maybe with each gesture of friendship she had shown him? Now no matter what she did, she was going to hurt the FBI agent.

She continued her pacing for another few minutes, trying to convince herself that there was another explanation for everything. Unfortunately now that she had the ideas in her head, there was no way for her to discard them. She rubbed at her tired eyes and tilted her head back to look into the sky, hoping to somehow find the truth written among the stars. They twinkled in the darkness, but their light was cold and it gave her no answers. What it did give her was the resolve to go back inside and continue on along the path she had been thrust upon. As God had created each star and placed them perfectly within the sky, so had He placed her upon the earth, and she trusted that His plan for her was every bit as perfect as the constellations.

*****

Russ had been watching her intently from the porch, even as he tried to give her at least some semblance of privacy. He had heard quite a lot about her and he knew that what she was going through was one of the most difficult things any person could face. His heart went out to her as he watched her gaze into the sky, and he noted the determination written on her face when she turned to walk back to the house.

“Thank you so much,” she said as she passed through the door that he held open for her.

“Not a problem, Monica. I hope you’ll be able to get some sleep now.”

“I think I will,” she let a brief smile turn up the corners of her mouth before heading down the hallway and up the stairs.

Her every footstep on the wood floor sent tiny creaking noises through the upstairs hall, and she glanced nervously and Andrew and Paul’s rooms. There were no signs of movement from behind them, but she still gave a sigh of relief when she entered her own room and turned to shut the door.

“Monica, where have you been?”

She spun around to face her dearest friend, who was bathed in both the moonlight and the light of God, but who still wore a look of displeasure. His eyes met hers, and the annoyance was replaced with sympathy and concern.

“I’m sorry, angel… I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I was just surprised when I came in here and found you gone.”

The Irish angel held his gaze for a few more seconds and then went to her bed and sat down heavily, not saying a word. She knew that his eyes were on her, expecting a response, but she wasn’t sure what to tell him. She was still feeling confused by her sudden revelation, and much of that confusion swirled around her mixed feelings about the fact that, if true, then Andrew had been keeping it from her almost from the beginning.

“Andrew,” she whispered, staring back up at him, her face devoid of its usual softness. “Did Paul tell you how he felt about me?”

The blond angel was certainly not expecting that question, and he waited while the shock passed over him, leaving his muscles tense and his palms slightly sweaty. He didn’t know how she had determined the truth, but she had, and obviously she had also realized his role in keeping it from her. He remembered how upset he had been earlier in the day, when she had seemed so hopelessly naïve to the point of being ignorant. How he wished that she had kept those qualities.

“I…” he knew that he couldn’t lie to her after being asked a direct question. “He did tell me something. Yes,” he replied softly, taking a step closer, but not yet daring to sit beside her.

“That’s part of the reason why you were upset today, isn’t it?”

“Partially,” he said slowly, “but everything I told you was also true. Those have been my feelings… I just left out his.”

“And you let me keep talking to him and doing things around him as if everything was perfectly normal,” she lightly accused. “All the while knowing that he was probably taking everything completely differently than the way I intended.”

“Monica…” he began, holding out a hand in hopes that she would take it and pull him to sit with her, but she kept her own hands folded in her lap. He let out a sigh and dropped his hand to his side. “I didn’t want to make things any more difficult for you. You’ve had a hard enough time without having to deal with human emotional entanglements that you aren’t even familiar with.” He knew that he had gone a step too far when her eyes lit up and her brows rose.

“Just because I haven’t dealt with them directly, doesn’t mean that I’m not familiar with them,” she said evenly. “I admit that I didn’t realize what was going on, but not telling me has only made things worse. I don’t know how to fix things and I just know that I’m going to end up hurting him.”

At the slight crack in her voice, Andrew could no longer stand there, and he took the single step to her bed and sat down next to her, waiting for her to face him. “I’m sorry, angel. I wasn’t sure what to do, and staying quiet just seemed to be easiest. You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you or Paul.”

“Yes,” she nodded her head, “but I think you have, and now I have an ache inside that I don’t know what to do with.”

Andrew fell silent for a moment, feeling more than terrible about his decision to keep this from her in the first place. To hurt anyone would break Monica’s heart and he had placed her in a position to bring emotional pain to someone that she cared about. Had she known the truth earlier, maybe she could have headed Paul off and avoided things getting worse, but now hurting him would be unavoidable.

He nodded his head sadly, unsure of what to say to bridge this sudden gap between them. While he knew she wasn’t angry, he could clearly sense her disappointment, though it didn’t hold a candle to the disappointment he felt in himself for making things more difficult for her, despite his good intentions, “I don’t know what else to say, Angel Girl. Hurting you was never my intention; protecting you was.”

“But you protected me from the truth, Andrew,” She pointed out, her expression more than troubled, “And because I didn’t know it, I made a bigger mess of this then it ever needed to be,” Seeing him lower his eyes, she sighed, knowing that nothing could allow him to turn back time and she could sense that he wished he could, “I’m not mad at you. I just don’t know how to make this better, despite how much I want to.”

Seeing his forlorn expression, the little angel wrapped her arms around his waist in a gentle hug and a moment later she felt him holding her tightly. Despite the situation, she didn’t want any tension between herself and Andrew as there was enough of that in the air already, though she did feel at a complete loss as to how to handle this sudden blow to her present existence.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered softly to her, kissing the top of her head.

“I know,” Monica replied defeatedly, suddenly feeling more exhausted then she could ever remember having felt before. She had seen her assignment murdered, been in human form for weeks, had a killer after her and now stood to hurt someone who had become a friend. She was trying to be a calm as she knew how to be, but inside she was screaming.

“We’ll work this out,” Andrew assured her, feeling a sudden tension come over her and longing to brush it away.

“There is no ‘we’ about it, Andrew. I have to find a way to work it out while doing the least amount of damage,” Her voice was barely audible to him as she leaned her forehead up against his shoulder, “I’m just so tired, Andrew…”

His heart ached at the tremble in her voice, knowing she was speaking from far more than a physical standpoint. While this last bit of information may have seemed to have been the smallest disaster so far, it had pushed her to a place of feeling emotionally drained, which is what he had feared all along. She was already trying to work out how to act around Paul now, afraid to be herself, and it was just one more charade the little Irish angel was now caught up in, “Why don’t you try and get some sleep, Angel Girl? It’s late and you worked hard today.”

Allowing him to release her, Monica laid down, knowing that tomorrow she was going to have to work even harder and she only hoped she could find it in herself to do so.

*****

Morning light did little to help Monica’s mood after a restless night’s sleep. She awoke alone, Andrew having returned to his room and she found herself feeling completely isolated all of a sudden. She couldn’t be herself with her best friend, and now she had to measure each word and action with Paul and it was completely overwhelming to her and she had no idea of how to face this day.

Still lying in bed, the angel closed her eyes, knowing that there was only one place to turn and that this was something she should have done a long time ago, “Father?” Her tired voice was a slight whisper as she forced herself to continue, “I know I should have come to You long ago, when this all first began, but I felt so horribly guilty about what happened to my assignment. By the time Tess and Andrew made me see the other side of things recently, I then felt ashamed by not bringing what was on my heart to You to begin with,” Monica felt tears filling her eyes, which she tried to wipe away though they were only replaced by more of them, “I’m frightened and confused and while I know that You are always with me, sometimes even an angel needs a reminder. Thank you for allowing Andrew to be here and please take the guilt from his heart about not telling me the truth about Paul.”

She fell silent for a moment, struggling with her emotions before she continued tearfully, “You know everything that has happened and everything that will happen. Please use this situation for good and show me the path You wish for me to follow, Father. I’m feeling a wee bit lost right now, but I know that to You, I’m not lost at all…”

The little angel lay quietly for a few moments before suddenly feeling the overwhelming warmth and love that could only come from God. It surrounded and filled her, bringing her peace even before He said a word.

“Yes, my precious child, I am with you now and always. Continue to trust in Me and know that My love is unending.”

Chapter Twenty

The light tapping on the door caused Monica to stop her playful game with the kittens and glance at her clock. It was nearly nine o’clock and she had lost track of time since her early morning conversation with God. She carefully climbed out of bed, not wanting to disturb any of her little charges, and grabbed her robe before heading to the door.

“Good morning,” she said as she opened the door to reveal Andrew standing in the hall, coffee in hand.

“A little peace offering,” he explained as he held the cup out to her and was instantly rewarded with a warm smile.

She then lowered her eyes, almost embarrassed. “You don’t need a peace offering,” she said. “I already told you that I’m not angry with you. Please don’t feel badly… I know you were only trying to protect me.”

Andrew glanced quickly down the hall and then stepped forward, bending to kiss the top of her head. “Thank you.” He tilted his head to meet her eyes and held them until she looked up again. “I know that last night you said that this was something you were going to have to work out for yourself, but if you need to talk…”

The corner of her mouth turned up in a relaxed, teasing way. “You’re the first one I’ll go to, Andrew. You know that.”

The blond angel seemed to breathe a little easier at her words, and he narrowed his eyes, taking in the subtle differences that only he could see in her. “You spoke with the Father,” he guessed, smiling.

“Yes,” a very slight blush crept up her neck. “You and Tess were right. I should have gone to him earlier.”

His green eyes searched her face as though trying to see inside her soul. “Feeling better than last night?” he asked carefully.

She nodded her head and sat back down on her bed, scooping up a handful of kitten as she did so. “More at peace with things,” she said slowly, “but still so tired.”

“Of course you are… anyone would be,” he reassured her, “angels not excepted.”

Sounds from the kitchen drifted down the hall and Monica’s eyes closed momentarily. Normally the clanging and rattling would be comforting; the sounds of the start of a new day, and the knowledge that there was someone down there looking out for her. Now those same noises brought a touch of fear and worry.

“I just don’t know what I’m going to say to him,” she whispered. “I mean, I’m not going to say anything… maybe it’s just temporary and it will blow over before anything comes of it.”

Andrew’s expression told her that wasn’t likely and she concentrated on the kitten in her lap. Lately, taking care of them was the easiest part of her day. All they wanted from her was a little attention and a little food. In return they gave her love that she didn’t have to worry about rejecting.

“Well I can’t tell him that I know anything,” she decided. “I can’t even think of what I would say,” she looked up, uncertainty filling her eyes.

“I really don’t think you need to say anything, Monica. You just need to act the same way you’ve always acted.”

She sighed and stared into his face. “That’s what got me into this problem in the first place.”

Andrew shoved his hands in his pockets and his brows knit together. She did have a point, but asking her to change the sweet and open creature that she was… that was unacceptable. “Maybe now that you’re aware of the situation you’ll be able to head things off,” he suggested.

“Maybe.”

“Well, now’s as good a time to try as any,” he said with a slightly guilty grin. “I’m supposed to be getting you up for breakfast.”

She smiled ruefully, feeling her stomach churn with something that was definitely not hunger, “Let me take a shower and get changed and I’ll be there.” Though she had often gone in for breakfast in her pajamas and robe, suddenly she felt extremely self conscious about doing that and this was a feeling she was not very familiar with.

Sensing her sudden discomfort, Andrew frowned, knowing that her unease with Paul was already beginning as he wished more than anything he had a way to alleviate it for her. She was being forced into playing too many games, and only he and the Father knew how desperately important it was to her that everyone win.

*****

He smiled to himself as he entered into his hotel room. The game was getting far too simple, and his little doe-like pawn was nearly within his grasp again. The question was did he want to continue his hunting game a little longer before making his kill?

He had seen her outside last night. She had been pacing and was obviously troubled and he enjoyed her nervousness. It was almost too easy for him to end it for her just yet. An inside contact would make entering the gated property effortless and he preferred a bit of a challenge.

He loved being able to see and smell her fear, just as he had been able to the day the two agents had taken her from the farm. Her legs had given out in her terror and grief over the dead cat and his message to her. It was the fear in his victims that made it all worthwhile and he wanted to instill that fear just a little bit longer before ending her life.

Yes, soon it would all be over, but for now, he only wanted to play the game for as long as he safely could and he would make sure he made it memorable for her.

*****

“Well, good morning,” Paul smiled as Monica finally joined them in the kitchen. His smile faded slightly as he noticed how peaked she appeared this morning and he wondered if she was having trouble sleeping again, though after all the work she had done in the kitchen yesterday, she should have dropped off within minutes.

The angel returned his smile, trying to control her queasy stomach this morning which she was sure was coming from a bad case of nerves over what she now knew, “You found the table, I see.”

“It took a bit of doing, but we managed,” Andrew interjected, his eyes flickering with a bit of concern as he watched her carefully.

“Well, hopefully, I can finish the kitchen off today and get this all cleaned up,” She began, but Paul stopped her by placing his hands on her shoulders, and Monica struggled to act as comfortable with the gesture as she would have been yesterday, but it was proving to be no easy task.

“Why don’t you take it a bit easier today, honey? You look tired and you worked non-stop yesterday. The kitchen isn’t going anywhere,” Paul looked into her eyes as he saw the uncertainty in them.

Andrew rose to his feet, knowing he had to break up this moment before Monica became completely overwhelmed before she even had time to adjust to her new role, “Paul’s right. So why don’t you just sit down and have a leisurely breakfast and a quiet morning. We can talk about continuing the kitchen later.”

Almost feeling grateful for Andrew’s sudden air of authority, the little angel nodded her head, “That actually sounds like a very good idea.”

“Good,” Paul released her and turned around to take the newest batch of french toast out of the pan, “Did you sleep all right last night?” He asked, worry evident in his voice.

“I was a wee bit restless,” She admitted, knowing that was an understatement as she was sure she had seen every hour last night, despite Andrew’s reassuring presence in the room with her.

“That settles it then,” Paul decided, putting butter and syrup on the table, “No painting today. We’ll declare it a day of rest instead.”

“Paul, really-,” She began to protest, but his expression silenced her, telling her that the item was not up for debate.

Andrew ate in silence, one watchful eye on his dearest friend, who suddenly appeared to look smaller than usual and more pensive than he had seen her in a few days. The truth was that not only did she measure every word said to Paul now, but the same was true in reverse. She was now taking all of the agent’s words in a completely different light and while he knew what she really wanted was her world put back to how it was a few weeks ago, she would now settle for yesterday.

He desperately wished that he could arrange a few hours of time alone with her, instead of the stolen minutes they usually had, knowing that some substantial time with just the two of them would allow her to relax and regroup, but he was fairly certain that was not something Paul would knowingly allow. Not given his feelings for the Irish angel. Now Paul had taken away her one distraction from this day, leaving her with her thoughts that she couldn’t even voice to him until tonight.

Their eyes met briefly from across the table and the older angel could see in them what he already knew in his heart. She was feeling completely overpowered right now, in need of a friend and of the two ways she could turn to remedy the problem, one was impossible and the other could lead to disaster.

*****

Thankfully, Monica was able to use her exhausted state to her advantage, telling agent and angel that she was going to take Paul’s advice and get some rest by taking a nice nap after breakfast. She tried not to read anything into the slight look of disappointment she thought she saw on the agent’s face, but it was yet another reminder that she hadn’t been paying attention to clues that now seemed obvious.

Now she lay on her bed, hands clasped loosely on her stomach, kittens nestled in various places around the bed. She tried to close her eyes to sleep but wound up alternately staring at the ceiling and out the window. It was very warm, and the heat lay over her like a blanket, making her comfortable and sleepy but she didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to try to sort things out in her mind and gather herself together in preparation for going back downstairs to the others. She knew that she wouldn’t be allowed to hide in her room forever, but she needed to feel a bit more secure before facing Paul again.

She still had no idea what she would say to him if he actually came right out and told her of his feelings, but she tried to believe that the words would come if the time came. Meanwhile she just wanted to be able to be around him without the uncomfortable tension gripping her heart. The little angel tried to convince herself that she didn’t need to do anything but act naturally, but those words sounded hollow even in her head.

Soft kitten paws landed suddenly in the center of her chest and she let out a laugh, eyes focusing on the little fluff ball. “Hello, Angel. Am I not giving you enough attention?”

She reached up one hand and stroked the soft grey fur between the kittens ears, rewarded with a tiny buzz of a purr. The kitten quickly curled into a ball on her stomach and she continued to stroke it, her hand moving slower and slower. A soft breeze blew the curtains in like a sail, but Monica never noticed. Her hand was cupped gently over Angel’s little body, and her eyelids fluttered gently in sleep.

Downstairs, Paul was busy mixing paint and pouring it out into the trays. He looked up briefly when Andrew walked in and looked at him accusingly.

“You know that Monica will be annoyed when she finds out you finished up without her,” he said with a laugh.

“I know. I know,” Paul rolled his eyes. “I can’t help it. Without her down here keeping us on our toes, I’m going stir crazy myself. Anyway, I’m sure we can find another room for her to paint.”

Andrew picked up a brush and dipped it in one of the cans. “I have a feeling this whole house’ll be redone by the time we leave,” he said dryly.

“Yeah. Remind me to put it on my expense report. I think we all deserve some kind of special payment. What’s the going rate for painters these days?”

The blond angel laughed and he shook his head at Paul’s joke. He really liked the man, and he was reminded again exactly why. He was a good man, and had actually become a friend. He didn’t want to see him hurt anymore than Monica did, and he dreaded knowing that he probably would be.

His own jealousy seemed to have faded almost as soon as he spoke it aloud to Monica, leaving only feelings of concern for her and Paul. He hoped that she was actually sleeping upstairs and not just hiding from the admittedly uncomfortable situation. She had it in herself to get through just about anything, and he just hoped that she realized that.

*****

Monica was awakened by warm, kitteny breath against her chin. Angel had climbed up to sit right at the top of her chest, and was staring at her, clearly demanding food. She giggled softly and eased the kitten down onto the bed before sitting up and stretching her back. She blinked a few times, taking note of the fact that the sun had already begun its descent and was already glowing the orange-red of mid-afternoon.

“I’m sorry, little ones,” she said softly. “I didn’t expect to sleep that long!”

She made herself busy filling their little bowls with food and evaporated milk, patting each head and speaking quietly to them. After Tess’ visit she had decided not to think about what would become of them at the end of the assignment. She wondered idly if perhaps the Father could see fit to set aside a tiny space at Home for them. After all, Tess had had a dog at one time. Of course, the dog had been slightly more than ordinary, but it was still a thought…

A breeze passed through the room again, bringing with it the perfume of lilacs and freshly cut grass. As many times as she smelled those scents, she always felt filled with awe at the perfection of God’s creation. She wandered over to the open window and leaned against the sill, poking her head out as far as she could without hitting the screen. Breathing in the fresh air, so pure and clean, filled her with the confidence to head downstairs, and she carefully stepped over her little charges and shut the door behind herself.

She could hear Andrew and Paul in the kitchen, and she stepped a little faster, having an idea of what she would find.

“I thought we weren’t painting today!” she accused, hands on her hips and a stern look that refused to stay in place.

Andrew held up his hands, though with a paint roller in one of them, he looked anything but innocent. “It was all his idea.” He pointed to the agent who quickly turned back to the wall he was just finishing.

“I see,” the last word was elongated for effect but by the time Paul turned around she couldn’t keep a straight face.

Paul had the good grace to at least pretend to look ashamed as he looked at her. “Sorry, Monica… the paint was calling to us… you understand.”

Her laughter was the reply, and she shook her head, then turned in a circle to survey they nearly completed room. “That’s alright, because I was thinking that the living room could use some work too, and you have to admit that this color does look much better in here than that old white.”

Paul and Andrew exchanged a glance over the remark that they had practically predicted. In fact, Paul had already called to have some paint samples sent over for Monica to choose from.

“We promise not to finish without you next time,” Andrew said, “and to make up for it, Paul will cook you dinner.”

Monica pursed her mouth at her friend’s announcement, and her hands moved back to her hips. “He makes dinner for me every night.”

“Yes, but tonight it will be especially good,” Paul chimed in. He was glad that some of Monica’s good mood had returned. He had noticed a strange distance about her over breakfast, but now he guessed that he had been right about her just being tired.

She helped them clean up the mess from painting, and, as promised, Paul made a particularly fine meal, and he even let her mix the salad, after joking that he didn’t think she would be able to burn it no matter how hard she tried. Monica did find herself being careful about not standing too close to him, or looking into his eyes for too long, but she tried as hard as she could to act the way she had always acted around him. Part way through the evening she saw Andrew give her a knowing grin, and that alone encouraged her and let her know that she was successful in her efforts.

They actually ended up staying up quite late, talking about trivial matters… the types of flowers in the gardens around the house, the last books they had each read, simple, non-threatening conversation that steered clear of any mention of murder or witnesses or trials. Paul was surprised when he glanced at the clock and noticed that it was nearly one in the morning, and Monica was even more surprised.

“I guess my wee nap gave me more energy than I thought,” she said cheerfully.

Andrew smiled. “I guess so! Unfortunately if we don’t all get to bed soon I don’t think any of us will be up to painting tomorrow.”

Paul made his final rounds of the downstairs while Monica got herself a glass of water to take to her room, and then the three of them headed to the stairs, with Andrew setting the alarm as he passed it. The closer they got to their beds the more they were able to feel the fatigue that had been lurking inside, and their goodnights were brief as Paul and Andrew entered their rooms, leaving Monica to continue down the hall.

She opened the door carefully, not wanting to accidentally hit any of the kittens if they happened to be wandering nearby. “Hello little ones,” she called into the darkened room. “I’m back.”

One hand reached out to flick the light on as she bent to Sam, who seemed intent on escape. “No, no, baby… it’s time for bed now.” She stood up and cradled him next to her cheek.

As she looked over at the closed window and then at her bed, she suddenly felt her heart beating so loudly that she could hear the blood pounding in her ears. Her fingertips went ice cold, and her very skin tingled as her world seemed to fade out around the edges. The last thing she remembered was setting Sam on the chair next to the door before slumping bonelessly to the floor with only a strangled cry.

Chapter Twenty One

The sound of Monica’s cry brought Andrew and Paul bolting through her door. The angel’s eyes only briefly took in the scene as his blood ran cold, before he was on his knees beside of Monica. The little angel’s face was pasty white and he patted her cheek gently, trying to bring her around.

“Get her out of here, Andrew and try not to touch anything,” Paul ordered, his voice holding barely contained fury as the agent in him clearly began to take over. His expression was grim as he surveyed the room; the flowers on the window sill and the words painted above Monica’s bed, which read “Checkmate”. Realization filled him that this was now to an extent an inside job and he could not completely trust anyone other than Andrew.

The blond angel wordlessly gathered Monica into his arms and cradled her against his chest as he carried her into his own room, laying her down on his bed, just as she was beginning to come around. Her eyelashes fluttered before her dark eyes opened, confusion filling them for a moment before reality came crashing down once more as tremors shook through her.

With a frightened sob, she sat up and found the refuge in Andrew’s arms as she clung to him with all the strength in her being. She closed her eyes tightly as her tears came harder, “I want to go Home, Andrew…I just want to go Home..”

Anger surged through the angel as he held her tightly to himself, his entire body rigid with rage unlike any he had ever felt before, even as he struggled to come across as calm for her sake, “I know you do, angel. I know.” He longed to tell her that she was all right and that she was safe, but either would be a lie, so he just settled for rocking her gently in the hopes that she would calm eventually.

“The kittens!” She raised her head to look up at him through blurred vision, her voice bordering on hysteria, “Andrew-.”

“I’m sure they are fine, Angel Girl,” But one look at her face told him he needed to check to make sure. The problem was he didn’t want to leave her alone to find out and taking her back in that room was not even an option for him right now. But before he could consider what to do, Paul came through the door and deposited all five kittens on the bed.

Bursting into fresh tears upon seeing them all unharmed, Monica buried her face in Andrew’s chest once more, not caring that Paul was standing there. Though she didn’t want to hurt him any way, right now she needed the strength and comfort she could always find in Andrew, as the thread she was hanging onto was beginning to fray.

The agent exchanged a look with Andrew that clearly read, “How is she?” and he sighed softly as his partner only shook his head, “I need to work the crime scene in her room, Andrew. Stay with her. I’ve called for backup and every other agent on the premises is being taken in for questioning. McArthur isn’t working alone or he would have never gotten in here.”

“What?” Andrew asked incredulously, as he tightened his hold on the trembling angel in his arms, “Someone here that we have been trusting was helping him?”

“There is no other explanation,” Paul responded firmly with a shake of his head, “The security codes will be changed as well.”

“You mean…we’re staying?” Andrew’s voice held disbelief and tension, not liking at all what was being insinuated. Seeing Paul nod his head, it was all the angel could do to keep his voice controlled, “No, Paul. I want her out of here-.”

“Andrew, he has found her twice, this time in a matter of days. He’ll only find her again and our best bet for catching him at this point is to take every other precaution, but to stay here,” Paul argued softly, not wanting to upset Monica further.

“Her safety is the only important thing,” Andrew fumed, knowing his emotions were openly becoming tangled, but he was quickly finding his dearest friend’s fear and despair unbearable and for her to suddenly not have any feeling of security at all? He wasn’t at all sure she would be able to endure it.

His patience quickly coming to an abrupt halt in the face of this sudden catastrophe, the agent snapped back, “Don’t you get it, Andrew? She isn’t safe anywhere! He’s got help from an agent, maybe more than one, and the chances of us finding out who it is are slim to none at the moment. What do you suggest we do? Uproot her again and again?”

Andrew fell silent, the feeling of Monica shuddering in his arms as they argued over her safety devastating him. He knew his own anger was not at Paul, but at this game that was being played with her and at her safety once again being jeopardized. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt at this moment, though he could feel her terror in his heart, “No, of course not,” He conceded finally, leaving it at that until he could clearly deal with his emotions.

Sighing softly, Paul’s eyes rested on Monica’s head, though she never once looked up and he wondered why it was that with each new scare, it was always his partner who got to comfort her, but he couldn’t deal with that at the moment. He had a job to do once again, “I’ve got to get back in there, “ He muttered, before turning on his heel and exited the room, closing the door behind him in order to keep the kittens from escaping.

After a moment, Andrew slowly pulled away from his friend, wiping tears from her cheeks, before taking her face into his hands and searching her eyes. The things that he saw there made him want to weep himself but he knew he had to find a way to bring her back from the depths of despair, “Sweetheart?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore, Andrew,” She whimpered softly, her voice catching in sob that she was struggling to hold back, “I never knew how to begin with as no one has ever wanted to hurt me before and I don’t even understand it. It wasn’t my fault he saw me…it wasn’t my fault…”

“Of course it wasn’t, angel,” He whispered gently to her, “You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe the right place at the right time, depending on how you look at it, but either way, this had to be done and we both know it.”

“Then why? Why do I have to stay? I’ve tried so hard, Andrew. You know I have,” she pleaded.

It totally went against the way she would normally act, and he felt another wave of fury pass over him. This man had shredded her confidence in herself and in the whole human race, and it wasn’t something he had it in himself to forgive. He knew that God could forgive McArthur, but he was not God, and he only prayed that eventually, maybe, he would be able to be as generous, because at the moment he honestly couldn’t imagine his heart ever changing.

“Shhh… Angel… you know I’d take you away if I could. You know that,” he whispered, trying to make her understand something that even he could hardly fathom.

“But I promise I’ll do better on my next assignment, and I promise I’ll never stay longer than I’m supposed to,” she said through her tears, her childish bargaining hitting Andrew like a punch to the stomach.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Monica. Please believe me. Believe the Father. You spoke with Him… you know He loves you and knows how well you’ve done with everything that’s been thrown at you. You’ll get through this too. He’s with you right now, and so am I. Trust us both, angel.”

She trembled again and pulled herself closer to his chest, struggling to pull in her sobs and stop her tears. “I keep telling myself that… I do. But I…”

“Stop. No buts when it comes to trusting God, Monica,” he said as he kissed her forehead, “or me,” he whispered as an afterthought.

She nodded her head and said nothing, which to Andrew was almost as painful as her words. He continued to rock her back and forth, knowing that she was not going to fall asleep this time, but needing to do something to comfort her. She relaxed slightly, and he was happy enough with that small sign that he was helping her.

The calming sounds of the warm night were drowned out by the activity within the house. It was one more sign that their tentative peace had been disturbed. The heavy footfalls of numerous agents trampling through the house hardly seemed to phase the little angel, but Andrew found himself wondering, at each one, if it belonged to the man who had betrayed his best friend.

“Father,” he whispered in his heart, “please grant me peace. I have never been so afraid of myself.”

The angel’s thoughts were interrupted when Paul reentered the room some time later. The agent’s face was drawn in anxiety and anger, his hands curling in and out of fists. Monica remained nearly motionless within Andrew’s arms, and her nearly catatonic state only further upset the man. The fact that he knew his partner was angry with him as well, for insisting that they stay, also did nothing to help his mood.

“Anything?”

Paul shook his head. “No prints or anything so far… but let’s face it; we all know who it was,” he said with disgust. “They’re still questioning the last of the men from outside, but for all we know it was someone on the day shift. They’ll have to be questioned as well, and unless a miracle occurs and one of them confesses, I’m going to request that they all be reassigned for the moment. We’ll get replacements until I know for sure who I can trust.”

“He could have killed her tonight,” Andrew said coldly, knowing that Monica was practically beyond hearing his words.

Paul let out a breath and his eyes traced the little angel’s delicate features. “No one knows that better than I do.”

The sense of defeat and helplessness was evident in Paul’s every word and motion, and Andrew knew that the agent was doing the best that he could in an impossible situation. He knew that Paul’s affections, after only knowing Monica for a relatively brief time, couldn’t begin to compare with his own, but that didn’t change the fact that the man clearly cared for her and this was hurting him as well.

“We’ll get him, Paul,” Andrew felt driven to reassure him.

Paul’s eyes turned to ice within a matter of seconds. “Yes we will.”

A stirring from the Irish angel made both agents glance down at her. She pulled away from Andrew slightly and tried to clear her eyes of tears as best she could. She hadn’t been paying attention to anything beyond her fervent prayers to the Father for guidance and help, but now she looked at them and knew that she had to hold on for a while longer for their sakes as well as her own.

“What now,” she whispered, still keeping in contact with the angel who felt like her lifeline at the moment.

“Now you try to get at least a little sleep. Nothing else is going to happen tonight, Monica,” Paul assured her. “You can sleep in here tonight and we’ll take turns staying with you.”

She was alert enough to know that she wouldn’t be able to get any sleep at all unless Andrew was beside her, and quickly spoke up. “That’s alright. I’ll be fine alone.”

Paul looked doubtful, but a small trace of stubbornness crept into her eyes, and he didn’t want to do anything to challenge her. “Fine… if you’re sure. There’s another room next door… Andrew can take that one.”

The blond angel nodded, knowing in his heart that he would be spending the night comforting the angel he already held in his arms.

By the time the house had quieted at long last, it was nearly 5:00 in the morning and the house was dark with the exception of the bedside light in Andrew’s bedroom. The Irish angel was unable to face the darkness as the sun had yet to rise and she lay completely wide awake, even as her slight body continued to tremble at now being alone, regardless of how brief a time it had been.

Andrew had left for his room only minutes ago, his eyes telling her he would be returning as soon as Paul retired, and now she waited, almost feeling frantic without his calming presence next to her. She was convinced that even if she closed her eyes for a moment, that something in the room would change and she was reminded once again that she very well could be being watched by someone other than a handful of agents.

This man had known she had not been in her room last night, so just as easily, he could know where she was at this moment and that fact only left her feeling more alone and vulnerable. While she knew God was always with her, the need for someone to physically hold onto at the moment was overpowering as each day she was beginning to feel more and more human and less angelic. She knew in her heart who she was and to Whom she belonged but those facts were doing little right now to bring her any peace.

“Father, help me,” Monica whispered through the fresh tears that filled her tired eyes, “I’m so afraid.”

As soon as the words were said, the soft glow of her best friend filled the room and she pushed herself up to seek his embrace and immediately found what she was seeking.

“I’m here, honey,” Andrew whispered to her, feeling her nestle into his arms as silent tears escaped her. He longed to be able to soothe her to sleep, but he had a feeling it wasn’t going to happen tonight.

After a long silence, Monica spoke up, never moving from her current position and never wanting to ever again, “He came in through the window.”

“Monica, what-.” He struggled to comprehend was she was telling him as it wasn’t what he had expected from her, but she quickly albeit shakily explained.

“I left it open. It was closed when we came upstairs. That’s how he got in,” She whispered, as if this simple fact would change everything.

He had a feeling that on some level his friend was in shock; her mind no longer able to handle all that had been thrown at her and he struggled once again with his own fury. He took these threats against her personally despite the fact that for the killer, this wasn’t personalized at all. McArthur didn’t know Monica. He had no idea of the gentle, caring little soul that she was. He didn’t care that hurting anyone was not an option for her. This man knew nothing of the innocent way the angel had looked at the world before any of this had begun, with a childlike awe and wonder. No, instead he had stripped that from her in a terrifying and cruel way and those facts left Andrew enraged. How dare anyone try to change the sweet, trusting creature that she had always been and replace those traits with fear and vulnerability that left her almost paralyzed?

His expression softened as he realized how quiet she had become and he ran his fingers lightly through her hair, “Why don’t you try to get some sleep, angel?”

“Not until the sun comes up,” She never raised her head, feeling unable to move from her safe haven.

“I’m right here with you and you know I won’t allow anything to happen to you,” He tried to reassure her as he gently pulled away from her embrace, distress filling his green eyes at her obvious panic over this action, but he strengthened his resolve and helped her to lie down. His hand then immediately found her face, brushing her long hair back from her cheek and swiping at the occasional tear.

“Why is this happening?” Monica whispered brokenly, her voice so low it left him wondering if she was questioning herself or him.

He wanted to tell her that he didn’t know, but he knew he had to do better than that. “He needs to be brought to justice, angel and you are the one who can do that.”

“But it won’t bring Josh back; it won’t restore a family.”

She was losing her hope and her fight, even if she was only showing it to him and not to Paul. She was having trouble seeing beyond her own fear and he could only pray that some of it was being fueled by emotional exhaustion, “But it will bring them peace,” He replied softly, knowing that at least that much was true.

“He was in my room, Andrew…my room and someone here was helping him. Fine, I saw Josh’s killer, but this other person…what did I do to them?” She was trying so hard to understand; to be able to wrap her mind around why anyone would want to harm her and she was far too tired to figure it out, yet her mind refused to stop asking the questions.

“Nothing. Angel Girl, you didn’t do anything to warrant any of this and in your heart you know that,” He rested his hand against her cheek, seeing the pleading look in her swollen brown eyes, “Some humans have no conscience and they resist God with everything inside of them. Monica, this man wants to scare you…”

“It’s working,” She interrupted, reaching for his other hand which he willingly gave to her to hold, “Please don’t leave me. You’re the only thing that feels safe.”

“I’m not leaving and God will keep you safe, Monica. You’re His angel, sweetheart.”

“Andrew, I don’t even remember what that feels like,” Her voice trembled as her eyes brimmed with tears once again.

Crestfallen at her words, he offered up a silent prayer before a slow smile spread across his face and he squeezed her hand, “The Father and I have something to show you, angel.”

A moment later, Monica found herself out of doors, bathed in the soft glow of God’s love as she stood beside of Andrew overlooking a crystal blue lake. There was mist coming off the water, creating the illusion of small white clouds and looking up, she could see that the sun was just beginning to rise up into the sky, which was streaked with the darkness of a fading night, now with brilliant streaks of red and orange swirling together creating a kaleidoscope of color.

Her exhaustion and fear were temporarily forgotten as a tearful, yet happy smile graced her face, “Thank you, Father,” She whispered before turning to her best friend and standing up on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his neck as she kissed his cheek, “Thank you for asking.”

“You needed a reminder and the Father and I wanted to make sure you got one,” Andrew replied as she pulled away to look once again out over the lake. Walking up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and felt her lean back into him. Lowering his head to her ear, he spoke softly to her, “I know this has been hard, angel, but don’t forget what you are and Who loves you so very much. God is here for the long haul, Monica, and so am I.”

Andrew smiled as she nodded her head, nestling her head underneath of his chin, as together, in silence, they watched the sun rise into the sky.

Chapter Twenty Two

If Monica did not exactly sleep peacefully after they returned to the house, Andrew was at least happy that she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift into a sort of restless slumber. She hadn’t allowed him to move even as far away as the chair, and so he lay on the bed propped against the pillows, her small form curled next to him, arm stretched across his chest and head tucked against his shoulder.

He kept his eyes alternating between the window, where the rising sun was just becoming visible over the treetops, and the door, where he expected Paul to be knocking at any time. The house had only settled down a few hours earlier, but he had a feeling that even without the angelic ability to go without sleep, Paul would soon be waking and anxious to check on Monica.

As another ray of sun pushed its way into the room, Andrew tried to gently pull away from the angel lying beside him, but she seemed to sense his movement, and clutched his shirt tighter. He had tried to leave several times in the past few minutes, and each time he had met with the same resistance. He was loathe to wake her. Even if it was a troubled sleep, it was still sleep, and he knew that in her human form she needed all of the rest she could get. However, he knew he couldn’t stay much longer without the real threat of being discovered. Glancing again at the door, he wondered how much longer they would be able to keep their secret from Paul.

He turned back to the little angel and tenderly brushed a bit of hair away from her face, noting her overly pale skin and the dark shadows beneath her eyes. He had never seen her so exhausted and it both frightened and enraged him. Lying awake next to her, he had been given ample opportunity to dwell on everything that had happened over the course of the assignment, and with each bad memory his anger at McArthur had grown.

“Please, Father,” he prayed in a whisper, “if it be your will, let him be caught before he comes here again… don’t let me be the one to catch him.”

Even that very quiet sound had been enough to bring Monica from her light sleep, but she kept her eyes closed when she heard the tone in her best friend’s voice. She had gone through times when she had been completely aggravated and frustrated with the humans she tried so hard to help, and at first that was what she thought she was sensing from Andrew. Then she heard his last words and she knew that those feelings didn’t begin to touch the dark anger she could feel coming from his heart. She squeezed her eyes shut a little tighter; hating the fact that he was feeling that way, and unable to ignore the fact that in her mind she was at least partially responsible.

She moved slightly, just enough to let him know that she was waking, and felt his hand stroke the side of her face. “Good morning,” she said as she opened her eyes, though she wasn’t sure what could possibly be good about it other than the fact that at least it was no longer dark.

“You should keep sleeping,” he whispered. “It’s still early.”

“No,” she shook her head. “Paul will be waking up and you need to leave,” she told him.

“But you can still sleep, Monica,” he insisted.

Her sad eyes left his face and he knew what she was about to say. “Not without you here… I know I shouldn’t be so afraid after what you showed me…”

“Shhh… God didn’t show you that expecting you to suddenly feel better about everything. It was something to make you remember and believe that things will work out according to His plan. He doesn’t need you to hide your fear or anything else.”

She sighed and looked into his caring eyes. “I know… but I still wish that I could be stronger right now.”

“Don’t worry so much about the way you think you should be… the way you are is perfect.”

One corner of her mouth curled up for a moment and she reached up to smooth back an errant lock of his blond hair. “Thank you, Andrew.” She looked at the door, sure that she could hear footsteps nearby. “You’d better go now. I’ll see you downstairs.”

Truthfully, Andrew hated leaving her even for a moment when she still seemed so vulnerable, but she was right. Those footsteps had to be Paul’s, and he was bound to check in on her. He stood up and walked to the kittens’ basket, where Sam and his brothers and sisters lay sleeping. He gently picked up the largest kitten and carried him back over to Monica.

“He can keep you company for a few minutes,” he said with a kind smile, and then he was gone, and she was left clutching the small animal and kissing his tiny nose.

She drew in a deep breath, hating the feeling of panic that immediately began to consume her upon Andrew’s absence. She had no desire to be alone and keeping the kitten in her arms, she got up from the bed, running a shaky hand through her tousled hair. She had slept the little that she had in yesterday’s clothes, so she saw no need to spend another second alone.

Opening the door, she immediately came face to face with Paul and looking at him, she knew he hadn’t gotten any sleep either and there was still anger set in his usually kind face, much like the anger she had seen reflected in Andrew’s eyes only moments ago. It further troubled her to see it in the agent as well.

Paul’s eyes searched hers, clearly seeing her fatigue and hating it. Though he had known that sleep would probably be restless, he had at least been hoping she might catch a few hours, but he immediately knew that had not happened for her. Her eyes alone held a glassy glaze and the only other vivid emotion contained in the was raw fear and it broke his heart.

“Monica, you look like you could stand to turn right back around and get some sleep,” He stated gently, hoping he could convince her.

“I’m okay,” She replied wearily, managing a small smile, “I just need a shower and a change of clothes and I’ll be fine,” She rubbed her eyes with her fingers, trying to make herself feel more alert, but she was failing miserably.

“Let me get your things out of the other room, honey,” Paul offered, not wanting to run the risk of her setting foot back in that room until the investigation was finished and fresh paint had been applied to the walls.

Monica watched as he opened the door to what had once been her room, knowing it would take him forever to find where she had placed things. Summoning all her courage, she took a step towards the door, only to be stopped by a gentle hand from behind.

“I’ll help him, angel,” Andrew stated gently, yet firmly, seeing the relief that flooded her eyes, “Just tell me where you put things.”

“The dresser in the far corner and the closet,” She relayed softly, feeling the familiar burn of tears in her eyes, “I’ll need the kittens’ things as well.”

“Consider it done,” Andrew smiled at her, trying to console her with that when all he wanted to do was to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go again.

She nodded her head, wiping at her eyes and knowing her exhaustion was making her emotions go haywire, “I’ll go and make coffee. I have a feeling we could all use a cup.”

Giving her shoulder a squeeze, he went to join Paul, making certain to close the door firmly behind him.

Deactivating the security code first, the angel headed downstairs, her footsteps slow and heavy as once again she felt the prickling feeling on the back of her neck at being on her own once more and she found herself glancing behind her every few seconds.

She gasped as she walked into the kitchen, surprised to find a man she didn’t recognize standing there as the color drained from her already pale face and she stood rooted to where she stood.

He looked up, seeing her obvious fear and wanting to be quick about alleviating it, “It’s all right, Monica. I’m one of the agents now assigned here,” His voice was soothing and he felt terrible for frightening her, especially after what he knew had happened last night, “I’m Nathan and I’m sorry to have scared you. I was expecting Paul or Andrew.”

The little angel struggled to control the wild beating of her heart as she managed to nod her head as her eyes came to rest on the vase of flowers that Nathan was holding, “Do all agents come bearing flowers?” She joked shakily as she moved nearer to the coffee pot, still feeling completely unsettled. When the agent didn’t answer her, she turned back around and saw the deer in the headlights look that had come over him.

Seeing the questioning look in her eyes, he knew he had to respond, “You weren’t supposed to see these. They were just delivered…for you.”

Monica felt her heart pounding in her ears as her eyes remained focused on the vase of wildflowers Nathan was holding and she didn’t even realize that Andrew and Paul had just walked into the kitchen. She felt as if all she could hear was the sound of her heart and her own breathing as she took a step nearer to Nathan and her hand trembled as she reached for the card that was embedded within the flowers.

“Monica, don’t-.” Andrew pleaded, but his plea fell upon deaf ears as he and Paul watched tensely as she opened the card.

Her hands shook as she tore open the envelope, already knowing who they were from before she read the simple, yet chilling message, “Thanks for last night. We’ll do it again soon.”

Andrew was poised, ready to rush in as soon as she fell apart, but what he saw was a look of complete and utter anger crossed her tired face and this new emotion was a concern for him in itself.

“What does he want from me?” She cried out, hot, angry tears flooding her eyes as she held the card in her hand still. Her vision blurred as she looked at Paul, then Andrew, “If he wants to come in here and kill me, then fine! But I don’t understand this game! If he wants me to be afraid, then fine, I am!” A sob escaped her as she moved to the back door and flung it open, “I’m afraid, all right? You win!” Angrily, she slammed her palms against the screen, “Do you hear me? You win!”

Andrew and Paul were both shocked by Monica’s outburst. In all the time that she had been under their protection, she had never once uttered a word in anger. Grief, perhaps… fear and frustration, certainly, but never anger. The blond angel quickly moved towards her, and he placed a hand on Monica’s shoulder and pulled her away from the door gently.

“Monica,” he started, but was quickly cut off.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” she said, shrugging off his hand.

She quickly relented, the angry lines in her face softening as shock filled her eyes at the way she had just spoken to her dearest friend. She tried to meet his eyes and convey an apology, but then Paul was there, turning her to face him. He stared into her eyes, his own face taking on some of her anger.

“I’m not going to tell you to calm down,” he assured her. “I’m glad you’re letting it out. I want you to give this bastard a piece of your mind… You should be angry. Hell, I’m furious and it isn’t my life he’s messing with. I’d let you shout it from the roof if I thought it would help.”

Hearing Paul agree with her outburst served to allow some of her anger to seep back into her heart, but it couldn’t erase the hint of guilt she felt when she glanced at Andrew. The angel’s expression was a mixture of anger and frustration, but in his eyes she could see the concern he held for her, and she knew that it stemmed from a fear that she was letting McArthur change who she was. She quickly looked away from him, remembering his tone of voice from just that morning. He was on the edge of fury himself… how could he possibly expect her to feel any differently?

“Monica,” Andrew tried again, but the look in her eyes made him pause, and instead of guiding her to the table he stepped back, giving her space.

“I… I think I need to be alone for a minute,” she said, voice very controlled, without a hint of tears although her sorrow was evident.

Neither Paul nor Andrew stopped her as she made her way out of the room and in a moment they heard her light footsteps on the stairs. They looked at each other, knowing that she was probably going to look in on her kittens, and both of them hoped that the little creatures would serve to bring her back to center.

While Andrew seemed to be more worried about her outburst, Paul was very concerned as well. He hadn’t been able to finish what he wanted to say to her. Yes, he was glad that she was letting her anger out, but he didn’t want it to overtake all of the other good and gentle parts of her personality.

Andrew couldn’t help looking towards the ceiling when he heard his bedroom door open and close. He longed to go to her, to let her air everything that she was feeling to him, but he knew that he couldn’t just rush up there. In the first place, Paul would certainly ask him where he was going, and in the second place he didn’t think she really wanted to talk to him at the moment. He just hoped that she was taking this time to talk to the Father.

Monica ran nervous fingers through her long hair and she let out a long sigh, feeling her heart finally return to a normal pace. She still couldn’t quite comprehend what had happened downstairs, her mind spinning over both the fact that the killer was continuing to torment her, and her reaction to it.

Paul’s attitude had served to give her strength while she was downstairs. His anger on her behalf was enough to keep hers going, but then she thought of Andrew’s stunned expression. Anger had never been a part of who she was, and no matter what had happened, it didn’t feel right; at least not that kind of unbridled fury. That was part of why she had been so saddened to hear Andrew’s brief prayer. It had told her that he was struggling with those same feelings.

The kittens, completely oblivious to everything that had happened, scampered happily around the angel’s feet. They were simply glad to have their surrogate mother back with them. Monica felt her heart grow a little bit lighter as she looked at them, and she moved further into the room and sat down cross-legged on the floor. Their lovingness and innocence reminded her of the way she had felt prior to that horrible night. She wanted more than anything to get those feelings back, but she knew that she had seen and felt too much, and she would never be entirely the same.

“Father,” she whispered softly, “I know that I can’t go back to the way things were, but please help me to at least try. Please help me to be strong without this terrible anger in my heart.”

This time there was no light or warmth, and no beautiful sunrise to let her know that she had been heard. Instead she looked down at her kittens, and she looked into their trusting eyes, and she knew that He was listening to her, as always.

“What florist did they come from?” Paul asked Nathan, his voice tight as he scribbled down notes on a pad. His rage was continuing to flow and it was all he could do to keep focused, especially now that he and Andrew had both read the card.

“Casey’s,” Nathan replied, sitting down at the table with the other two agents, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for her to see them, but she asked and-.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Paul interrupted, though he also wished Monica could have been spared this on a morning that had just followed a very long night, “I may go down there and question Casey myself and find out how he made the arrangements.”

“I’ll go,” Andrew heard himself say and he was almost surprised at his own offer. But the truth was that he needed a little space himself as his anger was running wild. He knew that Paul found Monica’s anger perfectly normal and acceptable under the circumstances, but his partner didn’t know the little angel the way that he did. Anger like that was not generally a part of her and it left him feeling unsettled and more than slightly concerned. Add to that, the fact that she didn’t really seem interested in seeing him right now and it just seemed like a good time to give her the space she had requested.

Paul nodded his head in agreement as he looked at his partner, “I could send another agent, but at this point, I’d just feel better if it were you or I that went.”

The angel nodded his head almost feeling a guilty tug at his heart for offering to go. Under normal circumstances he would have prefered it been Paul so he could steal some uninhibited time with his best friend, but things seemed to be turning on a dime the last twenty-four hours. His thoughts were distrupted as he saw a coldness come over Paul’s expression and Andrew raised his eyebrows in question.

“The killer is picking up the momentum, Andrew, and we need to be more careful now than we have ever been. He has Monica completely in knots, which is right where he wants her and his goal now would be for you and I to be running in circles chasing our tails.”

“You think he may try something again tonight.” Andrew stated, feeling his stomach twist at the mere suggestion.

“It wouldn’t surprise me in the least. I think he is going to keep building this thing; its all a part of the game he is playing and I’ve seen it before. He doesn’t want any of the three of us to have any time to regroup as that would make his job all the more difficult.”

“Then let me get going so I can get back,” He rose to his feet, suddenly completely anxious to do what he had volunteered to do and then get back here to Monica. Taking Paul’s proffered car keys, Andrew gave his head a brief nod in Nathan’s direction, before he headed out the door.

Chapter Twenty Three

Some time later, Monica walked slowly into the kitchen for the second time that day, feeling relief at seeing a pot of coffee on the burner. Her body felt on the verge of collapse while her adrenaline fueled fear seemed to be keeping her in a constant state of alert and she wondered when the next time would be that sleep finally came.

“Feeling any better?” Paul asked, having heard her come downstairs from his study and immediately coming out to meet her. The vivid exhaustion on her face went right to his heart and he noticed the way her hand shook has she attempted to pour herself a cup of coffee, which at this point, he was certain would only make her jittery combined with her lack of sleep.

Coming up behind her, he carefully took the coffee pot and mug from her and set them down on the counter before turning her around to face him, “Sit,” He ordered gently, “I’ll get it.”

“Thank you,” She looked up at him gratefully, before moving to the table and sinking into a chair as Paul poured them each a cup of coffee and set them down on the table before placing the milk and sugar before her as well, “Where is Andrew?”

“He went down to question the florist about who requested the flower delivery. He should be back shortly,” He replied to her as he poured some milk into his own mug after she had finished.

Monica hastily lowered her eyes, not wanting Paul to pick up on the vast array of emotions that flooded them at his words. The guilt she felt over snapping at him this morning was overwhelming. He had been so wonderful through this entire thing and he had only been trying to calm her earlier as her emotions had raged out of her control. He had sacrificed nights to sit with her so she could sleep and had taken her to the lake this morning and in turn, she had lashed out and right now it felt as if she had chased him away and that left her feeling more than frightened. There was no way she could continue on this road without him by her side, of that much she was certain and she felt her heart crying out to him to please come back.

“Monica?” Paul frowned as he watched her look dazedly back up at him.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper this morning. I don’t know what came over me…” She stammered weakly, wrapping her chilled fingers around the warm mug.

“You’re exhausted, and McArthur is toying with your emotions, Monica. I know exactly what came over you and it was perfectly normal.”

“Not for me, it wasn’t,” The angel whispered, trying to reign in her feelings once more, knowing that there was another question she needed to ask, “Paul, in your professional opinion, what do you think is going to happen next?”

He fell silent for a moment, knowing at this point, she deserved the truth, but than again, she always had, “He’s picking up his pace, sweetheart,” He told her softly as his eyes held her gaze, “And we need to be prepared for anything right now,” He watched as her eyes clouded over then cleared as she forced back the tears and he reached for her hand and held it tightly in his own, “He isn’t going to win, Monica.”

“It feels like he already has,” She uttered, knowing that Paul had no idea of the changes that she had felt come over herself and she struggled for a way to elaborate, “Paul, do you believe in God?”

Her question took him by surprise as he pondered it for a moment before answering, “I suppose that I do. I’d like to believe that there is something more after this life.”

She nodded her head, not even concerned at the moment that he was still holding onto her hand, “I’ve always believed that God made all people basically good at heart. Sometimes they lose their way or get sidetracked, but they are still made in His image and therefore good by nature,” She squeezed his hand, the need to be holding onto someone still present, “This man defies everything I’ve ever believed and I feel betrayed by that knowledge.”

“But isn’t it possible, Monica, that some people lose their way so extremely that they never find their way back?” He questioned, wanting to instill her confidence in people once more, despite the fact that he wasn’t sure he believed in her theory. He truthfully didn’t think men like McArthur had a decent bone in their body and the more he saw of men like him, the more he wondered if evil wasn’t an easier achievement for many people.

She shrugged her shoulders and sighed, “Maybe, but to say that implies that they have no desire to return to goodness and I’m not sure I can exist with that reality,” Hastily, she wiped at a tear that had fallen onto her cheek before she released his hand and rose to her feet, “I’m going to go and take a shower. Excuse me.”

Paul sadly watched her leave the kitchen clearly able to feel the heaviness of her heart that still lingered in the room.

*****

The long empty road stretched out in front of him, and Andrew was wondering why he had ever volunteered to go to the florist’s. Even if she had pulled away from him, he knew her well enough to know that it had just been the shock of the situation and that she was probably tearing herself up with regret at that very moment. He stepped on the gas and tightened his hands on the wheel.

The trip had largely been a waste of time, as McArthur had phoned the order in, and even after tracing the number back he had only turned up a pay phone in a busy part of the town. Now he just wanted to get back to the house as quickly as possible before McArthur tried anything else. He had begun to abandon the hope that this would have a peaceful resolution and instead he was trying to brace himself for all of the possibilities.

Mainly he was trying to get his own anger in check so that he would be able to act from his head and not his conflicted heart. He knew what God expected of him. He expected His angels to act with His words as their guide, words that had mercy and love and forgiveness as their very basis, but Andrew was struggling with his current inability to find it within his heart to forgive the man who had perpetrated such evil acts.

“Please come back.” The words whispered to his heart were filled with such fear and remorse that they struck like a physical blow.

“I’m coming,” he said aloud, hoping that the words would be enough to hold her until he could.

The rest of the drive passed by in a blur and he couldn’t think about his fears any more, or even spare another thought for what could happen in the future. He was too caught up in the present moment and the fact that his dearest friend needed him and he was miles away from her. The additional security around the house was yet another hindrance to him and he had to make an effort to remain patient with the new officers who weren’t as familiar with him and insisted upon looking at all of his identification.

When he at last opened the front door he was surprised by the silence. His own heart was in such a turmoil that somehow it only seemed right for that same commotion to exist in the physical world. His shoes sounded impossibly loud on the wooden floor and he wasn’t at all surprised when the noise brought Paul out from his traditional spot in the kitchen.

“Anything?” the agent asked, knowing the answer just by the look on Andrew’s face.

“No, but I guess we both knew he’d be too smart to leave a forwarding address,” he said with a touch of sarcasm.

“Yeah, but you always hope that the guy’ll screw up somewhere,” Paul’s shoulders slumped a bit and his chest rose and fell on a sigh.

Andrew glanced at the stairs. “She’s upstairs?” he asked, knowing that she was, but unable to simply rush to her side without some explanation to Paul.

“She headed up there about twenty minutes ago. I was just about to check in on her.”

The angel lowered his eyes, not to hide the jealousy, which had nearly faded to the background, but the mask the sadness that he felt for Monica. She had already felt like a butterfly under glass, and now she couldn’t even be by herself for more than a few minutes without a babysitter. As much as he did not want to encounter McArthur, a small part of his heart hoped that the man would try something, just to get it over with. It suddenly seemed as though nothing could possibly be worse than the suspense.

Knowing he couldn’t interfere with Paul going up to check on her, the angel offered up a silent prayer and a moment later the back door opened and Nathan stepped inside.

“Paul, can you come and take a look at something? We think we discovered how your killer got in here last night,” Nathan’s expression was grim as he tentatively waited with the door open.

Paul sighed and looked at his partner, “Will you check on Monica then, while I take care of this?”

“Of course,” Andrew replied, anxious to get up the stairs but forcing himself to wait until Paul and Nathan had exited the house before taking the steps two at a time. He knocked on her door softly before opening it and watched as she turned around from where she was looking out the window, her grief stricken face tearing at his heart.

“I’m sorry,” Monica whispered, tears just below the surface in her dark eyes, “Andrew, I’m so sorry…”

In the two steps it took for him to close the distance between them, she had wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her face against his chest, “Shhh, angel. You have nothing to apologize for,” He told her gently, his hand resting against the back of her head.

“You’ve been so good to me and have been here for me and I had no right to snap at you like that,” She uttered regretfully as she clung tightly to him, “When Paul told me you had left, I felt as if I had chased you away…”

“Never going to happen, Angel Girl,” He reassured her, “It would take much more than a few angry words to get rid of me, so I’m afraid you’re just going to be stuck with my presence for all eternity.”

Despite everything, she raised her head and managed a smile as she looked up into his eyes, “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day, Andrew.”

Grinning back at her, he winked, “Glad I could oblige then,” Seeing the utter exhaustion in her face, his expression turned to one of concern, “Why don’t you try to get a little sleep, Monica? You look ready to drop…”

But his request was met with a shake of her auburn head, “No. If he’s coming back, I want to be prepared and not asleep.”

“And you think that staying awake indefinitely is going to make you prepared to deal with this?” He questioned her as gently as he could, “Honey, he’s wearing you down and he isn’t going to try anything here in the daylight.”

“But Andrew, you can’t stay with me during the day.”

Her words hit him hard and even harder was the realization that she was right. The little angel was too frightened to be without him and completely unwilling to allow herself to try to sleep alone as it made her feel even more vulnerable than she already did.

“Come with me,” He took her hand and led her down the stairs and to the living room. Turning to face her, he laid his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her down onto the couch, “Lie down, angel. I won’t leave the room. I promise.” Knowing she was too tired to argue, he laid the pillows down so she could rest her head on them and covered her with the afghan that was on the back of the sofa.

Her tired eyes met with his as she smiled sleepily, “Thank you,” She whispered, her eyelids already beginning to droop.

“You’re welcome,” He smiled, sitting on the edge of the sofa for a moment as Paul was still out of the house. Softly, he brushed his fingers along her cheek, relieved when her eyes closed and her pensive expression relaxed somewhat.

Nestling down under the afghan, she began to drift off, her best friend’s calming touch soothing her weary soul as she murmured from the brink of sleep, “I love you…”

Leaning down, he kissed her temple lovingly as he heard her even breathing, wondering if she could even begin to fathom right now just how deeply those words were reciprocated.

*****

Monica slept through most of the afternoon, and Paul didn’t have to ask why Andrew seemed intent upon staying with her. In fact he moved all of his files, and his laptop computer into the living room and set up shop there himself. Radios kept him in contact with the other agents on the property and there were long periods of time where the silence was broken only by the disembodied voices of the men checking in to report that all was well.

As the time wore on, Andrew kept himself busy reading, but he frequently found himself reading the same sentence over and over again before giving up to stare off into nothing, his mind too occupied to really concentrate. It was during one of those idle times that he caught a glimpse of Paul’s face and was struck by his expression. The agent was staring at the Irish angel, his eyes filled with tears and his face set in a mask of sorrow that spoke of much more than the current situation.

He looked up sharply, sensing his partner’s eyes on him and quickly blinked away the shine in his eyes. “I guess this is getting to all of us,” he tried to explain, but Andrew could tell that there was more to it than that.

Several times over the course of their brief partnership, Paul had made off-hand and very brief references to something that had happened in the past. Now, with tension already filling the air around them, Andrew was suddenly getting the strong feeling that it was time to find out what was behind them.

He held Paul’s gaze as he spoke. “Yeah, I think that’s pretty understandable,” he paused and nodded towards Monica’s sleeping form, “but just now it looked like you were seeing someone other than Monica.”

Paul was leaning forward, forearms resting on his knees, and now his head fell forward and he stared at his clasped hands. “Maybe,” he muttered.

A minute ticked by and neither of them moved until Paul slowly raised his head and found himself once again staring into Andrew’s eyes. Their deep concern was like nothing the agent had ever seen before, and it worked on something within his soul, untying knots and boxes of memories that had been contained for so long he had nearly forgotten how to voice them.

“Her name was Lauren,” he started speaking quietly. “It was three years ago now,” he continued, shaking his head. “God, sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it feels like it never happened at all except in a dream.”

“She was another witness,” Andrew stated.

“Her parents were killed in an explosion set up by a sleazy small-time crime boss. She was all set to testify against him, but he had a bunch of his guys out looking for her.”

He stopped speaking, seemingly lost in the distant memories as his eyes clouded over and he turned them once more to Monica’s face. “She looked a lot like her,” he said with a sad smile. “Of course she wasn’t nearly as trusting as Monica. Oh no, she was a tough nut to crack, that one,” he chuckled at the memory even as the tears welled in his eyes.

“What happened?” Andrew asked gently, hoping that talking about it would bring some closure to the agent.

“Well, we were holed up together for a good long time… nearly three months just to start with, and the whole time I worked on getting her to let her defenses down just a little bit.”

“Did she?”

Paul looked up at Andrew, and his expression seemed to say it all. “Yeah, a little too much… and I let mine down too… next thing I knew we were talking about our future together and the two point four kids we’d have running around our grassy lawn.”

“But that never happened,” Andrew said, already knowing the answer.

“No.” Paul’s eyes closed, and when they reopened there was a frightening glint in them that Andrew had only seen one time before… right after the cat had been discovered in the barn. “Like I said, I let my defenses down too much. I was so sure we were safe… that nothing could possibly touch us… what the hell was I thinking?” His voice rose as he berated himself, his hands making angry fists over the arms of the chair he sat in.

“Paul… you don’t…” Andrew didn’t want to force the man to rehash such painful memories and he was beginning to doubt the wisdom of pushing him in the first place.

“No.. it’s alright, you might as well know. Maybe then you’ll understand why I’m so protective of her,” he said, motioning to the sleeping angel. “We were on our way to her first court appearance. Everything seemed fine… no problems… until the bullet crashed in through the windshield when we were caught in traffic a block from the courthouse.”

“I’m--”

Paul held up his hand. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I’ve heard that more times than anyone needs to in a lifetime. It wasn’t your fault… it wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine.”

“No, it wasn’t your fault either,” Andrew shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow for this good man.

Paul didn’t even bother to argue. “She died right there in my arms,” he said, looking down at his hands, almost as though he could see her there. “I know there wasn’t any pain… it was too quick for that…” His mouth tightened into a line, and he swallowed a few times before looking up. “So there you have it… the sordid tale of my past. We caught the animal who did it an hour later, but I didn’t even care. We caught him and I testified against him myself, and then I went right back to work. I figured I’d never have another case like that again… in fact I promised myself that I wouldn’t… and now I’m dealing with another low-life who wants to do the same thing to Monica.”

Andrew knew what Paul was thinking and somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if part of Paul’s affection for Monica was driven by the memories of his love for Lauren. He also wondered just how far Paul would go to put McArthur out of commission. Then he felt his heart grow cold as he had to wonder the same thing about himself.

All of their talking, combined with the sound of a car pulling up the driveway, served to wake Monica from her somewhat restless sleep, and she blinked up at them, taking a moment to remember where she was, and why she was there.

“Have you been here all this time?” she asked in between a yawn and a little stretch.

“Pretty much,” Paul replied, smiling and handing her an insulated mug of coffee. “This keeps it so hot I can’t even drink it after an hour in the car, so it should still be good.” He was trying his best to push the memories he had just unearthed back into their neat and tidy places, but Andrew could see the emotions that lay just below the surface.

“How about a late lunch?” the angel asked, rising to his feet and hoping that Monica would follow suit. She hadn’t eaten a thing all day, and he doubted that all the coffee she was drinking was doing her quite human stomach any favors.

She looked about to refuse, but a second look at her best friend made her relent. She knew that she needed to eat, and after the way she had behaved earlier she didn’t want to give him or Paul any trouble. She took her time carefully folding the afghan before returning it to its place on the back of the sofa. It was such a small thing to do, but making it perfect was a tiny way to feel some measure of control, and she couldn’t seem to walk away without checking it twice to make certain that it was exactly centered.

Paul gently placed an arm behind her back to keep her from turning around again, and guided her into the kitchen where Andrew was already getting things out of the cupboards. The earlier sunshine had been replaced by dark clouds and Monica looked cautiously out the window, wondering how long it would be before the storm broke. Andrew and Paul joined her a moment later, as much to drag her away and get her talking as anything else.

There was no warning, no loud noises, no shouting, only a very light popping noise as the two high velocity bullets punctured through the panes of glass, leaving perfectly round holes and a spider webbing pattern spreading out around them. In a heartbeat Paul had thrown the Irish angel to the ground, and was reaching for the radio that was clipped to his belt.

Andrew crouched on the ground, ready to cover Monica’s body with his own, or follow whatever orders Paul gave out. Only Monica herself seemed unable to move, as her eyes remained fixed on the window. The bullet holes were nowhere near where she had been standing… there was one on either side of her position, just above where Paul and Andrew’s heads had been.